All That I've Got
by BlackWingedGabriel
Summary: Takes place during New moon after Edward leaves. Bella discovers a mysterious vampire in Forks with a past so dark it puts her life in danger and makes her question her loyalty towards the Cullens. Will Edward and Bella's love be strong enough to last?
1. November

**Well, this is my first Twilight fan fic. Um, it takes place during New moon after Edward left. There's no Jacob…or werewolves, sorry. Please read and comment. I'm aware this chapter is a bit slow and maybe boring but Bella **_**was**_** sad after Edward left obviously so it's not like I can just write that off no matter how annoying her never-ending angst was, it would make it OC and that is the last thing I want. **

November

_There was nothing, absolutely nothing. I ran but the foliage was eternal, engulfing…empty. Cold, merciless terror gripped me at the blunt realization; there was nothing left, nothing returning. I was alone… _

A loud bang followed closely by a clap of thunder interrupted the stillness of the forest and the vision flickered like a failing light bulb. My eyes snapped open and my mouth closed shut, I had been screaming.

"Bella! Bella, what's wrong? Did you have that nightmare again?" the voice made me blink the film of tears that had come uninvited during the nightmare and try to really wake up. Slightly groggy and disoriented I tried to sit up on my bed just as a flash of lightning lit the room for half a second showing that Charlie's face was but inches from my own frowning with concern. I cringed internally feeling guilty at having woken him again for the fourth night in a row now. Seriously, how long would this nightly routine go on? The very idea of going through that forest with the emptiness that asked, almost begged for _his_ presence threatened to start me into a bout of near hysteria again.

"I-I'm okay," I managed to croak, the screaming had left my throat raw.

"You look far from okay," Charlie growled angrily sitting beside me making the springs in the mattress groan. Even in the pitch dark, without the help of the occasional flash of light I knew he was glaring condemningly, not at me but at a certain someone he felt held all the blame for his daughter screaming murder in the middle of the night.

"I'm fine Dad, really. You should go back to sleep," I said dully laying my head back on the pillow. When he didn't reply or make a move to leave I turned to look at the neon light of my alarm clock; two fifty a.m. If he was going to wake up in time for his five thirty shift he definitely wasn't suppose to be sitting by my side at two fifty in the morning racking his brain trying to find a way to console me. This only made my guilt increase and annoyance peak. "It was just a nightmare; we should get some sleep Dad."

I felt, rather than saw his nod and the mattress made a sound of relief as he stood. Perhaps feeling that anything he said would be of no help at all Charlie simply shuffled out carefully and closed the door noiselessly behind him.

Even as I had told him I was fine I knew it was a complete and utter lie. A sheen of cold sweat had collected itself all over my body leaving me clammy and uncomfortable. The screaming had made my throat close up but I didn't feel like going down stairs for water. Knowing sleep would surely evade me I stood and headed to my window prying it open slowly so that it didn't make a noise. I didn't need Charlie to come back and try at a sad attempt to make me feel better. A fall storm was raging outside; it surprised me that the heavy rain, wind and thunder that were so obvious now with the window open, hadn't woken me earlier. Freezing drops of water pelted my face and upper arms making me completely awake. The gale attacked me head on and made my hair whiplash wildly around me but I didn't care. The idea that I could get pneumonia also didn't concern me.

Nothing really mattered nowadays, not the wind or rain, not Charlie eyeing me sadly whenever he thought I wasn't looking, or the pity my friends usually reserved for me every time they saw me on the halls of high school. Life was cumbersome, filled with a fog that separated me from everyone, isolating me in my private little hell. I suppose it would appear to others masochistic the fact that I actually preferred it that way but the truth was I just couldn't see any other way to live. If I did, the pain would be unbearable…I wouldn't be able to keep it at bay and it would drag me down, never to resurface again. The few brave times I attempted to clear the fog and see clearly I would see _him_. On the driveway waiting for me, leaning by my locker, sitting on the driver seat of my truck, on every single empty seat in each of my classes, the lab table in Biology being the most unbearable. And he would always be smiling, happy to see me. Smiling that one tranquil smile whose very memory now pierces my chest leaving me breathless, mocking at the fact that there is no longer a heart to be pierced.

* * *

"It'll be so much fun, what do you say honey? I honestly think some sun and beach will be good for you. We'll go shopping and sightseeing…oh! And I heard of this wonderful little restaurant that serves pineapples in every dish! Isn't that charming? Phil was actually talking about renting a yacht! Can you believe it...?"

I tried my best to stifle a sigh and settled for giving the ear piece of the phone a wary look. Renée had been going at it for the past twenty minutes trying to convince me of joining her and Phil up in Hawaii for the incoming holiday vacations. I hadn't gotten any word edgewise but I didn't mind, except for the fact that Renée didn't appear to be running out of steam anytime soon. This was going to be one hefty phone bill…

"Bella, if you want to go say yes, if no, no," Charlie said softly to me from his position in front of the television apparently thinking along the same lines.

Blinking out of a stupor I had kept myself to tune her out along with the football game Charlie had blasting I cleared my throat. Silence on the other end was immediate; she knew the answer was coming.

"Mom, I don't want to leave Charlie alone for Christmas," I heard myself say flatly. On my peripheral vision Charlie turned from his game to give me a reproachful look, stung I was using him as an excuse. "Besides, they are giving us a large project as a last semester grade I want to really work on it."

Even as the lies flowed easily from my mouth I regretted them knowing I was hurting her, she had really been looking forward to seeing me. She also had the wistful illusion that every mother possessed; that with enough maternal bonding everything else would be healed. Renée was obviously worried like Charlie and everyone else but what no one understood including her was that no amount of sunshine or citrus fruit would fix me.

"Okay, if—if that is what you want," her voice sounded cheerful but strained. I hoped that it was because of the poor telephone connection.

"Yes, but take a lot of pictures! You also better buy me a key chain," I forced my self to say cheerily but it sounded painfully bogus even to me.

"Oh Bella!" she sighed and my stomach clenched, was she crying? "Of course I'll take a lot of pictures! I'll send you tons of post cards okay honey?"

"That'll be great mom, you have fun though."

"I will, bye honey."

"Bye mom."

I hanged the phone softly wanting to put out of my mind that my mom was probably crying for her daughter who just had to try too hard to even grin. No one should have to try this hard…

Charlie said nothing as I headed towards the stairs but I knew he wasn't really watching the game. He probably sat there wishing fervently that I had decided to go dance with a straw skirt and a bra made of coconuts. To him anything would've been better than having to come home to me asking him how his day went but knowing I really wasn't listening to his answer.

What I wanted, what I truly needed was sleep. A slumber so deep that I wouldn't dream or wake from: a coma. Wake years from now, old and decrepit knowing that years, even decades went by and I wasn't able to feel this crippling pain in my chest. It wouldn't help though. As soon as I would wake it would be the pain all over again because I would awake and there would be no cold arms embracing me.

I looked up at the staircase, seeing the darkness of the hall beyond and knew it wasn't a place I wanted to be. Memories were struggling to resurface and I was drained from my parents' expectations, I didn't have it in me to hold them in much longer. My room awaited like always, dark and smothering with the memory of his soft voice, his gentle kisses…

'_I can't do this, not tonight,'_ I thought frantically stepping unconsciously away from the steps.

"Bella, are you alright?" Charlie asked, his voice sounding a million miles away. Wordlessly I nodded looking up at the darkness that beckoned. No, not tonight, I wanted to breath, just for a minute…close my eyes and see no one pasted on the back of my eye lids.

"Bella what are you doing?" only when Charlie was standing in front of me did I realize he was in between me and the front door and my car keys were digging into my hand as I gripped them for dear life, "Where are you going, it's almost nine."

"The—the drugstore," I stuttered reaching for my coat which I had tossed carelessly on the couch earlier. "I need…poster board for my project."

"Oh, alright," he said, still frowning slightly, "but hurry back, it might start snowing tonight."

"I will," was my hasty reply as I flew out the door to my truck. I was on a frenzy, my hands shook as I started the engine whose roar didn't make me jump like usual. I felt a weird energy that coursed through me, making it almost impossible for me to think clearly, just watch like a spectator as I changed gears and handled the wheel. Maybe this was how a junkie felt when yearning for another fix, except my drug was no longer available. Only after an odd screeching penetrated my groggy head did I realize I was flooring the gas, forcing my truck to go beyond fifty-five, which it obviously couldn't handle. I felt my stomach giving a summersault as my hands made a sharp turn on a break among a cluster of trees.

'_What part of "I can't do this" didn't I get?'_ I wondered frantically as the large three-story house came to view. _'No, no, go home Bella!'_

But my body simply refused to obey me. I had parked and turned off the engine before I knew it. An abrupt silence followed, so strong it cleared my head harshly leaving me gasping for breath. What was I doing here? I needed my bubble, my fog, where was it?

Even though Charlie had claimed snow, the sky didn't concur. The storm from the other night had moved on through out the day but only a couple of clouds remained. A full moon stood uncovered on the sable sky. It gave an eerie glow to the white house, as if it was a ghost on its own. My feet dragged me to the door while my chest constricted with pain. A faint feeling of hope stirred within me and I knew everything was lost. As soon as I opened the door whatever was behind it would destroy me. Whether it was empty or…or—_no don't think about it, don't you dare hope._

Why had I come? Why? I had managed so far, hadn't I? And yeah, maybe I was a little…detached than most people, and yeah, maybe I was so apathetic to the point of having no soul but I had managed. This would break my last shred of self and leave me empty because if _he _wasn't there it would be the forest nightmare all over again except I wouldn't be able to wake up from it.

My hand shook as I reached for the door knob half-wishing it wouldn't open yet knowing somewhere deep in my mind that it would. The door swung wide open without resistance or sound proving me right. I looked and instantly wished I was in my room with the memories that dug like knives.

The vast emptiness of it all felt like a sucker punch right to my gut and I staggered, clinging to the doorway for support. It was ten times worse than I had expected, no—a million times worse.

I took it all in, letting the sorrow engulf me. There was no furniture, no frames, no anything. It looked sad and forsaken in the dim moonlight, an empty vessel like me. I looked at the large room and shuddered, it seemed to hold me in contempt as if I was interrupting on its private mourning.

A faint whispering came from every nook and cranny as I stared, _'You're not good for me Bella…'_

"I know that," I mumbled gripping the wall and taking a single step sluggishly as if drunk.

'_Of course I'll always love you…in a way…'_

"Please don't say it…not out of pity," I whimpered back to the darkness.

'_I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human…'_

"I never cared about that," I whispered back desperately. The velvety voice soothed me while at the same time cutting deeper than I thought it could. I always figured I was already cut beyond repair but this was excruciating, could I really be this masochistic?

A loud crunch reverberated through the open space making me jump in alarm. Another startled look made me realize I had just stepped on a sizeable piece of glass. Now that I took a closer look though…

Entranced I fully entered the house ignoring the door closing softly behind me and gasped, the velvety voice left me alone as I looked around in amazement. Two of the large windows that were the wall to the south side of the parlor had been broken, hence all the glass. It was everywhere along with dead leaves and twigs reflecting the moonlight making it look like a sparkling pond rather than wooden floor. There was no grand piano, no chairs but I somehow wasn't affected by that, not at the moment anyways. Who would do this? Why vandalize such a wonderful home? It was a hideous crime. A cold breeze flowed through the broken windows blowing in some more dead brown leaves. It was then when I realized I was shivering, the house had been like a walk-in freezer and I hadn't even noticed.

I walked towards the windows, crunching along as I went. The wooden floor below the windows and a little beyond were faded with water marks, a small rain puddle had formed underneath the sill whose white paint was chipping off. Just how long had they been broken? By the damage it looked like it had been this way for weeks, a month even.

'_I'll go home and tell Charlie, maybe he'll find the creeps who did this,' _after a second though I realized I could do no such thing. The idea of Charlie's expression when I told him I had gone to the Cullens' home in the middle of the night…I shuddered at the thought,_ 'Maybe an anonymous tip would do the trick…'_

I turned to go but something caught my eye. My chest constricted tightly in shock as I stared. On the corner, secluded in the only shadow of the whole room was a dark figure. It sat crouched into a tight ball motionlessly like a statue except my frazzled brain screamed to me it wasn't one. My heart, the heart I swore had shriveled into ashes for the past two months gave a start. Was it _him_? Could it really be?

I took a step forward, his name ready in my lips when it moved. My hope and heart sunk like rocks. My eyes had adjusted enough for me to make him out clearly. It was a man wearing nothing but a pair of soiled pants. Everything about him was soiled as a matter of fact; it was as if he had rolled himself in mud. I couldn't tell his features because of the dirt except for shoulder-length hair that could've been black or maybe blonde for all the muck it was plastered with. His shoulders were wide but lean, almost emaciated looking. Even though he held himself in a fetal position I could tell he had very long legs. Hmm…a hobo perhaps?

I kept my distance but he didn't move anymore, he didn't even look at me. This strangely irritated me, who did he think he was? This was private property…at least I think it was. He was trespassing, and probably catching pneumonia if he didn't get on a shirt or some shoes on.

"Did you break the window?" I asked trying to sound severe but it only came out sounding dull, as if I was asking about the weather.

He remained silent but bowed his head so that his matted hair fell over his dirty face like a curtain, so that he didn't have to see me. Heat slowly came to my face distracting me for a second; it had been while since I had blushed…or been angry.

"You're trespassing, I'm going to call the cops," I bluffed, conveniently forgetting I was trespassing myself. The man said nothing and remained immobile. Another cold gust blew in more leaves but the frostiness of it made me give his half-naked body a second look. He was going to be seriously ill if he didn't get some clothes on. I began to unzip my coat, relying on the thick turtleneck I had worn through out the day to keep me warm enough.

"Here, wear this while I go make a call," I held out my coat walking towards him which was probably the worst thing I could've done.

He turned to me, his entire face drawn in controlled fury, "Go away, don't get near me."

Even though he looked so haggard sitting like a child on the floor his angry voice was deep and commanding. It resounded in the open spaced room but that wasn't what made me gasp. His eyes…they were eyes I knew very well. Eyes black as coal. But these had a glitch to them…the black was so absolute as if there was no definition between iris and pupil. The black was also larger, almost overwhelming the white as well. Yet there was no mistake, none at all. He was a vampire.

I dropped the coat and stepped back in shock but slipped on shards of glass. My hands instinctively went to the floor, trying to stop the fall and I felt tiny pieces of glass cut all over my palms and fingers. I sat on the floor slightly bewildered by the fall, staring at my hands where blood was collecting around shards that varied in sizes. Before I thought of what to do next, my body had made the decision for me. I struggled to my feet and ran, ran out the house into my truck and sped off. Even as my chest constricted in terror and I hyperventilated in between terrified sobs I wondered if Edward would've been proud of me…that was the reaction he had wanted from me all along after all.

**Please review…whoever might read this. Should I continue or just turn off my computer and see more mindless television?**


	2. Intruder

Intruder

_'Vampire...here in Forks…hungry…damn…what am I doing?' _I wondered blithely, looking up at the Cullen's home as I drove slowly into the driveway. In the bright afternoon sunlight it didn't look as dismal or ghostly as last night but it still looked painfully vacant. The door was closed and no amount of sunlight seemed to be infiltrating the blank windows. It was like it was a completely different house, one I hadn't happened to be running from last night screaming like a character in some cheesy horror film. Coming to a complete stop, my hand lingered above the key on the ignition, undecided. Was I really going to do this? Was I really this suicidal? I let my eyes wander to the passenger seat where a large brown grocery bag sat and I gulped, maybe I hadn't really given this a lot of thought. Charlie came to my mind making my hand drop from the key another inch.

The concern and wary amusement in his eyes from this morning's conversation made my hand fully lower to my lap.

"I know you are…uncoordinated Bella but this is a little too much honey, you have to be careful. I mean, tripping on _gravel_, that's got to be a new one even for you. Did you scrape your hands that bad?" he had asked with slight exasperation but relief I still had some of my old self in this empty shell I called my body.

I had looked up from my toast to stare up at Charlie getting ready to leave, gun holster in hand as he took his dirty plate to the sink.

"Yeah…I-I'll try to be more careful," I'd heard myself mumble staring at my heavily bandaged hands as they handled the half-eaten toast. With an uncharacteristic show of emotion Charlie had gently patted one of my hands and kissed the top of my head before heading out the door.

The lump that kept popping into my throat every so often since last night made its appearance again but I fought it down. I had cried enough as it was, cried like a maniac even. After I had gotten back from the Cullen's home in a daze Charlie had been entranced by the weather man telling him snow was probably a given the next day to even notice as I arrived wild-eyed, with hands covered in dried blood, coatless, and with no poster-board at hand. It still amazed me how calm I had turned off the ignition to the truck and entered the house. My voice had also been astonishingly clear and composed as I said I was tired and heading to bed.

The first thing I had done with as much deliberation as a walking zombie was lock my self in the bathroom with a pair of tweezers, cotton balls and a bottle of alcohol. There were more glass shards embedded on the palm of my hands that I had thought possible. Some as little as grains of sand, others almost as big as teeth; with patience I knew the shock of the whole experience was giving me I spent the best of an hour plucking away. It had been no easy task; my hands were shaking so hard I kept dropping the tweezers. After that I had forced myself into the shower, turning it scalding hot but I couldn't feel it. It was only after I had poured some shampoo into my hands and began to lather did I really feel the damage to my hands. Red, hot stinging caused by the chemicals in the shampoo made me cringe in pain not even the alcohol had accomplished. For the first time since my sudden crazed state after Renée's call did I feel myself get complete control of my body and the shock that kept me active dissolved leaving me weak. I had crumpled in the shower staring at my hands, red and swollen with small streaks of fresh blood flowing along with the water that still rained over me. Flashes of the Cullen's desolate home went over my eyes, blurring my vision but I was unable to stop them.

Like a slide show I watched my memories get ahead of me without control. The white house glowing desolately…the thick darkness devoid of life…the sparkling glass…the man…

It was about then that the tears had begun. I was terrified, cold and in pain, that much was true but that wasn't the reason I was crying. As soon as my state of shock left, reality had hit me like a bat and the disappointment took over. I knew I had gotten my hopes up and now I had to suffer the consequences. _He_ hadn't been there, and why should've he? Edward had left, never to return.

There_ had_ been another immortal in the house though, the wrong one, but an immortal nonetheless. I had gone to bed shaking uncontrollably from repressed cold I had ignored the entire time. Once in my bed, with the quilt over my head like a child my thoughts had turned to the horrid vampire. His alien eyes full with rage, the dirty state he was in made me cringe and hug my knees to keep myself together. Then I remembered that that was how he had been, crouching in the darkness rigidly as if he too was freezing and out of control.

But vampires weren't affected by the cold…were they? No, Ed—_he _had been complete proof of that always wearing thin shirts, no coat in the worse of weathers. Now, out of control…that was food for thought. I knew for a fact that black eyes on a vampire, well the Cullens anyways, meant they were thirsty. This…_man_ had had black eyes but…

I had never seen Ed—_his _eyes that weird. Even when we had met for the first time…

'_No, don't think of that,'_ I shook my head violently and focused my sight on the front door of the house. So black eyes, yes—so the vampire was hungry, that much I had figured last night which had triggered my great show of bravery that had caused my tires to leave skid marks on the drive way.

During the night I had fought to keep my riling mind at bay and not think about what I had just gone through. After a long time of that exhausting attempt I had succeeded and slept a very light sleep not even the nightmare bothered me this time. But when I had woken I hadn't felt rested at all. It seemed like I had been part awake, part asleep and the part that was still awake had gone over the night's events without me and had come up with a nagging suspicion that made me feel clear headed and worried.

My perpetual depression was put off to the side temporarily as I had dressed and washed my face. This suspicion alerted all my senses making me edgy as I had had breakfast and lied through my teeth to Charlie about my hands. Once the door had closed behind him and the sound of his cruiser was long gone I was rushing up the stairs to his room. Making a mess I swore to fix as soon as I returned—if I returned, I got what I needed and proceeded to my bedroom to get my truck keys. My backpack sat on the bed waiting for me to take it but I turned my back on it without remorse. A single day of skipping class wouldn't seem suspicious. I suspected no one would even notice my absence to begin with.

After that I had made my first stop a little outside to the outskirts of Forks. This stop had been difficult if not mortifying but that was how I had gotten the brown grocery bag beside me or actually the contents in it. Then with what I assumed hopefully was bravery, not stupidity, I had driven to the Cullen's in broad daylight.

'_Now…what?' _I wondered dully finally turning off the truck and pocketing my keys but not making a move to get out.

This was idiocy at its best, the worst possible thing I could've thought of doing given the conditions but I knew I had to see this through. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't confirm my nagging suspicion…then again, if I was wrong I wouldn't be alive for long too.

'_He didn't come after me,'_ I told myself for millionth time since I had woken in the morning to calm myself. He was hungry, starving, and he had had me there, a stupid clumsy human, why hadn't he taken me? Not only had I gone into the house in the night, unprotected and oblivious, I had made a smart Bella move and gotten myself cut right in front of him. A paper cut had been enough to send Jasper to a murderous hunger, now _two _hands full of droplets of fragrant blood…

The speed I had fled with hadn't been all that impressive either; he could've easily been able to catch up.

There were also the only words he had spoken to me, _"Go away, don't get near me."_

They had obviously been meant as a warning, not a hostile remark to my presence, or at least that was what I hoped for.

Maybe, just maybe, this vampire refrained from human blood like…like the Cullens…and maybe, just maybe he knew about them, that was why he was here. It couldn't all be this colossal coincidence for a vampire who didn't drink human blood to have ended up in the past home of a full family of vampires who called themselves 'vegetarians'. It wasn't like they were a common vampire family. As far as I'd been told there was only one other group of vampires who coexisted with humans but they were all the way in Alaska…

With a trembling hand I reached over and got the bag, making my choice. I had to ask him…ask him if he knew where they were, knew how to find them…I _had _to, for my sanity, to make up for the disappointment I had brought upon myself last night.

The bright sunlight that made me blink furiously was an odd sight. Sunlight in Forks was uncanny, especially when snow had been predicted. Usually snow beat sunlight in this place, just like paper would always beat rock.

'_What if he left?'_ the unwelcome thought popped into my head as I approached the steps. Maybe I had managed to scare him off? I approached the door and turned the knob still half-wishing it wouldn't turn. But like last night it opened effortlessly, with a deep breath I went in.

The room was just like I had left, covered in debris and leaves, and dark. I hadn't noticed the vines and shrubbery that had outgrown and covered most of the windows in the room. They created a fake sort of darkness that made me glance back to the open door to check if it was still day outside. Faint light did come through the broken windows but not enough; I had to let my eyes adjust before I could take another step.

And when they did…he was still there. It was like he hadn't moved in the entire night, like he really was a statue. Of course I knew otherwise, but that didn't mean I knew better so I let the door close once more behind me and I took a tentative step forward.

Just like last night his head snapped towards me and his black eyes flashed wrathfully at me but he remained silent. It was a staring contest that I had to forfeit if I wanted my legs not to give under me.

"He-hey, I was here last night," my voice came out strained and squeaky. Clearing my throat I tried once again, "I d-dropped my coat so…"

This was a stupid excuse for my return but now that I had said it I looked around to see my coat on the floor only a yard from him where I had dropped it.

The man never removed his furious eyes from me and I made no attempt to retrieve the coat. A stiff silence followed and the atmosphere was thick with a certain antagonism emanating from him. Then acting so fast I almost screamed he leaned with a long arm for my cloak and tossed it violently at me.

"Leave."

The room vibrated with his deep voice but his face hadn't changed as he returned to his sitting position, I wondered if he had spoken at all.

As I looked at him, glaring back at me I knew I had been right all along. He wasn't going to attack me. All of his stiff body language told me he wasn't about to jump my bones…literally. This gave my legs a bit of strength and courage so I kept myself from running away like I really wanted.

"No, I'm not leaving," was my reply which made his eyes flash in annoyance then distrust as I walked slowly towards him then stopped a safe distance in the middle of the room. I tossed my coat back to the ground and sat on it so the glass wouldn't cut into me. He watched, nostrils flaring in anger as I placed down the large bag. From it I pulled an old faded plaid shirt Charlie had used for his weekend fishing trips but wouldn't miss anymore, and also a pair of sweats in a just as bad condition. Feeling like I owed him for his earlier rudeness I tossed these articles of clothes and watched him catch them looking mutinous. His face was blackened and caked so much with dirt that I couldn't tell if he was frowning or simply looking at the shirt with contempt.

"I also figured you might want this," I added taking out two large pint-sized containers. For the first time I managed to get a real reaction from him other than anger. His eyes widened in surprise as he stared at the containers and his hands stopped gripping his arms violently. With exaggerated care I stood and got as close as I dared before he started to back himself into the wall and placed them in front of him.

"It's pigs' blood," I told him unnecessarily. I tried to hide my satisfaction as he slowly reached for one container and removed the cover. He stared at its insides, gave me a dubious look and sniffed it, probably making sure I hadn't added anything foreign. Apparently satisfied at what he smelled he pulled it up and began to drink deeply and hurriedly. I thought he was so starved all he wanted was to drink it as soon as possible but after he was done I realized it wasn't so; he was gagging.

"That was disgusting," he said hoarsely grimacing but reached for the second container and emptied it in five long gulps. I watched entranced, knowing fully well my mouth was hanging open but I didn't care. After he put down the second container I watched as his face strained with the flavor he obviously found displeasing. I guessed that if he'd been human, he would've been puking it all out again.

"I'm sorry, that was the best I could get," I said faintly wondering if he was green underneath the layers of dirt. "It was also a few days old...and cold."

He gave me a dark look that didn't completely hide the nausea he was feeling.

"It's just that the man from the slaughter house I went to told me pigs' blood was the best clean blood he could give me since the cattle had too many growth hormones injected to them. But the pigs are usually killed on Tuesdays and today is Friday so yeah…" I babbled remorsefully, he really did look like he was going to be sick.

'_I've killed a vampire'_ I thought wildly, _'This only happens to me; I managed to single-handedly kill a vampire!'_

I was sure that in any other occasion this would've been hilarious to someone with a dark sense of humor but that wasn't me. I might as well just be a walking nuclear bomb…

"It's fine," he said flatly eyeing my panicky expression warily, "I knew it would be that bad just by smelling it."

"Oh," I blinked and realized I had been covering my mouth with my hands, "Then why did you drink it?"

"It was better than nothing," he replied fully turning his head to look at me clearly. He was finally looking at me, not with anger but with detached curiosity. It wasn't a very flattering look, he eyed me as if expecting for me to pop some antlers from my head and start singing the national anthem. "What are you?"

Three simple words, that was all it took really. I was still pretty jaded, dealing with all of this out of simple curiosity and a secret hope I wouldn't admit to myself, not because I thought it affected me directly. I knew deep inside that coming to the Cullen's home again hadn't been an act of stupidity or bravery; I just really didn't care for the outcome, for my well being. I didn't care for much period and yet those three words...I saw red.

"What do you mean by that? I'm a human girl!" I snapped indignantly, "Don't you think I should be the one asking that question?"

"You already know what I am," he said in a bored voice gesturing at the empty containers giving me an Aren't-you-an-idiot look which made heat take my face by storm.

"Y-yeah, so! You're a vampire and you're dirty!" I retorted and instantly regretted it, what was I? Four years old?

His right eyebrow went up through the dirt, clearly unimpressed. Silence followed this brilliant exchange of words. I glared at him and he seemed to think too little of me to even bother to glare back.

He made me so mad! Just sitting in his little corner, insulting me…

"So why are you here?" I demanded glad my voice had retained an edge to it, "It's still trespassing even if you're dead."

"It's none of your business," he said bluntly, "you are a trespasser as well."

"Well, at least I don't vandalize," I snapped back without thinking. He simply gave me a disdainful look but didn't reply and I gasped. So I had been right, he had been the one to break the windows. "You could've just opened the door you know…it wasn't locked or anything."

"I'll try that next time," he said sardonically.

If I had had an ulcer, it probably would've erupted by now, "Were you looking for the Cullens?" I asked through clenched teeth forcing myself to keep in mind why I had even bothered to come in the first place.

"That doesn't concern you," he said turning away from me as if he had finally had had enough and he was dismissing me.

My mouth snapped open ready for an angry retort but as he bowed his head as if tired the steam went right out of me. He looked so pitiful, I was beginning to have the faintest suspicion that he was too worn out to even move from the corner. Or maybe it was hunger. I knew that vampires where beautiful by nature. Aside from the fact that he was dirtier than the floor he sat on, he was too thin for it to be normal. He was a sick vampire. The thought struck me as odd for I had never thought that conceivable, yet as I stared at his hallow jet black eyes and protruding shoulder blades I knew it was true. The man was starving to death…except he couldn't die. Thirst was physically painful for vampires, I had learned as much. Yet the way he looked told me the life he led was excruciating, especially if he didn't drink from humans.

"How much more?" I asked suddenly. He turned warily to me, apparently disappointed I wasn't leaving yet, "How much what?"

"How much more blood do you need to become normal again?"

If my apparent human oddness and extent of vampire knowledge hadn't gotten to him, now it did. He blinked a few times in shock and his mouth fell open.

"No offense, but you look like a walking skeleton…"

Finally getting control of himself he closed his mouth and shook his head firmly, "I don't need anything from you, go away."

"You're right, not from me…you need a shower though," I said airily getting up from my coat, stretching my stiff legs, "Is there running water in the house? Should I get you some soap? Underwear maybe…?"

"Go. Away."


	3. October

**I'm so sorry for the delay, what was it, three weeks? Sorry people. Anyhow, it's my senior year, my internet was taken away, I have AP cal, and English to worry about and I have a bunch of essays to write for scholarships, grants and such so yeah…I have pretty good excuses, don't I?**

October

"You're back _again_?"

A young boy with orange hair and enough freckles to the point of being 'tan' came up to me as I parked my truck. He was wearing overalls and brown boots that had stains of what I seriously hoped was mud but was probably not.

"Yeah, my science project isn't done yet," I said attempting at a friendly tone but it came out pretty dry, even to my ears. He scowled and walked away; I rolled my eyes and followed him into a large warehouse-type building.

The Forks slaughter house was just three miles outside of the town limits. It consisted of four large metal buildings and hundreds of acres of land behind them where the unsuspecting animals grazed lazily for what little time they had left. The building we had gone into was the one that contained the offices and a small store people could come to and buy their meat 'fresh'. The smell was overwhelming, I couldn't tell what was worse, raw meat or cow poop, it was probably a tie.

It was to the store the boy led me to. I ignored the ghastly displays of carnage, wondering if I would be a vegetarian after this out of pure trauma.

"It'll be the same as usual," I said trying to breathe through my mouth as I extracted my wallet. The boy eyed my wallet covetously and extracted a large brown bag with the slaughter house logo from behind the counter. I kept my expression passive, trying not to show my irritation. What gave him the right of being annoyed at me returning if he had been expecting me to begin with?

"Two pints of undiluted pigs' blood from today's batch," he said sounding like he was repeating to me my order of chicken nuggets and extra large fries on a drive-through. "That'll be twenty dollars."

My eyebrows rose in indignation. That was two more dollars than the last time I had been here, the little prick…

My lips pursed as I handed him a twenty to his already outstretched hand. There wasn't anything I could do about it. It wasn't like there was any other place where I could get animal blood with a stupid excuse like a science project for school. I suspected the boy, who I had been doing business with for the past month, didn't really believe it; he was just in it for the money. He never put the money in the cashier after all; it would always smoothly flow into his dirty overall pocket. And the way he anxiously looked about, as if waiting to be caught any moment let me know this wasn't something allowed. It made me feel strangely guilty and paranoid as if I was purchasing some illegal substance in a dark alley. When a couple that looked like tourists in exaggerated Eskimo jackets came through the door unexpectedly we jumped like scared mice.

"The next batch will be on Monday," the boy told me casually before I could ask, eyeing the newcomers nervously.

I gave a curt nod and took my package from the dirty counter; we exchanged dark knowing looks before I left without a word and hurried to my truck.

Okay…this was getting a little out of hand. The very idea someone buying pints of blood twice a week would creep out anyone, it wasn't exactly normal. But the boy was too greedy to care, what did that say about him? Then again I was the one buying, so what did that say about me?

'_That I'm a creepy cult fanatic probably,'_ I thought furiously peeling out of the parking lot. I had to turn on my headlights even though it was only four in the afternoon. Charcoal colored clouds were hovering ominously but no rain had fallen yet: the calm before the storm. It was going to be bad one.

I sighed and pressed on the gas a little more. I had to go to the Cullen's place and then hurry home with enough time to prepare dinner so that Charlie didn't suspect home hadn't been my first stop after school. This commute had gone about for almost a month and I was getting pretty good at managing my time to keep it a secret. The only thing that would've given me away was my odometer and dwindling pocket money.

As I turned into the drive way of the white home my stomach clenched painfully. You would think that after returning to the place every week I would get used to seeing it…so alone…so obviously lacking its true owners. It pained me again and again, a stupid reminder of _his_ total absence and yet I returned like the masochist fool I was.

"I come bearing gifts," I said dryly opening the door widely. I no longer hesitated to even touch the door knob but I had to wait a while for my eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness and for my chest to unclench at the sudden emotions I always experienced when first entering.

Expectantly I turned to the corner wondering if there was a new change. Every time I would come it would seem he hadn't moved at all since the last time I had seen him. Then I began to notice that sometimes there would be subtle changes like his hair brushed behind his ears, the angle of his shoulders to the wall, the tilt of his head and so on. It later became the "Guess the Next Move of the Undead" game. I would mentally give myself points if I guessed correctly what body part he had moved while I was away. There had actually been a memorable occasion last week when I had arrived and he had been looking directly over his head, entranced. My breath had caught on my throat excitedly as I had turned to look at what he was looking which had been—a bug. Seriously, a stupid moth had gotten his complete and utter attention.

This meant I was probably below insects since after my second memorable visit he no longer gave me a second look or graced me with the dulcet tones of his monotonous voice. It was like he had decided I didn't exist, or at least thought that if he ignored me long enough I would get bored and go away. When I would arrive with the blood and put it before him he wouldn't react. I was puzzled at first and had left wondering if maybe it really had been too disgusting to even try again even if it did quench a little of his thirst. When I had returned the next day, both containers had been emptied thoroughly which annoyed me. Why couldn't he just acknowledge the fact that he needed them in front of me? He had done it before, why did he have to be so disagreeable now?

Since he had decided to ignore me so completely, I had retaliated by forcing him to drink the containers while I was there. It had been as simple as sitting a distance away and telling him how my day had been. I would babble endlessly, which was surprising to me. It was still painfully difficult for me to carry a normal conversation in public or with Charlie, either that or I just didn't feel like talking at all. But here in the empty three-story house in the dark I would talk until my mouth was dry.

He was a fast learner though and had seen right through my ploy, but rather than simply keep ignoring me he had hastily thrown a white flag and gotten the containers, gulping them noiselessly while looking at me sullenly as I stared back at him with a smug smile.

He was stubborn after that though, he would hold out through my pointless talk for different intervals of time. It could take him fifteen minutes to cave, other times up to forty depending on the topic I had chosen. Descriptions were the fastest, my detailed descriptions of washing the dishes, doing laundry or what I ate for breakfast would wear him out sooner than telling him about school, books I was reading or random analogies I would come up with just for the occasion.

"So yeah…" I said airily sitting in my usual spot on the other side of the room across from him. Like always, there was no reaction but I was unperturbed and proceeded with this little game. "My day was pretty eventful today. I woke up, brushed my teeth, got dressed, you know; the usual. Then I tripped going down the stairs for the millionth time…Charlie is seriously considering in installing an elevator just for me. Breakfast was okay…I got creative and made waffles but I burned them so I ended up eating cereal anyways."

My intelligent conversation was drowned by a roll of thunder so loud the window panes trembled and a slight vibration was felt on the wooden floor. I stared up at the ceiling in wonder. That had felt like it was right on top of us, so much for calm before the storm. The storm itself hadn't started yet, there was no rain only a culminating fall wind.

"You know…if you go and stand out in the rain, it might do you some good," I told him conversationally, earning me an uncanny shrew look from him. I had been hinting or sometimes just bluntly stating he needed a shower, so much to the point it would actually get a reaction out of him; annoyance mostly.

"Anyhow…what was I saying? Oh, breakfast! Yeah, the cereal was multigrain…you know, like corn flakes only more nutritious…and delicious, ha that rhymed. Except it turns soggy very fast…" When was he going to cave? When? My endless babble kept getting more air headed each time, how in the world could he stand listening to this nonsense? It made me wonder if I had had a lobotomy without my knowledge lately. "My truck is getting worse; people are actually beginning to complain. They say it causes 'Noise Pollution', can you believe it? Well, _you _obviously can, I bet you can hear me coming three miles away righ—"

Another peal of thunder ripped the heavens, so loud it left my ears ringing. The rain finally had made its grand entrance pouring rain drops the size of buttons. I frowned, getting home was going to be tricky. I glanced at the full containers and debated whether to leave now. The decision was taken from my hands by my mysterious vampire pet, because that was what he was, in my mind anyways, my very own vegetarian, dirty, undead vampire. I fed him didn't I? Before he knew it I'd be buying him a pretty collar and calling him Fido.

With the smooth, fluid movements that belonged to every vampire, he reached gracefully for the containers and downed them as fast as he could without choking or gagging. I stared dumbfounded, he had caved already and not even five minutes had gone by, was I good or what?

"Alright then, I'll be going now," I said brightly getting to my feet. He said nothing, just tossed both containers to my side of the room. I collected them on the same brown bag and made a mental note of burying them inside the garbage can back home before Charlie saw. Giving a cheery wave I closed the door behind me and made a run for my truck. It was useless though, I was soaking wet by the time I had managed to open the door and fling myself in. I turned on the ignition hurriedly; I definitely wouldn't make it home before Charlie in this weather. As I backed up I made the mistake of giving the white house one last look.

Everything came pouring back to me like an empty glass being filled with bubbling, boiling liquid. My life, so pointless…empty without him, without…Edward.

I gritted my teeth at the name,_ 'Don't think of it, don't think, just drive,' _I chided myself, but it was useless I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and my throat closing up. It usually was like this when I was careless after leaving my new found pet. I managed to close my mind, become a new me when I entered the white house that no longer was _the_ white house. If I thought of it hard enough that house of memories became just a vacant three story building where the vampire happened to be.

The world I usually resided in, where I had no ambition of living in, let alone speak or just _be_ in would dissolve behind me every time I drove out of town to the slaughter house and back to the hostile vampire. I could be a whole new bold Bella that bought pig blood, tried to befriend blood-sucking guck-covered fiends and talked endlessly of moronic things. This new Bella ceased to exist the moment the three story building was no longer on my rear view mirror. This was why I couldn't leave him alone. This was why I would spend a small fortune on gas and _blood_ of all things. I knew he hated my presence, resented my help even, but I just couldn't stop. It was like a new project I could immerse myself in, something the gapping hole in my chest had no say in.

My eyesight was blurry as I made my way down the empty road encased by tall, shedding trees. I didn't know if it was because I had forgotten to turn on the wipers or because I was crying, whatever the case I didn't see it. The large, soggy, broken branch hadn't been there in the middle of the road, then all of a sudden—it was. It all succumbed to no more than a couple of seconds played in slow motion before my eyes. I saw in a dream like state my hands turn the steering wheel sharply, my truck reacting violently. In the back of my dazed mind I could hear the wheels skid on the wet road out of control. My body was tossed harshly like a ragged doll's as my truck turned and went head on for a tree despite my poor attempts at the brakes.

I closed my eyes in the nano seconds that flew by and _his_ face was glued to my eyelids like it always was except today it was more vivid. I could make out his shinning hair, his warm eyes and teasing grin. A blunt hit to the car sent my head back in whiplash and in that instant I knew I was about to die, I knew, and I couldn't be happier that my last thought would be of _him_, my Edward, my love…

'_It won't hurt anymore…'_

…Except it did…Who would've thought, in death your neck and head throbbed…death was a funny thing. A faint drumming sound, almost metallic played all around me. It sounded like…a fanfare to the pearly gates? No…it wasn't melodic…it sounded…like rain.

My eyes opened and I couldn't have felt any more stupid.

I wasn't dead obviously, I was just a moron; a melodramatic moron at that.

I rubbed my neck feeling annoyed at myself; there was also a lump forming above my left eye where I had brilliantly rebounded my head on the steering wheel.

"I'm such a dork," I muttered darkly getting out of the car to inspect the damage. The truck was on the opposite lane of the road, stretched out in a diagonal line headed for an ancient oak I was positive would've totaled my sturdy steel truck. But it hadn't obviously. My truck wasn't even three yards close to it, and there was absolutely no damage to either of them. It was an early Christmas miracle, an event of the ages, a sign of the heavens that I was beloved!

Or my very own personal vampire pet.

My eyes were as wide as plates and my mouth was hanging wide in a very idiotic way but I couldn't help it. He was there, standing casually by the cab of my truck inspecting two conspicuous dents on my front bumper. The rain was still pouring mercilessly to the point that my clothes already felt heavy as if I was swimming underwater. And just like I had pointed out earlier the rain was doing him a kindness. Layers of dirt and mud were flowing off him steadily to reveal that he in fact was wearing a pair of dirty black trousers and no shirt. (He had refused to wear the clothes I had brought him) He was a ghostly white, almost translucent all over. There even was a faint glow that emanated from him. The meager blood I had supplied him with had done its job apparently. He no longer looked emaciated, his broad shoulders showed defined muscles but not enough to be bulky. My theory of his long legs proved to be almost too right. He was tall, extremely tall. It irked me the fact that my head was an inch or so from his shoulders. The dirt wasn't washing off completely but it was enough for me to figure out that his hair was in fact the color of mud—dark brown.

When he finally turned to me I was relieved to see that his eyes weren't alien anymore, they were still pitch black but they were normal sized. I also noticed warily that like all other vampires he was extremely handsome. Handsome, not beautiful, his strong sharp jaw, broad forehead with frown lines constituted him on the more 'manly' side. There was also the fact that he looked like he was around twenty-five or so years old. He looked more mature than any other vampire I had seen, including Carlisle and that horrid James or Laurent.

He stood there in the rain staring at me expressionless, there was a faint look of irritation in his eyes as if I had dragged him out there to force a shower out of him. I blinked, wondering if he'd disappear in a flash like others of his kind are wont to do but he didn't seem in a hurry. In fact as I got a closer look at him I could see his chest subtly rising and falling as if he was winded. It shocked me: he was exhausted. I could see it from his hunched stance and the way he leaned on my truck. His coal eyes dilated fractionally and so fast if I had blinked again I would have missed it. He was still hungry and getting worse by the minute. I sighed and winced slightly at the discomfort in my neck, why was my life so complicated?

* * *

"Well, you can't say this day wasn't productive. You saved my life _and_ finally took a shower, for which I'm extremely grateful," I told him brightly sitting Indian style on my bed. I couldn't help the grin that kept creeping to my mouth. It was funny really, no hilarious, that's what it was. I had a fully grown vampire man crouched by my window on the floor and he couldn't have looked more uncomfortable if he had been sitting on a bed of nails. It wasn't his discomfort I found so amusing though, well, not totally.

After a silent struggle in which I nearly forced him into my truck by simply approaching him (he didn't want me to touch him) the man had ridden in furious silence on the passenger side as I had driven home carefully, the new Bella fully in control. He could've just ran away, as I kept pointing out every time he threw me a quelling glance, but he had decided to come with me after all. Getting home was tricky but I was extra lucky, maybe there were several accidents caused by the storm because Charlie hadn't arrived yet. I threatened the vampire by telling him I'd pull him out of the truck and push him in the house with blunt force if he didn't do it himself. I was slightly surprised when he did, it made me feel guilty. The guy was obviously weak and I was taking advantage of it.

I didn't feel so bad as I cornered him on to the bathroom though. He had left trails of mud all over the house, the least he could do was shower. While he had done that I had moped the mess and attempted to make dinner for Charlie who hadn't arrived yet and I hoped he wouldn't for a while. Or else how would've I explained the naked vampire in the shower?

My hands were shaking and my thoughts were running a million miles a minute without my control. I felt like a child who had found a puppy in the street and was keeping it a secret from her parents.

After I burned a pork chop on the skillet to the point of being charcoal I gave up on dinner. Charlie would have to deal with a sandwich. At that point I had turned to go check up on the showering undead to find him standing right behind me. I shrieked and threw him the rock-hard chop I was about to toss in the trash can. With reflexes I could tell were slightly sluggish from his feeble condition but still impressive nonetheless, he caught it and gave me a disgusted look.

"You scared me," I said unnecessarily gasping for breath. After I had calmed down and shooed him to my room like a child I finally noticed he was wearing Charlie's old sweats and plaid flannel shirt. They fit him alright except the shirt hanged from his thin, broad frame. I was used to seeing Charlie fill it all up. His dark hair, fully clean, went to his shoulders in perfect waves.

He had retired to the corner of my room by the window and had settled to drilling a hole broodingly at my carpet. It was then when I truly felt hot guilt swell inside of me. There was something from his blank expression that still screamed indignation, anger, and vulnerability all at the same time, it was painful to watch. It didn't take a genius to figure out he was feeling pathetic and powerless at my hands. I also strongly suspected that for whatever reason he had saved me, he was regretting it dearly now. It hadn't gotten to the point where he would look at me with scorching hatred—not yet, but there was definitely resentment.

"It would help if you told me your name," I said hesitantly from my bed, "and what you want too."

"I wanted you to leave me alone," he snapped so sharply I cringed. His voice, deeper than I remembered it, rang with anger and his eyes flashed with open accusation.

"Then you shouldn't have saved me," I snapped back after I had recuperated from his temper. I blinked, this conversation was familiar…too familiar. I gulped and shut my eyes to fight the memory in private. The accident with the truck…the anger afterwards, was it dejavu or something altogether new? I didn't want to find out; I didn't want to cry, not again.

"Well I did," he said heatedly, more to himself than me, "and now I can't take it back. I can't take anything back."

I opened my eyes and glared at him, so he _did_ regret it! The jerk…this was definitely _not_ dejavu

"I don't suppose you'll tell me why you did it to begin with," I said sourly, mirroring his angry glare.

After a while he looked away to stare at the carpet some more, the blank expression was back in place, almost stoic, "I was leaving the house, I was finally strong enough," he began. I was startled at the fact that he was actually answering my question but I was more surprised to hear he was going to leave so suddenly…well; it wasn't like we had been buddy-buddy enough to deserve a good-bye.

"I heard the vehicle…I was running that way," he explained in a dull monotone, "I wanted to know…no I _needed_ to know just how weak I still was," his eyes were hard with plain disappointment. Apparently he hadn't gotten the results he had wanted.

"So," I began clearing my throat and fighting for my voice to sound casual, "the real reason you did it was to test yourself?"

He looked up at me; the disappointment was replaced with the irritation I was growing very familiar with, "Why else would I have bothered?"

The tone was irate as if asking the most obvious of questions to an idiot but it still rang with open honesty. He had never thought of _saving_ my life, that idea probably hadn't crossed his mind at all.

"Then I shouldn't bother with thanking you?"

He sighed in frustration and exhaustion, "Do what you want just leave me alone from now on."

The new Bella he brought out of me found that extremely amusing, seeing as how he was the one sitting in my room without any further action to leave.

I had slowly come to the realization that he was a heartless man, which was perfectly fine with me. My heart was long gone too.

**Okay so, please review people, I'd appreciate it and…it'll be a while before I can update again, sorry.**


	4. Nameless

**Okay, I know I took a really long time to update and I'm sorry. Especially for those people who actually read this shit. If truth be told school is kicking my butt and I don't have time to write this but I know for a fact there are a few out there who really seem to like it. So I'll continue the story for you guys. And yeah ****MexicanChic****, I do hate people who don't finish their stories, I won't be one of them.**

Nameless

"Please?"

"No"

"Pretty, please?"

"…."

"Ooh, should I guess? Is it Fabio? John…Timmy…?"

"Leave me alone girl," the vampire finally snapped and reached forward to lock the closet door shut. I frowned at the closed door but refused to give up; he would have to give me a name eventually. I sighed and proceeded in changing clothes for the day. The fact that a male was in the room didn't even faze me, he was in the closet after all. The only problem was getting actual clothes from the closet. Two stone-cold eyes greeted me as soon as I opened the door once more.

"Hey, I have every right to get a friggin sweater," I muttered under my breath without looking at him and yanked a charcoal-colored sweater from its hanger. As soon as I had stepped inches from the door to close it he reached once more and snapped it just centimeters away from my nose.

"Act your age!" I yelled at the door touching my nose tentatively, grateful it was still intact.

After two very close calls which involved Charlie wanting to come in my room without notice, which caused me to make the vampire literally jump out the window in a record time of seconds, it was decided the vampire would reside hidden in my closet. It wasn't a mutual decision…it was my decision. In my defense, I did ask him for his opinion in the matter. He just gave me one of his famous looks that clearly wished me a heart attack, walked into my sizeable closet and slammed the door behind him. Every time I would look in there he would be in the darkest corner covered by hanged sweaters and a rather long raincoat. If truth be told, he looked right at home in his little corner.

Once dressed I skipped downstairs without tripping, a first in the Swan house.

"Morning!"

Charlie almost spit out the scalding coffee he was sipping by the counter, his eyes bulging slightly. After a while of Zombie Bella it was only natural for him to find New and Improved Bella a bit shocking, even eccentric. It was like nothing he had ever seen before; the New Bella talked a million miles a minute, laughed at the stupidest things, actually burned things in the kitchen, and was able to keep her balance once in a while. I guess he was glad for the change but still remained apprehensive as if I was Bipolar and sooner or later I'd get a manic-depressive episode or something.

The New Bella was something that scared me too. All the memories and pain would return in that slight interval at night when you drift between being awake and actually falling asleep. That was the only time of the day when I could feel a distant throb in my chest. That was also the only time of the day when the real me could emerge. The Bella that wasn't heartbroken or animated, it was the Bella that had a little bit of both. It was then when I reasoned that this New Bella was very reckless and something had to be done about her, but then I would wake up. New Bella would be in control and thoughts of Edward would be held at bay for another day. Because that was his name: Edward. I had gotten to the point where I could hold myself together and still think of that two syllable name. I couldn't say out loud though, not yet.

"G-good morning," Charlie stuttered giving me a small hopeful smile which got bigger as soon as I grinned widely at him and prattled a list of things I could cook him for breakfast. "Well, if you're so excited to cook for your old man, how about an omelet?"

"Coming right up," I piped turning so fast to the fridge my long plait smacked me right on the face.

"You've been full of energy all week," he commented seating himself on the table and looking at me work, "I'm glad Bella."

His face fell for a second and I knew he was wondering if this was only a phase, if it would pass and I would be depressed all over again. I busied myself on the stove to keep from looking at him. I wanted to go to him and tell him I would be okay, I would make it, the world was a good place again…but I couldn't because I didn't know myself. I didn't know how long it would last either; this euphoria that kept me going. There was a constant anxious twitch in my gut when I wondered when it would end, I feared it would come and I wouldn't be prepared. I knew for a fact that this was all connected to my vampire pet upstairs. A secret, a life-threatening danger: that was what he represented. I wondered if having him so close kept a regular pump of adrenaline going through me all day. It would definitely explain it all.

"What are you doing today?" he asked casually as he finished the last bite of his omelet. He didn't want to seem too interested in my answer but his eager eyes gave him up.

I smiled and shrugged looking up at the ceiling, "I was thinking of going for a hike today, it's a nice day.

"It's cloudy Bella," he pointed out frowning but not prohibiting me to go all the same.

"I know, it's not raining though," I replied smiling innocently.

* * *

"Go for a walk—with you?" the vampire asked, his eyes drilling into me with open suspicion. He was seated in the floor by the window as I raided the closet. I turned to him and nodded with the innocent smile that had won Charlie over still in place.

He studied me detachedly as he sipped a mug of pig blood I had brought up to him. I kept several pints in the very back of the refrigerator in containers of plain yogurt which I knew Charlie would never touch. The vampire was able to drink it much more easily now since I could warm it up in the microwave for him, he said it was 'passable'.

"But I don't want anything to do with you, let alone take a walk," he said, his tone meant to cut.

"Yeah, yeah, you hate me, that's old news get over it, just for today anyways. It's a nice day, no rain or snow according to the trusted weather man," I said while extracting a moderately heavy jacket from the closet. "It's completely clouded so you can go outside without the fear of looking like a walking disco ball."

There was no response as I immersed myself further to extract my hiking boots from the very back of the closet. "So what do you say?" I finally asked sitting on my bed to put them on.  
"I say I don't trust you," was his blunt reply as he stood up, his long legs stretching beneath him.

I looked up questionably at him, "But you'll go?"

He put the mug down on my desk and walked to the window. I couldn't see his expression as he stood looking out with his back to me, "I'll go," he finally replied.

"Do you want a jacket, it's chilly out there," I said standing up. He passed by without a response but he rolled his eyes at me.

Supernatural. Vampire. Immune to the cold. Right…I had forgotten.

He leaded the way out the house but amazingly waited a few yards away with his back to me as I locked the house.

"The passenger door is open Fabio," I called out to him pointing at my truck.

He eyed my ancient truck with contempt and didn't move. I could see the obvious question forming in his mind. "The trail I want to go on is a few miles away, we'll start walking from there," I explained getting in the cab.

He walked to my side of the car; the borrowed boots from Charlie I had lent him crunched the gravel ominously. His arm reached and kept me from closing the door. My mouth snapped open, a protest ready in the way but my voice died as he leaned in so that his face was dangerously close to mine. His eyes were still ink black but resembled real eyes. That was very small comfort seeing as they were burning with an overwhelming murderous intent that took my breath away.

"I'm humoring you," he said dangerously soft, his breath coming like cold wisps of air that stroked my still face. "I do not trust or like you. You are nothing but a weak human so you do not pose a real threat to me, but do not think for a second I won't kill you if you try anything stupid. And don't call me Fabio."

With that he slammed my door with a loud bang and walked around the cab to the passenger seat. I looked out my window and saw my reflection staring back. I was surprised to see that the girl looking back didn't look scared at all. When I gave it a thought my pulse wasn't racing or anything, I truly hadn't been scared that a cold blooded killer had just threatened to do that—kill me. The New Bella wasn't just reckless she was stupid. A good dose of fear was what I needed, someone had actually mentioned that to me not too long ago…

"Okay," I said airily as he took his seat and closed his door, "now that you have threatened my youthful life, why don't we discuss your name. I have to call you _something_."

He turned to the window without further words, I sighed.

The drive to the trail was a silent one. It didn't take a genius to figure Fabio, oops; the _guy_ was a man of few words. He was also very hard to read. His face was usually devoid of any type of emotion with the exception of anger or annoyance. It was heartbreaking to think he would never be the life of a party, tear.

We drove further into a mountain whose top was covered with low clouds. I stopped the truck by the side of the road where a ranger sign post dictated a trail began right there. The trees, mostly pine, towered over us and created a shade that made the temperature much cooler. The lack of sun and the already existing shadow of the trees created an ominous look to the beginning of the trail. I gazed at it and sighed. I had to do this; I had been planning it all week. I couldn't back out now.

"Let's go," I mumbled extracting a map of the area and compass. We hiked in silence, my nose buried in the map. I tripped a lot because of this but I was afraid we wouldn't go in the correct direction. After half an hour of silent walking I stopped, satisfied.

The vampire stood still, a couple of feet away from me. He knew I had had a secret motive for coming which had made him curious. I knew that was why he had decided to 'humor' me and come along; he wanted to know what the _weak human_ girl had in store for him.

"Where are we?" he asked crossing his arms, his eyes studying the area then returning to me in cold calculation.

"A few miles east from Goat Rocks Wilderness," I answered folding the map and tossing it to him. "This was the closest route I could take to accompany you," I explained,  
"But this is as far as I'll go, you're on your own.

"I circled the areas hunters say are full of deer and elk. There's…grizzly bears but I don't know if it's their hibernation period," I said looking at the ground, the throb had begun. Sadness was sipping through my thick jacket into my very bones. I blinked furiously; the last thing I wanted was to cry in front of this cold-hearted man, but it was too hard. The very idea that he would leave made the New Bella begin to retreat. The numbness was disappearing and the memories flashed before my eyes like fireworks.

"And mountain lions…there's mountain lions too."

"You brought me here to feed?"

I laughed without humor turning away from him, "I didn't bring you here to try to kill you or something equally stupid if that is what you thought. You aren't my favorite person either but I figured you might be getting tired of pigs."

He didn't reply so I prattled on, talking made me feel better, "You looked so much stronger this past week I just figured you could do it…unless you aren't up to it." I turned to look at him. He definitely looked strong and able; the sickness of the thirst was only present in his inhuman black eyes. "If you can't, then maybe I could bring you back next weekend…"

"I'm ready."

I nodded and looked sadly at the continuing shadowy trail and wondered. Had Edward ever gone this very path, Emmett, and Alice along with him too?

_I miss you…_

"Who are you?"

My thoughts scattered like a puff of smoke and I turned to him in surprise, I wasn't a 'what' anymore, I was a 'who'…yay.

That didn't keep me from frowning in irritation though, "I'm _Bella Swan_, I've told you a gazillion times."

His eyes narrowed but the menace was gone, replaced with puzzlement, "How is it that you, a human girl know so much about my kind? You knew when I was hungry, about the sun…"

My depression was growing, I couldn't, no—I refused to give him answers. If I did he would be in on it. He would be part of the world where the old Bella resided and pined for a lost love that broke her apart. Maybe he would settle for the abridged version, that, I could spare.

"I got to know the Cullens; they were 'vegetarian' vampires like you."

"You knew Carlisle?" he asked skeptically, taking a step towards me.

"Yes…and his family. Were you two friends?" I asked thrilled the mysterious vampire was finally giving me details about himself.

"No, we weren't," he replied flatly, "And I didn't know he had a family."

My eyes widened as big as plates and my mouth opened in a slight 'o'.

His mouth shut into a grim line, clearly aware he had somehow given up something without meaning to.

"So you knew Carlisle before he got a family?"

More cautious now he didn't speak but gave a curt nod.

I smiled in wonder, "Wow that makes you more than a century old— you're one elderly man."

He gave me a quizzical look as if I was some weird scientific project that he wanted to figure out then looked down at the map I had tossed at him.

"I suppose I'll have to take your word on this," he said and walked on to the trail. I thought he might look back at some point but he never did. He went on and on until only the darkness of the forest and my own thoughts remained.

* * *

"So—so how was your walk?" Charlie asked his forced cheeriness was almost too painful to watch. I couldn't blame the guy. He had left in the morning after spending quality time with a human, albeit an extremely hyperactive one, but still, and he had returned to a somnambulistic daughter instead. The New Bella was being washed from my system. The absence of the usual rush the danger of my little closet secret gave me was leaving me dull and exhausted. My old self was trying to take hold by cooking and racking my brain for some conversation to make with my father but Zombie Bella threatened to take over.

After an excruciatingly long dinner Charlie finally surrendered, his hopes trampled on, to go watch a game while I cleaned the kitchen. I looked out the pitch black window and wondered just how far the anti-social vampire had gotten by now. It didn't matter anymore though, my distraction was gone. Maybe I could find another one?

I sighed and shook my head, just exactly how many more non-human blood drinkers were out there to nurse back to health? If I tried the math in my head the answer would always turn to zero.

Once in my room I threw myself on the bed, fully dressed. I wanted a deep sleep from which I would never wake up and face reality…hmm, maybe just sleep this one night, I could settle for just one night.

Close my eyes without Edward's flawless face staring back…

SLAM

I shrieked and rolled over, my heart beating on my throat. My room was dark; someone had turned off my light at some point and covered me with a thick quilt. I gazed distractedly at my alarm clock, five in the morning. I had managed to fall asleep after all.

All this rationalized itself in my head even as I jumped out of the quilt and reached for the light switch. Once the light hit my eyes I felt the pain of my pupils trying to adjust to the change so suddenly. I blinked the pain and sleep away furiously and concentrated on a figure emerging from my now-open window.

"I couldn't measure my strength," he explained a-matter-of-factly gesturing at the window he had violently opened.

I stared in disbelieve and amusement. My vampire pet had returned and it apparently had snowed where ever he had been because there was a good portion of fluffy flakes matted on his head and broad shoulders. He closed the window with exaggerated slowness as if testing how much strength was too much strength.

"Bella, are you alright?" Charlie's heavy foot steps made me gain some sense. I opened the closet but didn't have to bother in ushering the vampire in; he calmly walked in and closed the door behind him.

"I'm fine," I said opening my door to a sleepy-looking Charlie, "A bird hit my window and scared me, you should go back to sleep."

He frowned, "A bird? It probably broke its neck." He looked past my shoulder to the foggy window, "Oh well, I might as well get ready for work already, I go in at six."

After he left I didn't dare open the closet, my heart still raced, I didn't think it could handle it.

I returned to bed but tossed and turned, I hadn't taken off my clothes so I was extremely uncomfortable. It didn't matter though, as soon as the clock read five-forty five, Charlie's cruiser left the driveway and I opened the closet door. Two bright green eyes stared back. They didn't threaten or flash in annoyance, they just gazed coolly at me.

"You aren't thirsty anymore," I stated backing off as he got out. His walk was much more graceful and his pale skin definitely had a certain glow to it. Even though he wasn't as bulky as Emmett had been, his height and taut wide shoulders made him seem oddly tall and out of place in my average-sized room, along with his no-nonsense grim stare. But the change that was most obvious was his eyes. They had caught me off guard once I had opened the door. I just hadn't expected for someone so stoic and menacing to possess such green eyes. They weren't the opaque green normal humans had. His eyes were as green as spring grass or fresh leaves, so bright to the point that one would be able to make out across a big crowded room.

"Did you get some irritable grizzlies, I heard they're the best," I said slumping gracelessly on my bed.

He had been looking at the mess on my cluttered desk but he turned slightly to me. I managed not to gasp or have a heart attack at what he did then. When he had turned there had been a small turn of the lips, a small grin, so diminutive and abrupt I could've imagined it. The man could recognize a joke, God help us all.

"No, but I did get several elk."

"That's good," I replied conversationally, still distracted by the impossible idea that the man was capable of a smile. He gave a curt nod and proceeded with studying a couple of snapshots of Rene and me I had on the dresser. It occurred to me then how odd it all was. I had met him, this seemingly twenty-and-some year old man covered in guck, completely hostile in an abandoned house…if I ever felt like writing a mystery-horror novel I think this would be one of my first cheesy plots.

I was relieved he had come back. I wasn't really fond of the sourpuss vampire but by the way I was feeling at the moment it seemed he had brought New Bella along with him.

Glad as I was to have her back, his unexpected arrival did rouse some suspicion in my muddled brain, "You came back."

Without further pretense of studying my desk lamp he turned to me, impassive as before. Maybe it really had been a twitch of the face and not a smile, who knew?

"I came back," was his short response.

He wasn't going to give me any more than that, I could tell by how hard his eyes were becoming with defiance to anything I might question.

I gestured towards my window, "Next time just tap or something, the bird diving into it won't work on Charlie twice."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I nodded vaguely turning to see the pink hue the rising sun was casting on everything. It was going to be a nice day.

"If you must call me something, my name is Gabriel."

I smiled at his grudging tone of voice, still looking out the window, "Gabriel…it doesn't really roll of the tongue, does it?"

"It's either that or nothing, I don't care how good Fabio might roll off your tongue," he said dryly returning to my desk from which he picked my physics book. He flipped through it in vague interest and settled himself on his usual spot of the floor with it.

"Can I call you Gabe?"

"No"

"Please?"

"No"

"Pretty, please?"

"Don't you ever stay quiet for more than a minute?"

I stood up and leaned my forehead on the window glass and saw a shinning layer of pink snow glowing under a crystal, clear blue sky. The cold glass felt good as I closed my eyes, my eyelids were empty. There was no image, only a dull red from the sun.

"Sorry Gabe. It's a challenge, Gabe, but I'll give it a try—Gabe."

"I'm going to regret not smothering you in your sleep won't I?" he asked idly turning the pages of the large text book. In the back of my mind my common sense screamed at me he wasn't joking in the slightest but I set the suspision aside, today was a new day.

I laughed softly watching my breath fog the window slowly, "Yeah, you probably are."

**Yeah, people his name is Gabriel, no coincidence there, I just really love that name.**

**YAY! I've finally established the beginning of it all; that took some time didn't it? Sorry, now the real stuff is coming up. The slowness of the whole "developing of characters" was even getting to me, but now that that's done the plot will start to develop. And next time I promise to update sooner. **


	5. Snow Globe

**Yay! I promised to update faster and here it is you guys. I hope you like this chapter, I wrote a first version but I hated it so I had to start all over from scratch. Please review if you can people, I would much appreciate some feedback or comments. I always take into account what you guys tell me, even if it's a flame, I'm a big girl, I can take it.**

Snow Globe

I gazed at my Calculus problems but they looked like little runes with squiggly lines, _'The recursive formula for a geometric sequence…uh, am I on the right page?' _I blinked confusedly at the front board of the classroom where the assignment was written, apparently I was.

_'Concentrate Bella, concentrate,' _I kept repeating like a Buddhist mantra but it was close to impossible. The pencil I had kept tapping furiously on the desk as a nervous tick slipped from my grip and flew like a missile directly at the back of Jessica's head. She shot me a venomous look and flipped her head away sharply. Mr. Varner who had witnessed the event picked my pencil and gave me a warning stare. I sank low on my desk determined to kill a certain vampire as soon as I got home because this, as far as I was concerned, was his entire fault. From my lack of concentration to my now-angry teacher was great _Gabe's_ fault.

Just remembering the events of the morning was enough to make me grit my teeth in contained irritation.

It had started as a normal school day, and like all school days the vampire remained in his closet corner ignoring my existence and I his. Only on weekends was when he actually acknowledged me nowadays, and that was only because I would take him to the trails he was suppose to take in order to hunt. We had to keep changing them so that park rangers and other hunters didn't become suspicious of the sudden depletion of animals in the same area. Whatever the case, this morning Gabe had had the sudden urge to take a stroll in the morning frost. It had come as a surprise when he had emerged from the closet in the morning, not only because it was highly unusual but also because I had been on the process of changing. I later told Charlie I had screamed and thrown my bag full of text books at the wall because I thought I had seen a mouse.

After my hyperventilating had ceased the tactless man had leaped out of the window saying over his shoulder he wanted to take a walk, nothing more nothing less. No apology for the thoughtless intrusion. I wanted to chuck my lamp at his back but that would've been too childish. Instead I left the lock on the window undone so that he could come in whenever he returned, like a wayward house cat.

Then, just as if destiny really hated my guts, my truck refused to start. As soon as I had turned the key in the ignition and given it a little gas, it gave a sad groan and died completely. I stared at the dash board in transfixed horror, my truck! My old yet perfect truck! Before I could start a good loud tantrum Charlie had come out of the house saying the engine was probably too cold, I should've let it warm up first.

He offered me a ride to school in the cruiser and I was in such a rotten mood as it was, I was about to refuse but it was either that or walking in the freezing weather.

Okay, it was obviously a bad morning. Everyone has them once in while right? There was still a whole day ahead, filled with goodness and good luck for Bella. At least that was what I had been telling myself all through out the morning. The usual overcast sky didn't promise rain as usual but many people around me were saying that snow was probably on the way. Maybe it was just one of _those _days…who knew?

During lunch as I sat with Mike and Angela on my sides in the stuffed cafeteria I began to wonder if my surly mood wasn't all due to irritation towards a simple bad day. I had been having bad days for months, ever since Edward's absence. This was different though. There was a disturbing feeling that had settled itself on the pit of my stomach ever since I had seen Gabe jump out of the window this morning. The initial irritation I had felt at him for his brazenness and at my truck for failing had all been masking it all along.

_What if he didn't return? _I felt my usually blank face crack into a frown as I realized this thought had been echoing all along inside my head but I had been resolutely ignoring it all along. As everyone in the table erupted on a roar of laughter at a joke Mike had told I gave a start, having forgotten I was surrounded by people.

'_He'll be back,'_ I thought to myself with forced confidence, _'He just went for a walk….'_

The bell rang and a multitude of protests and groans rose all around me but I paid no heed. I turned to the large windows and stared out at the tall pine trees that surrounded us along with the gray sky they seemed to always reach for. December had to be the most depressing month of the year; it was so silently cold…like him.

* * *

"Stupid truck," I muttered under my breath later that day. Once school had let out I had gone straight to the parking lot just to remember my truck wasn't there, I would have to walk. At first I didn't mind, it was just a short walk. A mile later and a book bag with one too many books later I began to reconsider my condition. My feet were freezing, I couldn't feel my face and the shuffling sound my boots did against the pine needle-covered ground was disconcerting since it was the only sound I could hear. No bird calls, no insects or rustling leaves, just me and my awkward pace.

The only thing that kept me going, the only thing I would've rather died than admit even out loud to myself, was the idea of getting home, opening my closet and seeing a pair of glowering green eyes stare back at me.

I know that if anyone saw inside my head they could've concluded that I was infatuated with this man but it wasn't like that. I didn't care or like him, I needed him. He was my distraction. The object I could successfully concentrate on and never give anything else a thought, and that is exactly what I needed, what I wanted: to never give anything a thought, it hurt too much.

'_It was just a walk, or maybe he was already hungry and didn't want to wait till Saturday.'_

My backpack straps were digging mercilessly into my shoulders so I took it off and let it slump uselessly onto the ground. It gave a dull thump and scattered brown pine needles everywhere but I didn't care, I walked over to the nearest trees and sat, leaning on the trunk. A small rest, that was all I needed, then I would force myself to power walk all the way home. As soon as I had settled myself there was no more sound. It was as if the world had paused and everything had ceased to be living. No breeze came; no sound of the people of Forks reached me at all. For a moment I had the wild thought of those glass snow globes. The ones you would shake and the snow would fall on a frozen, everlasting entity while a sweet melody would play on the outside of inch-thick glass, never reaching the entity. I felt like the entity, trapped in a snow globe without hopes of escape. And just as if the world agreed with me, a flake of snow hit me square on the forehead. I gazed dully as snow flakes began to fall softly and silently around me, my own private snow globe, my own solitude.

My hand extended to catch a flake but in that split second my globe disappeared. A loud crack from behind me made me jump up and turn wildly. There was nothing as far as I could see but my racing heart was enough proof that I _had_ heard something, not just imagined it. Another sound like feet crunching on needles sounded to the far right of the trees that seemed to extend forever.

"Hello?" I called out tentatively but no response came. Charlie had told me enough stories of freaky perverts roaming around the forest to make me make the decision to head home—and fast. I turned to pick my bag but it wasn't there anymore.

"Is this yours sweetie?"

Slowly, cautiously with my heart pounding on my throat I turned again. A man stood a good distance away holding my backpack up to his face with one hand as if it didn't weigh a bit. He was average sized, with a broad forehead that contained an extremely defined widow's peak. His hair was grey like elderly people but his face was flawless and youthful. I didn't even have to gaze into his sanguine colored eyes to know.

Vampire

"Yes it's mine," I responded amazed my voice didn't crack with the terror that was gripping me.

"Hmm, really?" he questioned, closing his eyes and sniffing it. When he opened them, there was a slight teasing look to them that didn't completely mask a predatory glint, "It smells just like you…delicious."

I took an involuntary step back at this but it only made him smile deviously which gave me a good look at his sharp canines. Without taking his eyes off me, he unzipped my bag, reached in and extracted my physics book. He tossed my bag unceremoniously to the side and smelled the book, his eyes glued to mine.

"Tell me girl," he said, his voice dangerous yet smooth as velvet, "why does this smell different?"

The question floored me, it was so random. Was it a trick question? I looked at the text book in his hands, relieved I could answer honestly, "I don't know."

The vampire handled the book delicately as if it was a precious relic and inhaled deeply along the binding.

"I think you do, so why don't you just tell me," he said patiently, giving me a small smile not unlike a teacher encouraging a student. I wasn't fooled and took another step back wondering just how long I could go if I ran for it…probably a foot—or less.

"Why does it smell different?" he repeated, for the first time taking a step towards me.

"I don't know, different how?" I gushed, forcing myself not to run.

He looked down at the book then at me, "It smells like you…and someone else."

"I don't know what you are talking about," I snapped but only to keep my mouth from hanging open and giving me up. I knew. I knew what he meant. Just how long ago had it been? How long had it been since Gabe had told me his name while reading the very book the vampire now handled so cautiously?

I couldn't believe Gabe's smell still lingered on that moldy book after so long, but vampire noses were more reliable than human's so I knew he was telling the truth.

"You are lying to me," the vampire said smoothly, taking another step forward, "tell me where he is, where is Gabriel?"

Like a dance we had going I took another step back as he took another step forward, "I don't know who you are talking about."

A look of crazed rage came into his eyes and he threw the physics book towards a tree; it hit the trunk with an earsplitting crack. Dead pine needles rained on us and loose pages drifted everywhere lazily to the ground.

"Where is he?" he asked roughly, all pleasantries completely gone. I shook my head but was unable to reply. He was going to kill me, right here and right now with snow flakes falling delicately all around us. No one would hear no one would know…we were still in my private snow globe.

"Just tell me the truth and it will be fast, like falling asleep," he said, trying to regain some composure.

Fast and painless…or slow and excruciating, I knew those were the options he was giving me. I wouldn't be able to do anything but at least I would get the satisfaction of having being able to have a say in my death.

"I—I don't know…where he is," I admitted slowly and evenly. I stared at the falling snow, settling so tenderly on the ground and made my choice, "But if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

His expression of fury was the last thing I saw as I closed my eyes and sighed. All the terror had left me to be replaced with a relaxed sort of resignation. If I was lucky, he would be too mad to take it slowly…

I waited and waited until a gagging sound made my eyes fly open. The scene that met my eyes was the last thing I would've ever expected.

"G-Gabe, what are you doing?" I finally managed to gasp running forward.

The new vampire was being held up in the air by a steel-like grip to his throat from Gabe. His feet thrashed and kicked uselessly, and his hands clawed at Gabe's grip to no avail. The gagging sound I had heard was coming from him. His red eyes were bloodshot and bulging out of their sockets. Since vampires have no necessity to breath I was sure he wasn't suffocating but Gabe looked like he was gripping tighter and tighter, threatening to break his neck in two.

I looked at the vampire whose eyes were rolling and his mouth opened in a scream he couldn't let out.

"Gabe, what are you doing?" I repeated turning to him and gasped. His face was blank but his nostrils were flared and that murderous intent I had seen in his eyes when he had threatened me was present except that it was a million times worse. His green eyes glowed with a mixture of masterful rage, hate, and the need to kill. With every second that passed he tightened the grip like a python.

It frightened me like nothing ever before, this change I was seeing in him... The Gabe I had spent time with in the past months had been cold, distant and the farthest thing from friendly but I knew this wasn't him, it couldn't possibly be him.

"Gabe!" I yelled frantically at him but he either ignored me or just couldn't hear me. "Gabe! Stop it!

"STOP IT!" I gripped his arm and pulled. Of course I didn't move it an inch but my touch seemed to rouse him from his maddened state. Slowly as if coming from a deep sleep, he blinked and turned to look at me. He looked vaguely surprised at seeing me there hanging onto his arm. I think he hadn't even noticed my presence until then.

"Gabe?"

Still staring at me he let the vampire go which dropped to the ground coughing and choking on all fours.

He turned to me and my chest constricted, was I next?

He walked past me and picked something from the ground, when he turned I saw he had my backpack which he zipped shut and handed to me. With a trembling hand I reached for it.

"Go home," his deep voice rang with open command as he took a step towards me but I didn't step back, I was too much in shock to be afraid of him now. Since I didn't move he gripped my shoulder and gave me a stern shake, "Go home, now. Go straight there, don't turn back and wait for me there."

Gabe turned his back to me and headed to the coughing vampire. He towered above him ominously. "Go Bella," he said over his shoulder, his voice suddenly gentle. His hair created a curtain so I was unable to see his expression, "you won't want to see this."

In that instant I knew what he was about to do and I felt sick. Moving faster than I ever had I turned on my heels and ran as fast as I could with a dragging bag. I wanted space, great vast space between me and what was about to happen. My legs protested and my lungs burned but I refused to slow down or stop.

When the screams started, they were distant but I could still hear clearly.

I ran faster.

* * *

By the time I got home, the sun had gone completely down. In the darkness I stumbled to the empty house, Charlie hadn't gotten here yet. It took me five tries to insert the key in the lock and actually manage to turn it. Once inside I tossed my bag to the side and removed my coat in a frenzy, I felt like it was gripping me. Running from room to room I turned all the lights on, refusing to be in darkness a single second. When that was done I stopped on the middle of the stairs, gripping the banisters. My breathing came rough and ragged but after a while it slowed down. So did my heart beat but once it did a wave of sickness gripped me. I rushed to the restroom and slammed the door behind me. I don't know how long I remained there suffering the convulsions the aftermath of the shock made me have.

I wasn't aware of time, or of Charlie arriving and asking if I was alright. The only thought I was able to form through out that time was, '_So, this is how it's like to be truly afraid.'_

Time passed and I was able to breathe again, breathe and think. With a great effort I got myself up from the floor and took a hot shower. I made it last long and the scalding water worked wonders in clearing my head.

With acting skills that would've made any actor green with envy I went downstairs to Charlie and fabricated a great lie telling him how I had catched a stomach virus and had a fever, so school would be a no-no tomorrow. I guess I looked pretty bad because he didn't even blink in protest.

My feet dragged as I climbed the stairs and headed towards my bedroom door. I was torn. In one side I wanted for Gabe to be there and to explain everything that had happened today, and in the other I wanted him gone—for good. I wanted to never see him again or have him near me or my father. The fact that he was an evident danger had finally sunk in.

These thoughts crowded my supposedly fevered mind as I swung the door open…and he was there.

He sat on the corner by the window and desk as usual with his arms crossed over his bare chest. Silently I walked in and locked the door behind me. I leaned exhausted against the door, wanting more distance between us than just a few yards.

Like it always was with him, my mouth got ahead of me before my mind could catch up so I asked the first thing that came to mind, "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

"I got rid of the shirt, it got…dirty."

I understood instantly but wished I hadn't. Nodding slightly I walked to my dresser got an extra large black t-shirt I usually slept in and tossed it to him. He put it on all the while looking penetratingly at me as if he expected me to have a fit or start crying.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" I asked evenly, sliding slowly to the ground and sitting there. I truly was exhausted, the effort I had forced on my body was taking its toll. I cringed at the thought of the agony I would be in the morning.

"I killed him," he replied flatly.

My head hung forward, I was tired, so, so tired, "Yeah, I kinda figured…but what did he want with you?"

There was a lasting silence from him but I didn't lift my head, I didn't want to look into his eyes, what if they hadn't changed from the ones he had had earlier today?

"He was a tracker," he finally answered somewhat stiffly, "do you know what that is?"

"Yeah…trackers, they…track you…they're annoying," I added humorlessly, my voice sounded dead even to me, "So that was what he was doing by smelling my book, tracking you?"

"Yes, he arrived at around dawn. I left this morning to Seattle; I thought he might follow me. For a while he did but he was an idiot and kept loosing my scent so he backtracked, that was when he caught my scent in your things."

This all sounded pretty logical to me, I had been threatened by a tracker myself not too long ago after all. There was a crucial piece that missed from this puzzle though.

"Why you, why was he tracking you?" I forced myself to look up and came upon his clear green eyes, they were cold, but normal…I could handle that.

For a while he stared back, measuring me with his severe eyes. I could tell he was debating whether he should answer my question or not.

"He wasn't an ordinary tracker," he began slowly, "he was what you would call a bounty hunter."

I blinked in surprise, that was the last thing I had expected, "I didn't know there were vampire bounty hunters…so there's a bounty for your head?"

Just like before his lips quivered slightly as if amused but I knew I hadn't imagined it, not this time, "You could say that."

I sat in silence for a while staring at this complete stranger. For the past month all I had known was that his name was Gabriel, he liked solitude and silence especially from me, and was weird enough to read a physics book. Now it turned out he was a man with a price on his head.

"Why do they want you? _Who_ wants you? How come they're coming for you now?"

With each question his face darkened, I knew he was shutting down slowly. And effectively he turned away and responded curtly, "Why and who…that is none of your concern. As for why they're coming for me, I guess it's because they barely found out I'm awake."

I frowned, "You're awake? Um, I thought vampires never slept."

"We don't."

"But you just said—"

"I think I've answered the quota of questions you deserved answered," he finally snapped coldly.

My eyes narrowed dangerously, "The _"quota"_ of questions I deserved answered? What is that suppose to mean?"

"It means I have repaid you for what happened today," he replied wryly.

I felt my nostrils flare and my temper rise, even my exhaustion was evaporating, "You don't have to _repay_ me anything Gabe,"I said scathingly standing up, "nothing except for a new physics book."

He also stood up and like he had with the vampire previously, he towered over me but I strangely wasn't intimidated.

"You should've told me earlier then," he replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm, "I wouldn't have had the necessity of wasting my breath on you."

"I've got news for you, buddy," I said loudly taking a step towards him, "YOU don't breathe, therefore you don't have any breath to waste!"

"Bella, you. Are. Exasperating," he seethed taking another step towards me.

We were face to face, both angry and refusing to back down.

"Oh, then why don't you just strangle me to death too!" I said furiously.

"I just might," he retorted gracelessly, "then I might have a bit of peace and quiet!"

"Oh, go take a nap Gabe," I snapped.

"It's Gabriel!"

With that he walked into the closet and slammed the door behind him.

Breathing hard I turned off the lights and stomped to my bed. Once settled in the quilts I stared at the ceiling and counted to ten. It didn't work so I counted to twenty, my breathing eased and I turned to glare at the closet door knowing he was doing the same thing.

Only then did I realize something; he had called me by my name. Not once: twice.

"Thank you for saving my life…again," I whispered to the door.

I closed my eyes and let the exhaustion wash over me. Sleep instantly began to take a hold of me but before I was completely gone I distinctly heard the door give a muffled grudging response of, "You are welcome."

* * *

A groan was the first thing that escaped my lips as soon as I awoke. I had been right to think my body would be in pain. Every inch of me felt as if it was black and blue.

"It would get better if you got up and stretched," a voice said above me. I opened my eyes to see Gabe leaning casually against my window staring out. "Your father just left a while ago."

He turned to me, the glare coming from the window prevented me from seeing his face, "I am leaving today. I guess I owed you enough to tell you that at least."

I sat up in a flash and regretted it in an instant after I got a painful head rush, "You are leaving? Today?"

"Yes, more trackers are going to start arriving. If I stay I'll be putting…people in unnecessary danger. It was idiotic of me to have stayed as long as I did."

My mouth opened about to protest but I didn't know with what. He was right, of course he was right. If what he had said was true and other trackers were coming, he was putting me, my father—the whole town in danger. The only sensible solution was for him to leave.

_'Don't go,'_ my head screamed, _'if you go the memories will get me and take me under!_

_'I'll never be able to resurface again,'_ I realized in horror. New Bella would leave with him…

He opened my window wide; a freezing breeze blew his hair softly about him. Before I could say anything else he jumped out gracefully. Tripping and stumbling I rushed to the window pane. The snow had settled everywhere during the night, it truly was a winter wonderland. In the freshly snow covered ground he walked, leaving footprints as he headed towards the edge of the forest. I wanted to scream, tell him to come back but my voice had left me. The sharp breeze caressed my face as if trying to sooth me but it was too cold, everything was too cold.

Gabe walked on and on, never turning back. If there was at least one thing I had learned about Gabriel was that he wasn't the type to look back. I made the mistake of blinking once and he was gone. Just like that.

The footprints on the snow stopped abruptly.

Snow began to fall idly again. I leaned on the open window and looked at the footprints, willing them to turn and lead to me. I looked and looked, stared for the longest time until I had blinked and just like him they had disappeared swiftly under the snow.

That was that, he was gone and I remained, frozen forever…here in my very own snow globe.

"Don't go…"

**Wow, what is this, chapter 5? Damn, my stories usually only go for nine or eight chapters…this one might go longer. That is right people, in case some of you got confused or something THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER. Ok then, now that that is clear press that pretty little button to the left and tell me what's on your mind.**


	6. Goodbye

**Yesterday I opened my email to discover hate mail…seriously. Hate Mail. Lol, it's cool tho cuz after I stopped laughing I realized what a horrible updater I have been. I am so so so sorry, seriously you guys. The truth is (please don't hate me) I had already written this ch. since Thanksgiving. I didn't post it cuz I just thought it was too weak and I wanted to rewrite it but I just don't have time at all anymore. College applications are a bitch, I'm debating on just not going to college and working as a bar tender the rest of my life just so that I don't have to write another friggin essay.**

Goodbye

_'What am I doing here?'_ I wondered for the millionth time on Monday morning. I looked down at the English Literature anthology the teacher was reading us from and felt an odd sense of detachment. It was one of those spells when you would suddenly look at something familiar you had probably seen every single day of your life and for a split second you realized you didn't recognize this very familiar thing anymore. It wasn't just the book, it was everything. It was my room, my truck, Charlie…my life. It was hard to explain but it didn't feel like my life anymore.

The bell rang and many people whooped out loud. Vacations were about to start so no one would have to bother with English anthologies for a couple of weeks. I sighed in relief, just half of the day to go then I would be home free. As I walked down the corridor filled with laughing and yelling people, I looked at them and wondered how it was that I had actually managed to coexist with these people for as long as I had. Now that I gave it a thought, I really didn't belong.

I was the girl who had fallen in love with a _vampire_, the girl who had actually wanted to _be _one. The girl who had just realized not too long ago she could get along with the walking dead more easily than with the live ones.

These morbid thoughts had engulfed me ever since Gabe's extremely abrupt departure. Not even a week had passed since Mr. I'm-Leaving-Today had left but I felt like it had been months. Charlie hadn't even been surprised at my sudden relapse to Zombie Bella; he had just sighed and returned to his morning paper.

Every single morning that I had woken up knowing the boogey man wasn't in my closet anymore I had felt a little more lost. It was as if that vampire had been my compass and now that he was gone I was stranded inside the walls of my home or of Forks High. What was worse were these feelings of not belonging. His departure seemed to have thrown everything out of balance.

When Edward had left I had felt dead while being alive, I still did sometimes. But this was completely different. Edward's abandonment hadn't made me question who I was. Because that is what I had been doing for a while. I was questioning everything. I felt like everything I was, everything that made me—me didn't make sense, or just wasn't enough.

I had talked to Renée last night, wondering if at least my mother's voice would give me some stability but it just made me melancholic.

Bella was dying. Old Bella, Zombie Bella, New Bella…I could feel each and every single one of them wilt inside me like roses.

All I could hope for now was that when they died off completely, there would be a teeny bit of something left to keep me going.

Once school led out I was probably the only one who didn't cheer while running out of class.

Vacations! Holiday Cheer!

Whatever

I got into my truck but had to wait a good ten minutes for it to warm up successfully. During those ten minutes in which I had seen people laughing and shouting farewells to one another carefree, clearly not questioning their identities, I made a split decision.

* * *

The road was icy so I pressed the gas as far as I dared. It wasn't long before the Cullen's abandoned home towered over me. I turned off the engine but didn't get out. I just leaned on the steering wheel and stared up at the blank, frost covered windows. It wasn't long before I realized it was pointless.

I had come in hopes of feeling like the old me, but there had been too many changes in too little time. I honestly couldn't remember what it had ever felt like to be just me, Bella Swan. I knew that if I had stayed in Phoenix with Renée, had never met Edward and fallen in love, in this very instant I would've been happy. I would've been a normal eighteen year old girl in her junior year of high school. I would've known exactly who I was. And yet…

I also knew that I could never regret coming here…meeting Edward and the Cullens. If I was to be given a do-over by a superior power of some sort I just _knew_ I wouldn't change a thing.

There weren't any regrets, just losses.

As I sat there, the cold gradually getting to me, I focused my attention to the only thought that seemed real at the moment, and that was Gabe. For the past days I had had this growing resentment for the vampire.

He had left, that much was true. He hadn't had the grace to say a thank you, which was fine, really.

What mostly got me was that he hadn't said goodbye. Okay, yes, he had announced he was leaving, I had to give him that, but he had just left. Just like that! It was impolite, it was callus, it was just wrong.

He hadn't said good bye.

In any kind of parting people always needed a form of closure…known as the simple word of 'good bye'. Seriously, who had taught the guy his manners?

I sighed and turned on the truck, it was time to head home.

The drive didn't seem to last as long as I would've liked. I had driven the entire way in a form of highway hypnosis, but if truth be told that was how I usually drove nowadays. I was just lucky to never cause accidents.

Once on the driveway I froze while climbing out of the truck. I was looking at the house, something didn't look right. Charlie wasn't home yet so the windows looked vacant and dark, but still, there was this feeling of misgiving in the air.

And then it hit me: the door was out of place. As I approached it slowly it became more obvious. The front door looked as if it had been taken out from its hinges and placed back on the doorway somewhat clumsily so that it was only leaning on it. My breath made white clouds of vapor before my face as I stood by the broken door, a dead feeling in my stomach. With faked courage I braced myself and moved the door of to the side, it was heavier than I had expected so I staggered and it slipped to the side making a thundering clap as it fell to the ground. Nearby birds that had been lazing on the trees flew off in frenzy.

My breath came out short and ragged after that, especially after a quick look at the hinges. There was splintered and cracked wood as if the door had actually been ripped out. There was only one type of people capable of doing such a thing, at least that I knew of. This suspicion in mind was what made me act recklessly. Any person in their right mind would have never simply entered a vandalized home. But since it had already been previously proved I was insane, I went in anyway.

If truth be told my mind was in a blank even as the damage became clear to me. The hallway table with the phone was lying on its side, one leg broken. The phone, torn from its jack, was nowhere to be seen. I turned to the living room where the couches and table were moved completely out of place. I gasped as I looked at the floor beside me where the television, or what remained of it, laid. It seemed it had been thrown against the wall and broken to a mass of useless glass and wires. I didn't even want to look at the kitchen. The blender was broken in the hallway so I kind of figured the kitchen hadn't been spared.

Without a thought to the idea that the vandalizer might still be in the house, I ran up the stairs and stormed into my room. I stood in the middle, surveying the utter catastrophe around me.

My computer, like the television, had been smashed to nothing. My bed was completely on its side and thrown against the wall. The door to my closet was hanging from its last hinge, my clothes was everywhere. It was as if the interior of my closet had exploded and shoes, boxes, and sweaters alike had been the fatalities. There wasn't much place to walk since most of the floor was covered by a random article of clothing, glass or book from my fallen bookcase. The books were what finally got me out of the shock. Many had their bindings broken and pages torn, it made my throat tighten in anger and fear. Who had done this? Why?

As I gazed around, my vision became gradually cloudy with a film of tears. My life, this was my life, a disarray of useless junk that had no point or place. My heart and self were the computer: smashed and obliterated beyond recognition. The tightening in my throat released itself in an inhumane shriek that left my throat raw.

Every object that hadn't been harmed or broken I finished the job for. The keyboard by my feet I kicked, the unscathed picture of Renee' and me I flung against the wall. This was too much, where had my life gone? Where had Bella gone?

Under my breath I cursed the person who had vandalized my home, the only thing I could call mine. I cursed Forks, the people in it, my dad…my mom for letting me come to this place to begin with…Edward for leaving me…myself for not being good enough for him…

I realized later that it was quite childish of me. All the bad decisions I had made hadn't been their fault, yet at that moment in my destroyed room I couldn't help but lay the blame on someone else.

My lamp by my feet I picked up and threw with all my might out to the hallway. Breathing hard with strands of wild hair over my tearstained face I waited for the satisfying sound of the crash, but it never came. I blinked confusedly, this broke through my rage. I took a step towards the doorway, intending to see where the lamp had gone but the lamp came to me in the hands of Gabe.

He walked in, tossed the lamp to the side with the rest of the broken mess and surveyed my room with a dark look.

"Did you do this?" he finally asked turning his uncanny eyes at me.

I looked at the mess and through all the fury and pain that was dominating me, I managed to feel slightly embarrassed, "Some of it…not all of it."

He opened his mouth as if to question the reasoning behind my answer but suddenly froze. Gabe took another step forward into the room and like a hound dog sniffed the air, "Someone was here."

Impatiently I flicked my strands of hair from my eyes and looked at the room rather sarcastically, "Wow, really, what in the world gave you that idea Sherlock?"

"I meant someone like me," he snapped back looking inside my now empty closet.

I had known—well, maybe not _known_ but suspected it. Who could rip doors open and toss televisions like balls? Not your average burglar, I don't think.

"Charlie will have a coronary," I groaned going over to my computer chair which had miraculously remained intact and slumped on it. "Why in the world would anyone do this? Why would a _vampire_ do this? Resort to petty breaking and entering? What did I do to deserve this?"

"If you stopped your fifty questions, I could possibly try and answer some," Gabe said nastily walking over my things to go and look out the window.

I looked at him, tall and pale, completely out of place in my room as always and asked the question I wanted answered the most, "Why did you come back?"

He had his back to me so I couldn't see his expression, "Another tracker got to me."

"Um…okay, since you are still walking around, I assume the tracker isn't, am I right?"

He nodded, turned back to me and replied grimly, "That is right."

My head swam with questions but I kept myself in control this time, "So how does that have to do with you coming back?"

Gabe leaned against the window frame like he used to do and gave me a piercing look, "The tracker got to me in Ontario this morning. Before I killed him he told me he had a partner who had gone to Forks to look for me there because the trail seemed to be cut in two."

A clock's tick out in the hallway filled the silence that followed. I stared at Gabe and he stared back, apparently waiting for my reaction. He didn't have to wait long.

"Are you telling me," I began slowly, getting up from my chair, the passed fury returning gradually, "that my house was broken into by a homicidal vampire who wanted to get to _you_?"

He gave a curt nod, "I came back for the tracker."

My nostrils flared, I wanted to jump at him gauge out his eye balls, maybe then he would get the fact that this was his entire fault.

"I don't get something," I began, trying to distract myself from attacking him on impulse.

"What is there not to get?" he asked rather impatiently.

"Why was your trail cut in two?"

Finally for the first time I had taken him aback, he straightened himself from the window looking sulky, "I don't know if the Cullens told you but you have a very obvious and obnoxious smell to you."

"Floral," I said without thinking, remembering all those times my smell had been commented on. I had always felt pride in the fact that my scent had been something Edward had actually liked about me so Gabe's comment left me feeling affronted, "What is wrong with that?"

"It is too noticeable, too penetrating," he explained dryly, "All the time I spent here, your scent clung to me like a miasma, and nothing I do will get it off me. I tried to wash it off and got new clothes but that didn't help."

I felt surprised at this new information but still managed to notice for the first time that he was in fact wearing different clothes. Charlie's old jeans and plaid shirt had been replaced by regular black trousers and a black button down shirt. A comment of going to a funeral was in the tip of my tongue but I kept it in check, there were more important things at hand.

"So you smell…like me?"

"And you smell like me."

I wrinkled my nose at that, smell like Gabe? Eww…

"We smell like each other but our own scent still remains so that we have the same combination of smell. We smell identical."

My eyes narrowed at him, he obviously was as grossed out by this as me, "So then what do we do? Do I take a shower too? Burn everything you ever touched? How do I get rid of it?"

"None of that will work," he retorted irritated, "This rarely happens, mostly because vampires never coexist with humans on a daily basis…and the smells have to really—_match_ with one another in order for them to merge this way. Only time will make it fade away."

"Time?" I snapped angrily, "Just how much time, genius? Enough time for more blood thirsty vampires to come and confuse me for you and kill Charlie off?"

He shrugged blandly, "Who knows, perhaps more."

That was the last straw; I was going to kill him. Instead of charging, though, I began to pick random things from the floor and chucking them at him. I began with the lamp and proceeded with books, CD cases and even the keyboard I had kicked, "You are a jerk!"

He deflected every single object smoothly, looking rather bored, "This is your entire fault if you think about it."

"Oh yeah?!" I screeched aiming low with a paper weight, but he just caught it in his hand, "How is it my fault?"

"If you had left me alone like I told you to nothing of this would have happened."

"Well guess what?" I screamed tossing an encyclopedia which he ducked for and actually broke the window and flying out into the night, "I don't regret _anything_, how do you like that? I don't regret helping you! I don't regret meeting Edward! I don't regret it! I would do it again! And again! And again!"

I emphasized my point by throwing at him a bottle of lotion, my pencil case and a protractor. To my surprise they all hit him square in the chest and bounced off, he hadn't avoided them.

"You are a fool," he replied stonily but he no longer looked bored but disconcerted. Like always, he exhausted me. I was completely out of breath and the anger seemed somewhat superficial now. I sighed and sat on the chair again covering my face with my hands. The tears I didn't want him to see spilled out without warning.

"Yes, you're right, I'm a fool," I agreed, my voice cracking, "Now Charlie is in danger and…and I smell like vampire."

"I don't smell as bad as you," was his grudging response but I wasn't paying attention. I had lifted my head when a sudden idea took a hold of me. It was the most obvious thing to do of course, there was no other way. I got up with a jolt and rushed out of my room rapidly. I went into Charlie's room which had been spared; apparently it hadn't smelt like Gabe in here for the tracker to bother. I opened his closet and searched for a frantic minute until I was able to extract a large empty canvas sack. Charlie would occasionally take it if he went out camping.

"What are you doing now?" Gabe asked coming after me but I passed him in a flash and returned back to my room.

"I'm getting out of here," I said over my shoulder.

"You are being ridiculous," he said standing on the doorway as I frantically picked up clothes from the ground I felt I might need.

"No, not ridiculous, rational," I said breathless. I had to hurry, Charlie could arrive any second. "If trackers are heading this way then I have to divert them, right? You can head back to Ontario or where ever you vampires vacation. I'll head the opposite direction, they'll leave Forks alone. Charlie will be safe."

"You are nothing but a weak girl," Gabe said with an air of stating the obvious, "How the hell will you survive?"

"I've been tracked before," I said conversationally rushing to the bathroom for my tooth brush and returning to the room in a flash. "It didn't go so well, but I'm still here aren't I?"

"What do you mean it didn't go so well?" he demanded angrily snatching the sack from my hands and gripping my forearm so that I would stop running around.

"It's a long story, alright?" I huffed shrugging him off and getting my sack back, "There isn't time for that, I have to be gone by the time Charlie gets here or else he will try to stop me. Last time I left him in a hurry was not something I want to repeat again."

My mind was reeling and I was going with it. I knew it was a very rash thing to do, to just leave like that especially when the house looked so horrible. Charlie would be frantic, he would probably call Renée and both would look for me near and far…but they wouldn't find me. Not until Gabe's smell faded, then I would return. I told this to Gabe but he burst my bubble completely as he hurried after me when I ran down the stairs.

"How are you going to know when my scent fades off you?" he called after me as I ran into the kitchen, almost tripping on the cord of the lost phone. "Your nose is no good; you would never be able to tell."

"As soon as the trackers stopped coming after me it would be a clue," I said grabbing a water bottle and an apple from the counter where it had been tossed from the fruit bowl. I hitched the sack on my shoulder and ran out the door. The door to the truck was still wide open but before I could get in a grip of steel got hold of my wrist yanking me back effortlessly.

"You will not survive the first tracker you idiot," Gabe growled taking the sack from me. "Don't do this, you are being stupid."

I stared up at his cold eyes and told the truth, "I don't care if I survive or not. I don't belong here Gabe, now I have a reason to go—a good reason. I'm keeping Charlie alive."

I extracted myself gently from his grip and got in my truck. I was about to close the door but he reached and pulled me out unceremoniously like a rag doll.

"Fine!" he seethed, his eye glowing dangerously in the dark. "Be an idiot, leave your family, ruin your life."

With that he took my sack, got a hold on my arm and started to walk off dragging me with him.

"What is it to you? Hey, let go of me!" I yelled hitting him on the shoulder with my fist.

He stopped and glared down at me. My reproaches died in my throat. His expression was one of utter fury and his bright eyes had gotten dark.

'_He is going to kill me,'_ I thought desperately.

"I'm going to keep you alive," he said softly but his eyes were twice as hard, "Taking you with me is the only form of payback I can offer you."

I stared up at him in stupefied silence, had I heard correctly? Payback?

"You…want to keep…me…alive?" I said slowly, wanting for it all to make sense. "I don't get it."

"I don't get it either," he snapped at me starting to walk again, this time I went along, still slightly disoriented, "You are an idiot human who will hold me back, not to mention annoy me to death."

"If you hate me so much, why take me with you?"

We had reached the edge where the forest began. It was pitch black; I shivered at the thought of going in there. He stopped and turned to me, clear dislike etched on every feature, "I will take you with me until the point where trackers won't bother anymore, then you are on your own, got that?"

I nodded numbly, unaware of what I was actually committing myself to.

"You say you don't regret helping me. Well, stay out of my way and do everything I tell you to, or else I'll make you wish you had never met a vampire in your life."

On that happy note he flung the sack on his shoulder and picked me up. I knew he was about to set off in a high speed run so I started to close my eyes but before they closed completely I got a glimpse of Charlie's approaching headlights. It was the last I saw of him.

**To make up for my horrible deed of leaving you guys hanging I, BlackWingy, shall update no later than next Friday…promise. Screw college applications for a week…my future can wait, you guys are more important.**


	7. Life Now

**A Promise is a promise, so here you have it people. An update in just a week. Be happy and merry. **

Life Now

"A witch…an eagle, no—a duck…" I mumbled incoherently to myself. There was a faint throb from loud music coming two floors below from where I was. It made the small rickety bed I was laying on pulse slightly. Police sirens were wailing somewhere in the streets, coming closer then just passing on. All this I ignored and continued my diligent study of the room's ceiling. The ceiling wasn't smooth but bumpy: popcorn ceiling, that's what it was called. I was in darkness but the faint sickly yellow street lights that managed to get past the dumpy Venetian blinds would make strange shadows form everywhere and make the ceiling look alive. Like clouds, I could make out shapes and creatures formed above me.

I couldn't remember how long this had been going on. Through out the day I had counted the number of cracks and water marks on the ceiling, after the sun had gone down, I had moved to popcorn ceiling figures…yeah, I was bored.

It was boring, but I didn't feel like getting up from the bed, I actually didn't feel like doing anything at all. I felt exhausted, sad, angry, and bored all at the same time. The combination made me quite lethargic.

Just how long ago I had left Forks on Gabe's shoulder was lost on me. All I could actually recall from the experience was being cold then arriving at this room. It had been odd. One moment I had seen Charlie pull up, the next I was freezing for a while then Gabe had set me down in front the door of the room. The cold had numbed me completely that my legs had unwillingly buckled beneath me. Gabe had carried me in room then left again, just like that. He was pretty good at that as I was finding out.

I had fought hard against my impulse of dashing out of the room to a phone and dialing Charlie. But what would I tell him? _"I'm so sorry dad, I wasn't kidnapped, really. How's the weather?"_

I sighed and felt my chest shudder from the workout I had given it for sobbing so hard a few hours ago. Now that I thought about it, I had made quite a melodramatic racket, no wonder Gabe had left in such a hurry.

Gabe…what if he didn't come back? I didn't know how good his word was after all, maybe he had just decided to bail on me. I really didn't know. The guy obviously hated my guts. Why would he want to keep me alive, to 'make it up to me'? He didn't seem like the type to bother with moralistic things like that.

I finally gave up my sulking and sat up. The bed's mattress springs made sad screeching sounds as I did so. I stared at the window and tried to screw up the courage to go to it.

I didn't want to look…but at the same time I could not _not_ look.

Life was complicated like that.

Before I could regret my choice I got the blinds' cord and pulled it up to see… another window.

"That was exciting," I muttered to myself getting closer to the glass to get a better view. There was an alley with two homeless men three stories down and my window had a fire escape. The building next door was taller but if I had gotten out onto the fire escape and stretched out my arm, I would've been able to knock at the window across, that's how close together everything was. This was definitely a city.

"Close the blinds," a deep voice rumbled in the small room. I let the cord go and the blinds went down with a snap.

I turned to Gabe who was taking off his plain dark coat and tossing it on the small bed, which now that I was up and seeing things clearly, realized that the bed was in fact just a medium sized cot. The door was closed; he hadn't made a sound opening or closing it, as if he had always been in the room. There was nothing else on the room except for the cot and a mahogany chair in the corner that looked like it would break down as soon as you sat on it.

"A man downstairs told me this is edible, I wouldn't know," he said carelessly tossing a white paper bag on top of his coat along with a bottle of water.

I blinked and looked up at him in wonder. He had actually remembered I ate…it was nice of him, it was considerate…it was just weird.

"So now you're the one feeding me?" I asked dryly reaching for the water bottle. My throat felt raw and dry but my appetite was nonexistent so I left the bag of mystery food untouched.

He ignored me, walked to the window and looked out through the blinds, after a minute of great vigilance at what I supposed were the extremely suspicious looking homeless men, Gabe backed off and properly closed the blinds, successfully shutting out any light. I was about to protest when there was a click and faint light filled the room.

There had been a light switch by the door; I had just been too lazy or careless to have noticed it. A full second later I wished he hadn't turned it on; the room was a hundred times worse than I had thought. The floor was of wood, faded and worn with time. The walls which I assumed had once been normal taupe looked positively grey with dirt. There were actual cracks running through them up to the ceiling. There was a small door in the corner I hadn't bothered to notice which probably led to the restroom…I didn't want to see that either.

"It's unbelievable this place actually has electricity," I muttered darkly under my breath sitting back down on the cot.

Gabe just sat on the floor and leaned on the cot without a word. I followed lead by sitting back on the cot and drank my water. For a while there was only the sound of the incoherent music downstairs and the occasional passing vehicles in the streets. The water soothed my throat and somehow calmed me down. It was only then when I realized I had been tensing my body ever since I had arrived here. With a sigh I relaxed my shoulders and winced at how tight they had been. Time passed in silence but I didn't mind.

He had come back, he hated me but he had come back. My brain screamed at me that I wasn't being rational but the truth was that since I had heard his voice I had felt like everything was fine. Everything was taken care of now that Gabriel was here.

"So what are we doing now?" I asked reluctant to break the silence but curiosity was getting the best of me.

"Now?" he turned to me, his green eyes darker than usual, "Now we wait."

I frowned, "You mean we just sit here and wait for the trackers to get us."

A curt nod was the only reply he gave. I shook my head and turned to my water. When it was done I had nothing to occupy my mouth with so I couldn't help it from blurting out, "You are hungry, aren't you?"

He didn't look at me but his shoulders visibly stiffened, "I will be fine…I have controlled the thirst for far too long. It is but a nuisance I can ignore now."

I looked at him skeptically and got up. I walked around the bed and sat down on the floor in front of him. He eyed me warily and slightly defiantly. His green eyes had definitely lost their glow; they were even loosing their eerie cat-likeness.

I sighed realizing he was lying to me, he wouldn't be fine, it would be a nuisance he wouldn't be able to ignore, "We'll have to find a butcher shop somewhere…or a meat factory of some sort. Where are we anyway, a hotel?"

"The less you know the better," he replied darkly turning his eyes away from my prying ones.

"If you think so," I replied doubtfully resting my chin on my folded knees, "Gabe?"

"It's Gabriel," he said glaring at me.

"Gabe, do you think Charlie is okay?"

His mouth snapped open, probably with a biting remark but maybe something in my eyes stopped him since he closed it for a moment then said, "He's fine…but very upset."

My chest felt tight and I sat up straighter, "How do you know that? Did you go back?"

Gabe looked at me with a blank stare then got up. He towered impossibly above me with his long legs, then walked to the window and looked out again, "I went back; Forks has already begun a search for you. It is suspected that the ones who vandalized your home also kidnapped you…at least that is the theory that they are going by. It's all over the news."

He left the window and finally turned to me, "If you want to call him I won't stop you."

I looked up at him and saw that he was blurry. Reaching up, I touched my face; fresh tears dampened my fingers, "No, if I hear his voice telling me to go back I…I'm not strong enough, I'll want to go back. It's better if I write to him and Renée instead."

"Okay."

It was a plain two syllable word but it made me feel better because he hadn't snapped it like usual. It had been soft and humane as if he truly understood, as if he really had said, _"It will be okay, everything will be okay."_

* * *

"Bella just take off your clothes."

"Pfft, you take off yours."

"Stop being so difficult."

"Well you stop being so pushy!"

Gabe cursed under his breath and pushed me to sit on the bed. I was about to sit up when he tossed something on my face that blocked out all the light.

"I'm not wearing that, it's hideous."

"Bella, it is not up for discussion, put it on,"

"No, I don't think I will, you wear it."

"I will personally put it on you if you don't"

"Ha!"

Only when he reached down to pull up my sweater did I realize he was being serious, "Fine! Okay, I'll put it on!" I danced out of his reach and rushed into the bathroom slamming the door behind me. "You are a pushover!" I yelled angrily at the closed door.

I took a deep breath and tried to count to ten.

Gabe had left again at night, telling me there were things he had to do. I had tried waiting up for him but I had been too exhausted I had managed to fall asleep without wanting to. When I had woken up the sun had been streaming in through the slightly open blinds and Gabe was extracting the ugliest dress from a plastic bag. It was a plain black tweed dress down to the knees with sleeves up to the elbow. I wouldn't have seen it out off place in a funeral…worn by an elderly woman.

Just as I had predicted, the bathroom had been no better. The sink faucets were broken. The toilet seat didn't have a _seat_ and as I was taking a hot shower, just when I began to feel its healing qualities take effect, the water turned ice cold. Whatever the case, I was not a happy camper as I emerged from the bathroom chilled, and wearing the abominable dress which had turned out to be at least two sizes bigger.

"I think my grandma used to have one just like this…and it smells funny.

Gabe had been sitting serenely on the floor like always. When I walked back in the room the baffling twitch on the corner of his lips occurred.

"Don't you laugh at me," I growled, tossing him my old clothes.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"So where did you get it?" I prodded, reaching for the white paper bag of food I had ignored last night. The mystery food turned out to be a sandwich of mystery meat and an apple which I took a bite off to keep myself from throwing it at him.

"A store of used clothes…Goodwill, I believe."

I choked on the apple but only took another bite.

He noticed my glare and I almost choked again as a small awkward smile of amusement played on his lips. "Since it's used, the smell of the previous owner will mask your odor, at least for a while until your smell penetrates it."

I nodded, not really processing what he had told me. He had smiled; the mean, jerk, soulless, sour vampire had _smiled._ Stop the presses; the world was coming to an end.

"Are we waiting again today?" I asked beginning on the sandwich.

"No, they are here already."

It was a miracle I managed to calmly chew and swallow without any choking. My heart had skipped a beat though and my hands began to shake, "They are here, as in the building _here_, or just close by?"

"Close by, they are keeping their distance for the moment, but it won't be long before they make their move.

"Bella, I am thirsty," he suddenly said. I turned to him in a flash, surprised he would even admit to such a thing. What was even odder was the way he was looking at me: serious and evasive. "There is a small butchery a few blocks from here. I was told they slaughter their animals in a back room there…will you go and get me some blood?"

I was about to say yes automatically but his eyes stopped me. They were darker but that didn't mask the true question in them.

It wasn't simple blood he wanted, what he was really asking of me was to go out and parade my odor around town, he wanted me to be bait so that they would 'make their move'.

"Go and get you blood?" I asked slowly, my mouth began to feel full of cotton.

He nodded slowly; he stood up and began to pace like a caged panther, "It is a clear day," he said emotionlessly, "I can't go out like that."

He stopped his pacing and stood facing away from me, "So, will you do it, it's not far."

I sat lost for words at what he was asking me to do, the sandwich slack on my hand. Charlie, Renée, Forks…I had left them all behind to protect them. Gabe had given me the chance to do so and still remain alive.

"_I'm going to keep you alive"_

He had said that, it hadn't been a promise but still…I was grateful. Now he was asking this of me…

I was only holding him back after all; he didn't have to have brought me along, a useless weak girl as he called me.

It was then when I realized that he was giving me a chance to prove him wrong. Prove him I could be useful, not some scared little human. Gabe wasn't here to be my personal body guard.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he said after my silence prolonged more than what was necessary.

"I'll go!" I said standing up rapidly, the sandwich and apple core cascading to the floor.

Gabe went to the window and leaned on the pane but I don't think he was looking out, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'll go, I will,"

Gabe walked towards me, we stood before each other, he looking gravely down at me and I looked up at him with a pale face and glittering eyes.

I could do this, I would do this.

"I will make all the monsters come out of their corners; you will take it from there, right?"

_You won't leave me behind, you will protect me…_

Gabe looked down at me with his stony glare and I doubted for a second…two seconds…but then he reached beyond me and picked his coat and draped it around me like a big cloak, "Right."

* * *

The day was clear and sunny but that didn't diminish the fact that it was winter already. There was a biting chill that clung to every bit of exposed flesh. My bare legs were covered in goose bumps and my face felt frozen in place but all of this I ignored. I rushed down the empty street; it wasn't a very good neighborhood by the looks of it. Mostly convenience stores with dirty doors and display windows lined the streets. Liquor corner stores were quite famous as well. Dirty, unshaved men would hang about them, toasting their beers at me. The memory of a similar empty street with three despicable men came to my mind which made me break on a run until I had reached the next block.

Gabe had said he would be with me the entire time. Either he meant he would be with me in spirit or he was literally lurking in every shadow or alley I passed by; my nerves were cracking so I really hoped it was the latter. Looking down at the paper with the address Gabe had given me I realized I had passed already so I had to backtrack half a block. I ended up before a sick display of hanging sausage chains and grey looking hams. With a crinkled nose and gag reflex I entered. The smell took me back to the Forks slaughter house. A small bell rang by the door when it shut behind me. I walked up to the counter which no one was attending and waited. The place looked like every normal butcher shop with glass displays showing off from raw stakes to a dead pig's head. I tried to breathe through my mouth and promised myself I would lead a vegetarian life as long as I wouldn't have to step into another place like this ever again.

After a while I grew impatient, no one would come to attend me… Then again, there wasn't a soul to be seen as far as I could tell. The only sound was of a radio far off in a back room playing a low jazz melody.

"Excuse me!" I called out while looking back at the window. I honestly expected for glowing vampires to suddenly show up behind me. Yet it was improbable, as Gabe had told me they weren't stupid enough to walk in broad daylight.

After which I began to feel quite good about, maybe I wouldn't be used as bait after all.

"Hello, can somebody attend me!" I yelled at the open door that led to their back room: there was no response. I began to wonder if I could just let myself in and just find the blood back there, how mad could they get? It wasn't like I wouldn't leave them money…

Just as I was about to go back there a blonde man with a sharp chin and pale face walked out of the door wearing a white blood-stained apron. I couldn't look away from the apron, it was so repulsive…yeah, the idea of eating tofu was very appealing to me at the moment.

"How can I help you miss?" he asked coming from behind the counter.

"Oh, um, I know this might sound odd," I began, cursing myself that I hadn't thought of a good excuse before hand, "I was wondering if you had any um, uh—pigs' blood. I-I need it for this project at school and um…"

I trailed off as my eyes wandered to the dead pig's head behind the glass.

"I'm sorry miss, we ran out."

I blinked and looked up at him, surprised he hadn't asked me any funny questions.

"Oh, okay, you ran…out?"

Red, his eyes were blood red, I hadn't noticed because I had been looking at his apron instead. My breath caught painfully in my throat and I took an involuntary step back as the vampire stood there placidly smiling at me.

"I drank it all," another voice behind me said. I screeched and turned rapidly around. There was another vampire—the same vampire. No, I turned back and the other was still in place, they were twins.

"Sorry, we didn't think of sharing with you," the one by the counter said.

"Yeah, the owner was especially good so we couldn't stop ourselves to leave you some, sorry," the one behind me said in mock frankness. Their voices, just like their faces were identical so I kept hearing the same voice coming from the different directions, it was unnerving.

"So where is he?" the one behind me asked just as placid as his brother. Both looked extremely calm and collected, as if we were old friends discussing the weather.

"Where's who?" I asked stupidly. I had tried edging towards the door but had ended up cornered against the glass display with the dead pig head instead.

"Gabriel, of course," the one by the display replied amiably, "We have been waiting to see that old dog for ages, haven't we Andre?"

"Yes Daniel, it has been far too long since we last saw our dear friend Gabriel," Andre replied taking a step towards me, "So tell us child, where is he?"

My mouth opened to reply…I don't know what but I blinked and the next thing the twins or I knew, Andre had been thrown head first into the display next to me. Shards of glass flew everywhere and a gust of wind hit my face.

Gabe pulled back Andre from the wreck by the back of his neck but then Daniel came in a flash and attacked Gabe in the back. Their struggle was ferocious and I was but only two feet from it all.

They moved suddenly towards me and somebody's arm gently grazed my stomach. It was only a graze but they did have super strength after all.

I slammed painfully against the display and fell on all fours completely winded. It felt like I someone had fully sucker punched me. I coughed and was about to cover my mouth when I looked at my hand. A sizable shard of glass was embedded on my palm from the fall. As I stared at it blood began to seep out…then there was complete silence.

I looked up.

It would've been a funny picture…that with Gabe holding both twins by their throats and them staring down at me stupidly.

It could've been funny…but it wasn't.

The hunger in their eyes made it not funny…the terrible hunger in Gabe's eyes made it terrifying.

**Wowzers...there you have it people, don't forget to review!**


	8. Sleep

**Hello my lovelies! Sorry for the late update but it was intentional this time. I mean, it's the holidays after all, gimme a break. Anyhow, I have spent the past weeks just eating pumpkin pie and watching Avatar...If I could make a living out of it I would be set for life but whatever. I hope this little chapter is to your liking...well, it's not that little but I hope you guys like it nonetheless. **

Sleep

I couldn't breathe; every bone and muscle in my body burned red hot. My head pounded along with the frantic beating of my heart and I was becoming unsure as how to put one foot in front of the other since the world seemed to be spinning from lack of air.

After a while I just gave up the struggle and stopped running. My legs shook unsteadily and I was wheezing and gasping painfully. To gain my balance I clutched at the nearest wall I could reach. Faint voices from far away asked me if I was okay in varying degree of octaves.

_"Girl, are you alright?"_

_"Is someone chasing you?"_

_"Look…she's bleeding…"_

_"Should we call the cops?"_

The word 'cops' made my head snap up even though white blinking lights kept flashing before my eyes. I prayed I wouldn't pass out as I struggled to make out the words that I was fine, there was no need for the police to come into it. Someone grabbed my elbow and I shrieked out of their grasp in terror.

"It's fine miss, there's a bench right over there. I'll lead you to it okay?" a man with salt and pepper colored hair was standing a few feet away from me with his palms up in the air probably to keep me from panicking again. He had laugh wrinkles on his eyes and corner of the mouths, his light blue eyes were kind…he reminded me of Charlie.

"O-okay," I managed to croak.

He gave me a small encouraging smile and gently took me by the arm and steered me to a park bench a few yards away. Only then did I take a notice of my surroundings. I had reached a park square where there were leafless trees and white benches. Across the street from it was a small shopping strip with outside vendors and such. The day which had started so sunny earlier, had turned overcast promising snow. As if I had resurfaced from deep waters, the outside world sound turned up in my ears with a pop. Cars passed, kids laughed, women shopping and walking by gossiped. It seemed like a nice town, nothing like where the butcher shop or hotel had been. Just how far had I ran?

"Your hand is bleeding," the man told me, slowly sitting next to me on the bench and taking out a tissue from his pocket.

"There's a piece of glass stuck there," another man standing by with a walking stick pointed out.

"It doesn't look like it's in too deep," another person added; a girl older than me with a blonde ponytail.

"What happened to you sweetie? Who did this to you?" the kind man asked, leaning down his head so that he could get a clearer view of my downcast face.

"I—who?" I stammered in confusion as he took my bleeding hand and studied it. Before I knew it he had pricked off the glass and pressed firmly on the cut with the tissue, I didn't even feel it.

"It wasn't that deep," he said while extracting another new tissue.

"Who did this to you?" the girl with the ponytail asked scooting down so that I wouldn't have to look up at her. "Were they strangers from the streets? Your boyfriend perhaps?"

I shook my head numbly, beginning to get feeling back into my body now that I could breathe, "It's just a cut…I fell."

"You fell pretty good," the man with the cane said rudely, "You have cuts and scrapes all over you, you're pretty clumsy girl."

"Don't tell her that!" the girl snapped angrily, then she turned against to me, and asked again gently, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

I looked at her then at the other two men wondering that myself. What had happened? I closed my eyes and tried to remember, the memory came quicker and more willing than I had anticipated it would, it left me breathless brought tears to my eyes. A sob escaped my throat and then I couldn't stop.

"You made her cry," the cane-man pointed out unnecessarily.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she gasped patting my knee.

"You remembered what happened didn't you?"

I buried my crying face on my tissue-sodden hand and wept. Yes I remembered.

I remembered how the blood had began to seep around the glass…the dead silence that had followed.

It had been like a horror movie played in slow motion—literally.

Andre and Daniel had both frozen in Gabe's grasp and looked down at me with hungry looks but what I had been concentrating was Gabe. Like the twins he had frozen completely and his attention had turned completely to the emerging liquid from my hand.

Shock and fear had ridden me immobile so I didn't do anything as soon as they began to move. But they moved so painfully slow, as if they were predators who did not want to scare their prey. Gabe began by letting the twins go and he himself crouched slightly like a panther about to pounce. His eyes had darkened slightly as I had been looking at him and his nostrils flared as he inhaled the smell of my blood.

Once disengaged from Gabe, the twins had gotten into similar positions with identical gleeful smiles.

"Just like the old time, eh Gabriel?" Andre said, taking a deep breath, "Ah, we thought she smelled just like you but this is the real thing…yummy."

"We'll share with you dear Gabriel…," Daniel hissed in Gabe's ear, "For old time's sake."

_Old time's sake?_

Then I had wondered and realized that they probably knew Gabe and he them…

I looked up at Gabe again but he wouldn't look at me, only my hand. He was going to kill me, him along with the maniac twins.

'_Look at me! Look at me! You don't want to do this!'_ I wanted to yell but my voice wouldn't work. This was going to be my last day on earth…I had to do _something_.

"Gabe," I managed to whisper through my fright.

And he looked.

There was a nanosecond of time in which our eyes met and the Gabriel I knew came forth. Then he pounced on me.

A fraction of a second later the twins pounced as well but they weren't as lucky.

Gabe had jumped on top of me just in time and shielded me with his entire body. He had his arms on my sides and his broad chest protected my smaller, crouched body.

I could hear a hard thump, like a bat being hit against a concrete floor but then I realized that those were just the twins beating on Gabe's back. His face was inches from mine so I was unable to miss his expression of pain.

"I'll hold them," he grunted to me, then yelled out in pain as a particularly vicious kick was aimed at his ribs. We were so close, I could see the pupils in his eyes, the irises, the desperation in them as well. "Run when you can."

"You'll be alone," I whispered frantically, feeling to the near of hysteria,

"_Just go, dammit_," he replied through gritted teeth.

All I felt was a gust of air on my face, then the twins let yells of pain. I was lifted into the air by the arm and before I knew it I had been tossed out the door. I had flown to the sidewalk and landed on my knees. My brain hadn't even begun to register the pain of it before I began to run.

I ran, like always. I ran and ran until I couldn't take it anymore and wanted to collapse but I kept running because I could, because it had been what I had been told to do. It was the only thing I was good at.

As I had run through streets and alleys I never really saw, I wondered why it was that I had to be this weak. Why did I always have to be the one running, never the one doing the protecting?

Charlie, Edward, the Cullens…now Gabe…they had all protected poor defenseless Bella from the big ugly world and its ugly monsters.

Now as I sat on the park bench with the cold seeping through my thin coat and surrounded by strangers who wanted to protect me, I never felt so pathetic and cowardly.

I had left Gabe behind, it was true that if I had stayed I wouldn't have been of any help but I had just abandoned him. Two against one, what were the odds? I had seen him take on a vampire before, but never two.

The wound on my palm had stopped bleeding but the man still kept dabbing at it gently. While I saw this kind gesture I felt sick at myself. I couldn't be this selfish, I just couldn't. Being taken care of while Gabe was in pain somewhere, possibly dead…

"I have to go," I abruptly stood up, making all of them jump up.

"You can't go like that, we have to call your family," the man said with honest concern, handing me the soiled tissue.

"Yes, don't go," the girl urged, "We won't ask anymore questions, let us help you."

I shook my head but stopped, the motion made me dizzy, "I have to go…I think my friend needs my help."

I turned to go, wondering how in the world I would be able to back track to the shop since I hadn't noticed where I had been going to begin with.

"Pfft, that one over there looks worse than you do, kids these days," the old man with the cane grumbled gesturing over my shoulder.

"Oh my god!" the girl gasped covering her mouth in shock.

I turned faster than my dizzy body was able to and got a head rush. Once it was over I could see Gabe coming towards us definitely looking a little too worse for wear. It was good the day had become overcast because his plain button-down shirt had been torn off to the side exposing a good amount of chest and shoulder. Even in the distance I could still make out angry red scratches running from his chest to neck. There was faint dust on his clothes and dark hair. The worse part was flecks of blood on his face and chest. He looked like a car crash survivor.

It sure was a pretty picture he made, walking calm and collected through the park amid normal pedestrians and children. People gasped and turned to point but he was too intimidating, no one dared to even offer him help.

"Is he the one who hurt you?" the girl gushed, her eyes getting wide with shock. I ignored her and began to walk towards him. No one tried to stop me, not even the blue-eyed man.

He was alive, he was fine, everything was fine now…

My brain screamed this over and over until I couldn't take it anymore and I broke into a run. I ran into him and threw my arms around his chest, sobbing. It would have been painful, like running onto a brick wall but he staggered back slightly. I was happy he was alive, the only person I could rely on. But I was also ashamed, so ashamed at just having left him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I kept crying, burying my face on his stone cold chest.

"Bella…" he said stiffly. I sniffled and looked up at him. His face was averted to the side and his jaw was clenching with some unknown exertion. "Your blood is still fresh,"

"Oh, yeah, sorry," I said automatically letting him go and stepping back. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he looked more in control.

"Next time you jump at me like that, give me a warning," he said dully, pulling the torn part of his shirt to cover his shoulder.

"You look awful," I told him cheerfully, wiping my face with my sleeves.

"Yeah, and you are quite the beauty queen," he replied scathingly.

"Young man, what happened to you? Should we call the cops?" the man who had helped me came over. He was looking concernedly at me then at Gabe.

"We're fine, there's no need for that," I said hurriedly, "Thank you so much for your help."

"Are you sure, maybe I could call your parents?" he asked laying a hand on my shoulder.

"She said there is no need," Gabe retorted, pulling me away from the man's reach rather sharply. "Lets go Bella."

I threw the man an apologetic look and let Gabe drag me away. People stared at us and made way automatically. It was probably because of the way we looked or the "Get-out-of-my-way-before-I-pound-you" vibe Gabe was giving off…probably both.

"I'm glad you're alive Gabe," I told him as we rounded of into a deserted alley that contained only boxes and trash cans.

"Good for you," was his monotonous reply before he picked me up to run but then my body, feeling completely safe, finally gave out and I passed out.

* * *

When I woke up there was no more exhaustion, pain or cold. I did feel groggy and slightly sore but other than that, life was peachy. I sat up slowly and looked at my surroundings. It appeared to be a normal hotel room, but unlike the last dumpy room I had woken up in, this one was a hundred times cleaner and more modern looking. There was even a small kitchenette to the side and a couch. I marveled at the amazing improvement for a second before looking off to the side of the bed where Gabe's head was hovering. He was seated on the floor as always, looking through a phone book.

"You know, there is a couch over there…or you could just sit on the bed," I said offhandedly pushing away the thick bed cover from my legs. Both of my knees had thick bandages on them, I turned to my hand to see a band aid on it too. I blinked, had he done this?

"Couches are uncomfortable," he muttered distractedly flipping through the pages, "And you were sleeping on the bed…"

"Gabe, did you put on the bandages? What about your thirst?"

"I told you I could handle it," he stood up and sat on the edge of the bed with his back to me.

He didn't say anything else, only sat in silence staring at the opposite wall. I sighed, his mood swings were exhausting, but at least he was here. It was better when he was around rather when he just went off for hours on end without a reason.

"Are you alright?" I asked him warily after a while. I half expected him to turn and snap at me for breaking his concentration or something but what he did next shocked me completely. He did turn to me but he brushed his fingers over his hair in a surprisingly human show of frustration.

"I'm tired," he said angrily, tossing the book off to the side and standing up. For a wild second my heart fluttered in fear that he might direct his anger at me but instead he walked off to the other side of the room and then walked back, looking angrier. "I can't keep living like this! Why can't they just leave me alone? When will I be left in peace?"

I was at loss for words. For the first time Gabe was expressing real emotion, he was showing he was not made completely made out of stone but it didn't give me any satisfaction to see him be upset. He was angry…and desperate. Ever since he had protected me in the butcher shop I had seen it in his eyes. A desperation of being cornered and followed, never having peace of mind.

"If there is a bounty for your head," I began slowly, "you will never be left alone."

Gabe turned to me and snapped his mouth open to yell something at me but instead he closed his eyes and composed himself. The old emotionless Gabe took control and went to go pick the phone book.

"Gabe…what did you do?" I asked softly, so softly I thought he hadn't heard me but he walked back and sat next to me. He looked at the floor with glazed eyes. "Why does your own kind hunt you?"

There was a far-off look to his eyes and he didn't respond. He did look tired, his eyes were a dark green and his wavy hair slacked about his pale face. Now, having him as close as he was, I realized that despite his anti-social antics, he was the most human-like vampire I had ever met. There was no intimidating breath-taking beauty about him like there had been with Edward and the other Cullens. They had always been so flawless, like immortal statues of perfection. Their movements had been graceful and full of agility, their demeanors calm and pacifying… Gabe was nothing like that. Not to say he wasn't incredibly handsome but he was far from an immortal statue of perfection. His movements were more stiff and full of held-back strength. His attitude was far from calm let alone pacifying. I supposed that the main difference was that he just didn't care as the Cullens had. He didn't care about how society or just the world at large viewed him. As long as he was 'left alone' everything was fine for him. He was a complex man, and it was giving me migraines trying to figure him out.

Not to mention the fact that he was a mean, careless, pigheaded, sarcastic jerk.

"I am not a good person," he said suddenly, breaking my reverie, "I've never been. I have killed more people than you can imagine through the centuries and never felt any remorse…it was just my nature. I don't make any excuses, I don't ask for forgiveness. Vampires like to be alone but when I was born into this, I was brought up by a coven of elders. We did what we pleased, went where we wanted, took _whom _we wanted, there were no rules. What did I do…I grew resentful."

"Resentful?" I repeated my voice cracking. His words were making my blood run cold but I couldn't stop listening.

Gabe turned to me, his eyes haunted and dark, "You are young, too young to know what it means to be immortal."

I opened my mouth to reproach but realized that he was absolutely right, I had no idea what he was going through, "I don't know—tell me."

Shaking his head Gabe got down from the bed and let himself sink onto the floor. Feeling like he was about to stop talking I hurriedly got down and scooted next to him.

"It made me so angry," he said in a hushed tone turning to me, as if confiding a deep dark secret, "Who the hell did they think they were to do this to me? I had never wanted to live forever, even after I became this I never enjoyed it. All I wanted—all I want Bella is to sleep.

"So I killed him."

I looked at him taken aback. His tone had changed utterly in the blink of an eye, just like the topic of conversation. He was angry again and his eyes burned the carpeted floor with the intense murderous intent that scared me witless coming from him.

"Who did you kill Gabe?" I asked softly almost whispering.

"My revered maker," he spat, "Just like I hadn't been given the choice to remain alive, I didn't give him the choice either."

My head swirled with his words and my chest contracted with the mixed emotions of fleeing and staying, "But how would that have made anything better?" I asked wondering if I was missing a key point to his reasoning.

He turned to me and gave me a sad smile that didn't reach his eyes, "It didn't... I wasn't thinking, I was too angry and frustrated all I wanted was revenge. I wanted for that bastard to feel the misery he had put me in but it only ended by making everything worse.

"Even vampires have laws we have to live by," he said resuming his dry and tired tone of voice, "It is frowned upon when you kill another vampire but no one generally cares. Except for the elders, they are supposed to be respected and feared. They're untouchable."

"So you are being hunted for killing your master, which happened to be an elder." I summarized feeling a sense of relief that the mystery had been solved. I would be able to sleep tonight.

Gabe gave a short bark of a laugh that contained no humor in it, "Not exactly. After I killed him I left but they sent their brownnosing messengers after me to let me know I had to attend a hearing before the elders so that my punishment would be decided.

"I was tired, my revenge hadn't been as satisfying as I had hoped. All I wanted was to be left alone so when those messengers kept arriving to tell me what I had to do and where to go I lost my temper."

"You killed them too," I translated helpfully.

"Yes, it got to the point where another elder came to drag me back personally."

I sighed and sat next to him, feeling like I knew where this was going, "Let me guess, you killed him too. Why can't you just get along with others Gabe?"

"After that the elders didn't send messengers anymore, just mercenaries and trackers. They didn't have to take me back, my head was good enough. The elders took it very personal. They made it a wide known fact that I was a wanted man worth killing. I haven't had a moment's peace since then."

Several months living with the guy and I didn't doubt a single fact of his enthralling tale, he was pigheaded enough for me to see him doing everything he had just

said. This still didn't explain why he had been in the Cullen's home to begin with, covered in guck and starved to death, but I figured it wouldn't do any good to pry further for the moment.

"Well," I said after a pause, "at least I know now, it's better than not knowing."

He gave a slight grunt in reply and rested his chin on his long knees and resumed his favorite pastime of brooding. I rolled my eyes and patted his hand saying offhandedly, "I guess we are in this mess because you have anger management issues. It's okay Gabe, anybody can act like a hotheaded idiot and make mistakes, it's only human."

Gabe turned and gave me a quelling look which only made me grin innocently in response, "Oh, that's right, you aren't human…I forgot."

"Everything went to hell today because _you_ are the human," he spat pointing at me and jabbing me sharply on the arm. "You had to go and get yourself cut, I could have killed you."

"But you didn't," I replied rubbing my hurt arm and snatching his finger tightly, "Besides, you said my smell is too nasty for you. And don't point, it's rude."

"I was thirsty," he said exasperated.

"Well, it's good you have such great self control right?" I said brightly clasping his hand good naturedly in both of mine melodramatically, "I believe in you Gabe."

Gabe stared at me obviously at loss to what to say. At the end he just let his shoulders sag in a look of defeat, "You just don't get it Bella."

"Get what?"

Turning to me so that we were face to face Gabe said slowly as if I was mentally damaged, "I—am—a—vampire."

I cocked my head to the side not really understanding to what he was trying to say, "Yeah…so?"

"What—I don't…are you stupid?" he spluttered in annoyance.

"No!" I snapped defensively, "You're a vampire. That has been established already, what's your point?"

"My point is," he said through gritted teeth, "that your smell has _never _been nasty for me at all. Self control is a damn understatement; I could kill you right now."

I was speechless and my heart skipped a beat in forgotten fear…Gabe thought I smelled tasty…I gulped, "Okay, I get your point a little bit."

"Finally some sense!" he exclaimed glaring at me. I nodded feeling faint at the very idea that he found me appetizing. Nice people don't wish to drink other nice people.

After a moment of silence in which I had just stared at him alertly to see if he would go for my jugular, Gabe looked down at my lap. I looked down too and saw that I was still holding his hand loosely. In detached wonder I realized that it was the first time I had touched him for an extended period of time without him reacting as if I had leprosy. I looked up quickly speculating when he would snatch it back in disgust but he didn't. Instead he rested his head on his knees and looked down passively at his hand in mine and said rather wryly "You are very warm."

I laughed and rested my head against the bed, "That is the nicest thing you have ever said to me."

He gave me one of those awkward grins I knew were rarely seen by any mortal or immortal eyes and closed his eyes. With all the obvious exhaustion and exertion he had gone through, if he had been human, he would have fallen asleep in the very spot. I remembered his words "_All I wanted—all I want Bella is to sleep." _

_'He's so tired of just living,'_ I realized sadly staring at his resting face and closed eyes. I too closed my eyes and with a surge of pity I gripped his hand stronger with the both of mine, willing for my warmth to be good enough for the both of us.

* * *

When I woke in the morning I was once again on the bed again with the covers on me. There was light streaming from the window where the curtains had been pushed open. As I sat up and yawned my eyes fell on yet another hideous dress that belonged in a fire pyre rather than anywhere else. It was a plain beige dress with pearl-like buttons going down from an almost turtleneck collar with long sleeves of worn lace and the hem beyond the knees. The only good thing about it was the fact that it was just my size. There was also a long black nondescript coat that was thicker for the harsh winter. I sighed in resignation and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

I had removed my bandages to see my knees and nearly blanched in repulsion. The impact I had taken hadn't broken skin but just barely. There were two large purple nearly red bruises that looked like they would begin to bleed profusely if they were touched slightly. I remembered Gabe confessing last night his appetite for my blood and panicked. As fast as I could I jumped under the shower in case I would start bleeding all over. Once done I hurriedly dried and put on new bandages.

"Your fashion sense sucks," I told Gabe an hour later as he entered the room removing his coat. I held up my arms wide for him to see, he raised his eyebrows at it and shrugged, "I didn't pick it I just asked the man at the cashier to get me something for an average girl…though I must say you look quite charming."

I scowled but couldn't manage to stay angry at him for long. His eyes had lightened with humor as he had looked at me, something totally new from the irritation and contempt I knew were mostly associated to me. Maybe he was thawing from the inside, or maybe he was finally growing used to me enough to be himself. Whatever the case, it made me glad to the point where I considered we could actually manage to be friends at some point.

Still resolute to remain sulky of my clothes I fingered the lacy fabric on my arms and silently cursed the cashier under my breath. After a while I blinked and looked up at him realizing something.

Gabe had fed at some point; his eyes were back to their inhuman color. I hoped fervently he had fed on stray dogs.

"I didn't bring you anything to eat," Gabe said over his shoulder as he got my old torn old-lady dress and put it in a large garbage bag along with his torn shirt, "You can eat in the airport."

"Airport?" I gasped, vindictive thoughts of the dress soon forgotten. "Where are we going?"

Gabe reached to his coat and extracted a passport and tossing it to me, "We can't use your real one, your parents are still using the media and law enforcement to find you. I had to look all night for someone who looked like you."

I opened it to see a pale girl with brown hair and a nice smile, "I guess…Camille Williams…looks a _little_ like me," I mussed blandly, "Where are we going Gabe?"

"Prague," was his short reply.

The ball that had begun to form in my throat at the mention of Charlie and Renée made me choke, "P-Prague? Why in the world are we going there?"

Gabe finally turned and handed me my coat not quite looking at me in the eye, "I think yesterday proved that you are no better off with me than without me, so it would be better for us to separate for good."

My hand instinctively went to my throat, I really felt like I was choking now, "You are sending me off alone to Prague?"

"No, I am going with you."

"Then, what do you mean we are separating?" I demanded.

Gabe went over to the curtain, his hands and face sparkling breathtakingly until he shut them close, "I found out from certain sources that the Cullens are in Prague at the moment. I'll take you to Carlisle and ask for him to protect you until my scent wears off. He is the type to care for humans and you said he was your friend right?"

He turned to me expectantly but all I could do was gape. Cullens…Carlisle…be with them again. My head was spinning and I couldn't breath. I would see him again, I would see Edward.

"You'll be safe there Bella," Gabe said looking down at me with his sage green eyes. "With the Cullens."

**My christmas presents were slightly dissappointing...you know what would make it all up? If you wonderful jolly people reviewed, that would be nice. It would be a hundred times better than socks, that's for sure.**


	9. Prague

**Writers block are mean little bastards, let me tell you. Anyhow, I finally managed to complete this awesome chapter. It is a little bit longer to make up for the long update. Though it is quite long, there isn't poinless stuff like an endless description of a setting sun...its jam packed with action, drama and romance! Bwahaha...actually, not really but it still is pretty eventful. Oh, and since I didn't bother with much touristy description, if you really want to visualize what Prague is like you can YouTube the video Silver and Cold by AFI, it was shot in Prague. The song is cool and the video purrty sad but give it a look if you want.**

* * *

Prague

_'Maybe if I run away…get lost in the crowd,'_ I thought idly tugging the raisins from my cinnamon raisin bagel. As it turns out, Gabe had decided to return to Toronto, Ontario after our little rendezvous with the psycho twins. That was where the hotel we had been on had been located. Here at least, he claimed, the news of my disappearance weren't as widespread in the news. There was a smaller probability of anybody recognizing me for Isabella Swan, than sweet looking Camille Williams.

Now we were in the airport and even though I had lived in a largely populated city with a vast airport, I was still intimidated. The metal chair I was sitting in the small airport café squeaked as I squirmed restlessly on it. People were passing in hordes to and fro, it would have been easy for me to just loose myself among them like I had in Phoenix not months ago. The only problem was dear old Gabe who was taking his role of "keeping me alive" too seriously. I knew that when he wasn't looking at me directly I was definitely present in his peripheral vision. And the fact that he was a six foot or more tall man, gorgeous to the point of stupidity and with luminous green eyes that if you weren't prepared for would take your breath away by simply resting on you for a fraction of a second, didn't help my situation either. People seemed to be unable _not_ to stare at him, then as a second thought to me, his small plain side companion. How in the world was I to slip away if people, namely women, kept their eyes on our table like hungry vultures? How, I ask you?

"I have to go to the restroom," I told him hesitantly after a while, taking a deep breath to pluck up my courage to leave him…and not look back.

"You can go in the airplane," he replied understatedly while giving a quick glance at the large digital clock on the far side of the airport.

"Uh, I have to go now," I replied, my voice cracking as I nervously tore a napkin into small shreds.

"Bella…"

"Yeah?" I said clearing my throat and starting at another napkin.

"Look at me," he ordered, his voice coming through sharply and deep even though we were surrounded by a buzz of talking and laughing people.

"I don't—I don't want to," I spluttered without meaning to, the napkin was shredded to smithereens and I didn't have a third one. My hands went restlessly to my lap, not knowing what to do with them now.

"You don't want to look at me?" he questioned low and clipped.

"No, why would I want to look at you?" I snapped reaching for my uneaten bagel and beginning to tear that, "There are dozens of women, _dozens_ that are looking at you right now if you haven't noticed. Why can't you just be happy with that?!"

"What is wrong with you?" he asked impatiently tearing the bread mush from my shaking fingers.

"I just want to go to the bathroom!" I said in near hysterics, "And you aren't letting me Gabe! Why aren't you letting me?"

It was then when the tears began and I couldn't stop them. The only dignifying thing about it was that they were silent tears, I had managed to stop any possible sounds or sobs.

He got up and left the table, for a wild moment I thought he had finally left me, not to return but return he did—with a handful of napkins. I got one but forced myself to dry my face and eyes before beginning to shred that one too.

"Is this about your parents?" he asked in a low voice saturated with forced patience scooting his chair next to me to get a better look at my face, "I said you could call them."

"No, I just want to go to the bathroom," I replied through gritted teeth, suddenly angry.

He was silent for a moment in which he just sat back in his chair, crossed his arms and just stared at me, "I said you could go later."

"I don't want to go later, later is too late!"

My hands formed into fists, finally tired of tearing random things. I was so angry at him, angrier than I had ever been before. Why the hell couldn't he just let me go? Why did he have to be such a jerk and keep me here...force me to go to…

"Tell me what this really is about and I just might let you go," he said looking at the clock again. "Boarding will begin soon."

"I don't want to!" I nearly shrieked

To give the poor guy credit, he didn't even blink at my outburst and simply gave me his no nonsense cold stare until it finally broke me, "I don't want to…go."

"You do not want to go to Prague or to the Cullens," he summarized without further elaboration on my part. It made me forget my anger for a second and just blink in amazement at the fact that he had guessed so precisely.

I shook my head and kept crying silently as he just sat there, staring at the shredded napkins with his emotionless, blank face. Seconds passed, then minutes and nothing came from the vampire. He just sat there like a stone without a care in the world.

"You are still taking me to Prague," I then realized in horror, my tears freezing on my face.

"I'm still taking you to Prague," he nodded.

"I hate you."

"And I surprisingly don't care."

* * *

When the plane landed in Prague the pilot had announced in English as well as in German, Czech and French that it was December 28 and four o'clock in the afternoon. All thoughts of Edward were brushed from my mind momentarily and I felt the blood drain from my face. 

"What is it now?" Gabe grumbled impatiently, shoving the magazine on the side of his seat.

"I—I forgot about Christmas," I stammered forgetting about my resolution of not speaking to him, or not crying for that matter, "I missed Christmas with Charlie."

People were rushing unsuccessfully down the aisle to leave the confinement and recycled air of hours. Gabe gave a slight grunt and pushed me out onto the aisle to proceed with everybody else, "What do you care? It's just a stupid pagan holiday."

I gave him a dirty look and resumed the silent treatment, at least for a while until we exited the surprisingly crowded airport.

"It's completely dark," I mused to myself looking at an overcast sky and the lack of sun that gave the semblance of early night.

"The sun sets around four thirty," Gabe said distractedly looking around for something. "I guess that is why Carlisle came here over winter."

"Yeah, I guess," I mumbled, feeling apprehensive and jumpy.

Edward was here, somewhere. A mile away, perhaps two, who knew? What would he say, how would he react? The idea of him reproaching me for coming at all mortified me.

"There's a taxi over there," Gabe's voice made me jump, especially when he grabbed my upper arm in a vise grip and steered me to a quaint looking taxi.

Now that I thought about it, looking at my surroundings, everything looked pretty quaint. From the cobbled streets to the wasted looking buildings. If I hadn't been so distraught I probably would have enjoyed all the sight seeing around me but I wasn't in the mood…and it was dark so it wasn't like I could see a whole lot. After Gabe gave a short command to the driver in German, the taxi took off and we rode in silence. It was freezing in the enclosed space. I couldn't feel my fingers and my bare legs were cold beyond the point of goosebumps but I really didn't care. I could have been getting hypothermia or frost bite and it would not have matter. Every block the rickety taxi overrode, it brought me closer to him.

When the taxi came to a stop, my heart seemed to stop along with it. This was it, what I had wanted all along and what I dreaded more than anything. My legs moved and arm opened the door to follow Gabe as he had gotten out but I couldn't feel myself actually doing it. He led me through a narrow street and to a door with a dim light on in the outside. He let himself in without a knock and proceeded through a short warm hallway to a counter.

"One room please," he said in clear English to a young woman behind the counter. The woman gaped at him for half a minute before being able to hand him a short form to fill. All the while I was gaping openly myself. A hotel! We were in a hotel…why couldn't he have just said so in the first place?

"I thought we were going to the Cullens," I hissed at him by his elbow as he wrote on the counter. The woman, probably on her late twenties and with overly treated blond hair was giving me a critical look as if to say _You_ are with_ Him_?

"I don't know where they are," he said while returning the form to the woman in exchange for a brass key with a number twelve on it.

He walked away to a set of stairs on the side but I stayed rooted on the spot flabbergasted. Only the woman's insulting looks made me rush after him.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I snapped hurrying after him as we reached a carpeted landing.

"I mean I don't know," was his short reply. We reached an oak door with a brass twelve on it and went in. The light was not too bright but it didn't matter because there wasn't much to the room anyways. A simple single bed with a mahogany headboard occupied most of the room. A small loveseat stood by an oval window with antique-looking curtains. I fumed silently as Gabe moved about the room inspecting as he always did before going to check out the window and close the curtains shut. He finally turned to me after he noticed my drilling eyes, "Prague is a big place, all I knew was that they were here."

"Well, you could have told me you didn't know to begin with!" I replied angrily.

His usually cold eyes gave to scrutinizing me so fully that it began to make me uncomfortable and made my anger go away, "Stop staring, it's rude."

"I thought you didn't want to go to Carlisle, but now you do?"

"Yes!" I blinked at my very answer and tried to backtrack, "I mean no, I don't."

"You either do or you don't, make up your mind!" he barked impatiently.

"I don't! I want to leave this place, I don't want to see the Cullens!" I almost shouted. "I don't want to be protected, I just want to leave!"

"That is too bad," he retorted acidly, "but I don't care what you want. Taking you to the Cullens is the only way for you to stay alive."

My nails dug painful half-moons into my palms and I could feel myself growing desperate, "The Cullens won't want to protect me, it's no use."

That silenced him for a moment before settling himself on the loveseat and studying me. "What happened between you and the Cullens? Ever since I met you I have known your relationship with them was odd but I actually never cared about it."

"Oh, and now you do?" I said sarcastically to mask the panic I felt as he got closer to the mark. Could I tell him? Did I have it in me to bare my heart to this apparently heartless vampire?

The answer was Yes, I could tell him. I knew I had grown strong enough to retell everything that had happened between Edward and me, but I still hesitated. Gabe wouldn't care, he would probably mock me instead. The great probability of having him sneer at my idiocy of believing someone like Edward could love me was something I couldn't face. So instead I glared at him, "They just left, nothing happened. I just don't want to go to them, can't you get that?"

"No," he got up and stood before me with his arms crossed, the very posture of a man not backing out, "but like I said, it doesn't matter. You are still going to them; I don't want you with me."

The words rang loud and clear in my ears for what seemed an eternity. And just like that I saw red.

I had always heard from people the phrase 'seeing red' when someone was extremely angry or upset but I had never gotten any sense from it until now. I wasn't even certain why I was suddenly so angry at him; all I knew was that I wanted to pound him.

"You are a heartless monster, you know that?" I yelled heatedly, "It is no wonder you are alone. Even if you didn't want to be alone, I'm sure no one would want to be with you!"

In the dim light of the old lights his inhuman eyes flashed dangerously, "The same thing can be said about you girl, you are unbearable."

"Well, I might be unbearable but at least I am not bitter to the bone," I spat back; suddenly hurt he was calling me girl again.

"Even if I am bitter, it is better than being a selfish brat," was his cold reply.

"I am not selfish!"

With a few long strides he had advanced at me menacingly so that I slammed slightly against the door as I had instinctively backed from him.

"You _are_ selfish, all you think about is about what you want, what you need. You say you care for your father? If you really had, you would have never let me get as close as I did. You did it all for you, we are in this situation because of you and your idiotic ways. Now I am here, in a disgusting city I hate just to keep you alive and yet it is not good enough for you," he slammed his hand on the door with a loud bang making me jump in fright and pinning me against the door at the same time. "I am tired of this, I just despise your kind, it makes me sick."

I looked up at his angry face, looking down at mine and with all the strength my anger could award me, I pushed him away. It caught him by surprise so that he actually stumbled backwards a few steps.

"Then just leave this disgusting city! If I am so selfish and idiotic, then just leave! That is what you want, right?" by this time I was screaming and I could feel cool tears run down my flushed face. I was loosing it but I didn't care.

Gabe just glowered at me with unmistaken antipathy, "Right."

Yet he didn't make any move to leave but I couldn't stand it, being in the same room with someone who hated me so completely.

"You know what? Let me be _self-less_ for once and be the one to leave you alone. It is the least I can do after all, you won't have to see me again," the sly sarcasm in my voice was weak even to my ears but I was good to my word. I went out the door, slammed it behind me and rushed down the steps. When my feet touched the outside street I broke out into a run. He didn't come after me.

* * *

I wandered down the old cobbled streets half angry half afraid a few hours later. Night had settled and the rational part of my brain screamed at me to swallow my pride and return to Gabe. The other made me brace myself against the bitter cold and keep stubbornly onward. Gabe despised me that was that. There was no going back. 

As I wandered aimlessly through the pitch black, freezing city streets of Prague I felt the initial anger and resentment begin to fade away. Guilt and regret took their place instead. I began to cringe at the memory of the things I had told him, many of which I hadn't even meant. Then I realized something odd. His outburst, the ugly words he had attacked me with had been no different from all those other times he had done before. So what had changed for his words to actually anger and hurt me so much as they had? Before I could have blinked that entire scene away and not care…

No, the question was not "what", but "when".

_When_ did I begin to care what he thought of me? _When_ did I begin to wish I could find the secret to making him smile again? _When_ did I decide I could only feel safe if he was with me? These questions raced through my head, they led me to the epiphany that stopped me dead in my tracks with shock.

I _liked_ him!

I actually liked that rude, irritating vampire. The answer was so simple I felt downright stupid for not having realized it before. A disconcerting giggle escaped me as I turned back to head for the hotel but I hadn't taken five steps before his words stopped me again, _"I just despise your kind, it makes me sick."_

"I make him sick," I mused out loud to myself. Thankfully nobody was around to notice the lunatic American girl that paced randomly and talked to herself. Charlie would be so proud…

Okay, so what to do now? I had left, slammed the door behind me even and vowed to never see him again, hmm… If I had known back then I didn't hate him as much as he hated me, I would have just settled with leaving to the bathroom and vowing to never speak to him again—or until I felt like it. But it was all for the worse now, that I knew. It didn't matter if I liked him or not. I had left and he hadn't stopped me. We were to go our different ways, he was probably so relieved to be rid of me at the moment, he was probably laughing hysterically in the room at that very moment…well, that was not likely. Gabe wasn't capable of laughter, maybe chuckle…or a small 'ha-ha'.

"Not helping," I muttered darkly to myself while trying to keep my teeth from their continual chatter. Sighing I settled myself on the front steps of a closed pub. The coldness of the concrete made me gasp but I soon grew numb. I no longer cried either there was no point for it. Poor, pathetic Bella, crying whenever something went wrong; I seriously sickened myself. No wonder Gabe felt the way he did, I was idiotic and useless. Not to mention selfish…

For a change, I tried to think of what to do next—by myself. There was no more Gabe to tell me what to do, no more home where I could go and seclude myself. I thought of maybe calling Charlie and Renée, it would be easy for them to wire me money for a return ticket home. Then again, I didn't want to go back, I couldn't go back. I was on my own now, without proper clothes, money or a place to spend the night. Not to mention all the trackers following my yummy scent…

"Vampires!" I gasped standing up in horrified shock. That with having Edward in my head and now the fight with Gabe I had forgotten completely about them. In the dark, all alone they became an all too real threat. Paranoia took over me so that every moving shadow looked like a demented monster aiming for my jugular. It occurred to me it would be better to be in a public place better than an abandoned street so I hurried in search of people.

Except there didn't seem to be any.

It was an overcast, moonless night and the street lights that were on were few and too dim to give comfort. I broke into a run in search of population but Prague seemed like the city of the dead. I knew it had gotten late but it wasn't like people had bedtimes…or did they? I didn't know much about European customs to be too sure. The streets began to appear like stone mazes that refused to show me an escape route. After what seemed ages I emerged on a slightly crowded street full of young people around my age and tourists. They were much too preoccupied with walking leisurely hand in hand, or as leisurely as the freezing weather would allow. There were small restaurants, closed stores and even two or three open cafés. I made my way into one of them but even though the sudden warmth that struck me was extremely inviting it became clear that the place was already full and even a little too crowded. The soft murmur of individual conversations in exotic accents was everywhere. Occasional loud laughter was heard sometimes pipe through the sedated conversations, soft classical music played in the background.

After a quick scan of the room I realized there were no vacant spot for me to sit or even stand so I headed quickly to the restroom to not be noticed. I closed the door behind me and locked it, extremely grateful it was a single restroom. The ornamental, oval mirror over an old pewter faucet showed me at my worse. My hair was a ball of frizz I tried to improve by running my fingers over. I had been crying in the hotel a good few hours ago so any traces of tears had long disappeared; my eyes weren't even red, they just looked glazed and hollow. My face was just pale with cold and it seemed more drawn and tired than before. When was the last time I had had actual good sleep and peace of mind? I tried to think and all I could come up with was that interval time of calm Gabe and I had in which he was listening to me sleep in the closet. I had had peace then…

Everything was so messed up now. My life was turning out to be one big pile of—whatever. What sort of outcome could I truly expect? I could find a job as a waitress or dishwasher, anything than just staying out in the streets. I would definitely die that way, if the vampires didn't get me first that is.

After a last look to make sure I was presentable enough I exited the bathroom with a plan in mind of looking for someone who knew English and could help me somewhat. When I opened the door I almost ran into a very tall brunette girl who was waiting just by the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I mumbled automatically.

"It's okay," she said in perfect English. I blinked, amazed at my complete luck of completing a phase in my plan so quickly.

"I've been waiting for a while," she said archly.

"I'm really sorry," I repeated abashed, "Um, do you happen to be American?"

"American…yes, I suppose I am," her grin became a bit more pronounced and meaningful as if she was remembering a personal joke. For a moment I wondered if she was making fun of me but I realized I was still covering the entrance to the restroom and moved hastily so that she could go in. I decided to wait until she had gotten back from the restroom to ask her for her help, she seemed nice enough but when I walked back to the room I realized she had followed me. I turned to her in time to see another girl hurriedly enter the restroom.

"Didn't you have to go?" I asked puzzled.

"No," was her plain reply.

"But you said you had been waiting for a while," I insisted annoyed on her behalf that the other girl had gotten in so quickly when it obviously hadn't been her turn.

"Yes, but I had been waiting for you."

I did feel my chest contract a bit but to give myself a little bit of credit, this new development didn't even make me blink. It was as if I had been expecting it in the back of my mind all along. My paranoia had not been pointless…I hate it when I'm right.

"For how long have you been waiting?" I asked as composedly as I could.

"A while," she replied, her smile widened enough to expose one of her pointed canines. "I had been told the prodigious Gabriel was tall, a man…and _dead_."

I gave what I thought was an unconcerned shrug that probably came out as an involuntary twitch in my edginess, "Yeah, well that goes to show how much people can be mistaken, right?"

"So you are not denying it?" she asked smoothly, grabbing me by the left wrist gently despite me jumping a foot in the air at her touch which was unsurprisingly cold.

"No, no I don't, I'm Gabriel, you found me," I prattled distractedly as I tried to get my hand back but her grip, though gentle, felt like it was made out of steel.

Her eyes were skeptical but her smile was unforgiving, it was the smile of a happy predator that had finally caught its prey. "You _will _come with me calmly, I assume?" she leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I would just _hate_ to have to kill all these people just for being innocent witnesses."

My blood turned to ice as I looked around at the peaceful scene before me. The people conversed happily and innocently among themselves. The vampire and I were not the only two standing up so we really weren't attracting much attention. She pulled me towards the door chuckling in a self-satisfied sort of way. I recoiled but refused to do a scene in the midst of such a peacefully populated place so I kept myself from struggling as she half-pulled half-dragged me along.

Why were all vampires so obviously demented? I mean, seriously. James, Victoria, the man Gabe strangled to death, then there were those charming twins and now this girl who was strolling unconcernedly and humming—I kid you, not—_humming_ as she lugged me to…somewhere. Did human blood make them sociopaths? Or maybe their moms didn't hug them enough as children.

These thoughts were what rushed through my mind, other than that my head was in a total blank. There was no fear, shock or even terror; it was just kind of empty. This all changed as we made a turn into an empty street with absolutely no lights or people. The windows that were on the buildings were either broken or boarded up. Dread finally made its appearance and my survival instinct kicked in. I began to struggle frantically in her grasp. Though it was a situation that merited terror on my part, all I could feel was desperation and anger; desperation at the knowledge that I was about to die and anger at the fact that I was too stupid and weak to prevent it.

"Let-me-go!" I grunted as I dug my heels on the stone ground but it was no use, she just kept on dragging me like a child.

"Don't make this complicated Gabe, darling," she said offhandedly over her shoulder.

"It's _Gabriel_, you witch!" I bellowed and aimed a kick at the back of her knees which made them buckle. Her grip on me was so strong she dragged me along to the floor when she fell. I landed on my right side, the hard ground knocking the air out of me and bruising my shoulder.

"Don't call me that!" she said furiously, getting up. With brute super strength she gripped my wrist fiercely and in a fraction of a second there was a loud crack but before I could feel the pain, she had tossed me forcefully away like one would toss a frizz bee. I felt myself litteraly fly and with a violent thud landed on my left side, bruising and probably dislocating that shoulder as well.

For a second I was unable to breathe but then I gasped and the pain hit like an abrupt wave. There were white and neon green bursts of light in my vision. My wrist felt like a red hot iron poker had stabbed it and both of my shoulders throbbed incessantly. I rolled on the ground clutching my broken wrist, trying to remember how to breathe properly.

"I can't believe I had to go for all that trouble to get to you," the vampire said in a whinnying sort of voice, "You are nothing special."

"_Story of my life_," I replied incoherently through gritted teeth.

Her high heeled boots made clear cutting taps on the stone as she began to approach me to finish it off. With only but will power I raised myself to my knees, clutching my wrist to my chest. I refused to face her on the floor like a coward. I tried to stand up but I almost lost my balance.

My vision had returned so I could see her plain, white face floating towards me. With her ice cold fingers she reached for my face. I didn't shrink back from her touch anymore, there was no use. Neither did I close my eyes; I still had too much pride for that. Thankfully she didn't seem the type to draw things out, so it would probably be fast if she hadn't taken too much offense on being called a witch.

Suddenly she looked up like a cat that had heard something far off.

"Dammit, they are coming," she grumbled straightening up and doing a complete three-sixty turn to view her surroundings, "I don't have time for this, they'll get me if I stay."

She gave me a reproachful look and said, "Ugh, and I really spent a lot of time looking for you, you know? All for nothing, what a waste."

With that regretful tone she turned and ran off. I stared after her still kneeling, all pain forgotten. Was she coming back? Was this my very own personal Christmas Miracle? I got unsteadily to my feet wondering at my luck. My very first encounter with an immortal killer that hadn't ended with me being saved by anybody else, and all I had to show for it was a broken wrist and beat up shoulders…not bad for a day's survival. I staggered a few steps before I heard steps again. She was back!

No…there was more than one person walking in my direction. My heart rose, maybe it was people, they would help me.

I was about to call out when they rounded the corner towards me.

"We told you to leave the city," a clear female voice rang in the darkness. There was no mistaking the menace in her tone. As three figures approached striding somewhat languidly I could make out that the female, owner of the voice, was of slight figure with bouncing curly hair.

"I guess she needs a little more _physical_ encouragement, don't you think Sable?" another deep voice emerged, sounding amused but no less threatening. It came from a large burly man.

I licked my chapped lips and felt like I was about to pass out. When I had fallen, had I hit my head? I couldn't remember but either I had damaged my brain…or I had just heard Emmet Cullen's deep voice threaten me.

"Two warnings should have been more than enough, don't you think Bernice?" a low, smooth voice added, coming from the third advancing figure.

Or maybe the vampire had really killed me after all and I had gone to heaven…

I knew that voice. The voice! So much like velvet, more beautiful than I could recall; the precious memories I had retained didn't give it justice. I knew the silhouette of his figure…God, I even knew the feeling of his very presence. Tears I hadn't managed to shed in those previous months of agony and despair of loosing him began to trickle silently. He was here, like I had wished, like I had feared. My chest swelled with everything I wanted to tell him. How much I had missed him, how much I still completely and utterly loved him. But pain, shock and happiness had left me wordless. My throat refused to even croak a single syllable.

"Let's have some fun Bernice," Emmett said laughingly stopping only a couple of yards away. I looked at him straight in the face and struggled to see him in the dark. Vampire night vision was a hundred times better than humans so it was only seconds before he gasped backing off in shock, "What the—! Edward!"

He emerged from behind Emmett and I finally got to see those eyes I had only been able to see in my dreams lately. They widened in astonishment. A torrent of emotions passed through them and I could only cringe at what he was seeing: a raggedy, beaten crying girl with a hideous dress, dirty coat, messed up hair and a wrist that was not angled right.

So much for looking "fabulous" when encountering an ex.

As for him…even in darkness he was perfect, beauty incarnate. I almost stopped breathing again. My memory suddenly seemed faulty because nothing in my head could possibly compare to the real thing.

"Bella…is it really you?" he said, his voice sounding oddly strangled.

I wanted to respond, run up and hold him but my body seemed to have forgotten how to work along with my voice. All I could do was stand there sobbing silently, and stare at him. He took a hesitant step towards me, his hand extended…

"Who's that?" the girl Emmett had called Sable asked in a low voice except that she turned to look down the street, it wasn't me she was referring to.

A shadow was coming smoothly and speedily, it stopped a small distance away and moved menacingly about, a pair of glowing eyes flashed dangerously with fury and blood thirst.

Sable crouched in a pose of prepared defense, Emmett and Edward did the same but both took protective stations in front of me. All of their faces were tense and strained with the prospect of an unexpected fight. Both Emmett and Edward bared their teeth, if they had been cats their fur would have been standing on edge.

The figure came lithely closer, bringing an atmosphere of radiating wrath with it. The murderous intent was unmistakable, especially when it came from such bright green eyes.

His appearance brought me to my senses. I could feel the weakness in my legs and the shuddering of my body that had nothing to do with the cold. My happiness and shock was clouded by sudden alarm. Gabe had come back for me, after all the horrible things that had been said, he was here and furious by the looks of it.

"_He thinks they attacked me,"_ I realized in consternation.

"Whatever you want, go get it somewhere else," Edward spat while Emmett edged on slightly, clearly pumped up for a fight.

Now, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out Gabe was grossly outnumbered. I had seen of what he was capable of but I had also seen Edward and Emmett in action—he didn't stand a chance.

"Do you want to go? Then go," Emmett taunted, starting to go forward. Before anybody else had a chance to react I reached out and grabbed a handful of Emmett's coat and pulled back feebly. Of course he was like a rock that didn't move but it served to propel me forward. Everybody was too surprised to stop me as I staggered to him like a toddler first beginning to walk. Half way to my destination my legs gave out but Gabe was there in a second and caught me.

There was a sudden rough movement in which Gabe held me protectively to his side, the girl Sable called out for Edward and Emmett gave an angry yell. I looked up to see Edward raised a couple of feet by the throat, Gabe's favorite vise grip.

"Stop it Gabe," I ordered weakly attempting to pull Gabe's hand off from Edward's neck. And for the first time I could recall, Gabe obeyed me. Edward didn't fall pathetically to the ground before Gabe like many others had, but backed off immediately.

They both squared of with one another, eyeing each other with a killing contempt.

"Gabe, these are the Cullens," I told him hurriedly from his side. "They weren't the ones who hurt me."

Gabe gave up the glaring contest to look down at me then back at them. There was a moment of complete confusion and tension but he finally relaxed his hold on me and stopped looking like he wanted to kill somebody.

"Bella, what is going on?" Emmett asked guardedly.

Edward looked at me likewise then at Gabe, "Who is he?"

I opened my mouth to reply but then Gabe took off his coat and draped it on my shoulders while saying to me idly, "_These_ are the Cullens? I thought they would be less pathetic."

I shut my eyes to keep them from rolling, good old Gabe…you could always count on him to make friends easy.

Edward put a hand forward to keep a furious Emmett from pouncing while he himself eyed Gabe with open dislike.

"Gabe, can't you keep your comments to yourself?" I whispered warily.

Insolently without bothering to keep his voice down, "Why, do you think I hurt their feelings?"

This was not a good beginning.

* * *

**Oh yeah! The Cullens have finally made their appearance! It took me a while, huh? ****Can anybody believe it actually took me six hours to finish this baby? I had written a little less than half when I got the infamous block...Anywhos yo, review, review my darlings. Tell me _everything_ that is in your minds!!!**

**Hmm...well, not everything, there's some real weirdo pervs out there.**


	10. Explanations

**Damn, this is the longest chapter yet. I know I have taken more than a month to update for which I apologize. My inspiration will leave me after an update but as soon as people start messaging me a month later, I realize there is somebody actually out in the world who like this thing so that makes my muses come out. I wanted to rewrite this all over again, but I don't know, you guys are the critics after all. Penny for your thoughts.**

* * *

Explanations

"So, you be American, ja?" the nice German nurse tried to converse with me. After a few ill looks from Gabe and tired nods on my part she gave up and proceeded to take my temperature and other vitals. We were in a small examination room of a clinic that happened to be open quite late at night, but I figured that was only because Carlisle worked there…and it wasn't like he slept anyways.

Edward and Emmett had directed us here right away to treat my injuries which were greater than I had anticipated. The pain had settled so intensely I had been grinding my teeth furiously to keep from screaming and clutching Gabe's hand until my knuckles had turned white like a woman in labor.

"When the hell is Carlisle going to come?" Gabe snapped at the girl Sable who was standing by the door eyeing us cautiously.

"He will be here soon," she said growing somewhat tense at being addressed directly by Gabe whom I was sure she considered extremely dangerous.

Both Edward and Emmett had left, Edward had gone for Carlisle while Emmett had given me an encouraging smile and had said he would go get Esme right away. Yet both had given Gabe equal distrusting looks and had settled Sable to watch him which just added to my mortifying situation as well to my inadequacy. I knew I was pretty plain and messy compared to—anybody, but she looked like a goddess. She actually could be said to rival Edward's looks. Her hair was a mass of long, glossy red curls that seemed to slightly bounce with life every time she moved. Like all vampires her face was pale but there was still a sort of softness and youth freshness to it. Everything else was highly complimented by a pair of bright, friendly hazel eyes.

"_I need an extreme makeover_," I thought gloomily glancing at her through all the pain.

"Bella!" Carlisle rushed into the room breaking my sad train of thought. His eyes widened in recognition as they settled on Gabe. For one wild moment I thought a flash of fear had passed through his eyes but then it was gone to be replaced by concern which made me think I had only imagined it.

"When Edward told me you were here, I couldn't believe it," he said, getting my oddly twisted wrist and prodding as gently as he could without making me cry out. But when he carefully tried to lift my arm my shriek of agony was so sudden and loud Gabe actually made a move as if to attack him but caught himself in time, partly because I had pulled his hand and because Edward and Sable had taken threatening steps forward.

"It's fine," Carlisle assured them softly but that didn't calm them or make them back off. Gabe composed himself and ignored them.

"Before we x-ray and cast your wrist I have to relocate your shoulder," he continued soothingly as if nothing had happened.

"It is fine, just do it," I managed to say shortly.

And he did…and I passed out.

When I came to, I could hear Esme's kind voice in the room. A cool hand was brushing away strands of hair from my hot, clammy face.

"Why is she here?"

"That is what we would all like to know…"

I winced at the yellow neon lights above me and tried to sit up but somebody pushed me back gently.

"Just rest Bella," Carlisle urged but I fought against the stupor and opened my eyes. Instead of the exam room I had been installed in a regular room. My left hand felt heavy and I saw it had already been put in a cast. How long had I been out of it?

Standing by my side like a straight statue and looking rather bored was Gabe. If he had been capable of it, I was positive he would've been yawning. Carlisle had gone to the doorway and was giving the old nurse instructions in flawless, smooth German. On my other side Esme had settled herself on a chair with Edward right behind her. Emmett and the beautiful stranger Sable were in the corner eyeing Gabe like dutiful watchdogs.

After a while silence settled awkwardly in the room. I felt like a frog specimen floating in a jar as they all turned their eyes at me except for Emmett and Gabe who had began a staring contest.

Carlisle returned and began to listen to my heartbeat but by the tightness of his mouth and seriousness in his eyes I knew questions were underway and I panicked.

"So-so where's Alice? I asked looking around as if Alice, being so small and thin was hiding herself under my bed, "And Jasper?"

For some reason Edward's face darkened and he glared accusingly at Gabe but made no reply.

"They both left abroad," Esme answered avoiding my eyes.

"They went to Forks because Alice had a vision of Forks going crazy thinking you were kidnapped," Emmett said bluntly, not looking away from Gabe.

The silence settled like an unwelcome miasma, multiplied by my overwhelming feeling of guilt. I could feel my face grow hot under their eyes but I couldn't make any reply.

"What happened Bella? Why are you suddenly here?" Esme asked hesitantly, "Did…did you follow us?"

In an instant my blush disappeared and I could feel myself paling at the mortification especially after Edward had turned his head sharply to the side as if not wanting to look at me. This is what I had feared, this very topic. Had I left my home in search of Edward? Had I been pathetic enough to beg after he who had claimed he didn't want to be with me?

"No, she didn't want to come," Gabe thankfully answered, miraculously giving up his little game with Emmett and turning to Carlisle. "There are bounty trackers after us I thought she would be safer with you."

"Bounty trackers?" Edward breathed incredulously.

Emmett gave a low impressed whistle, "Gotta hand it to you Bella, you sure know how to get yourself killed the right way."

"Emmett!" Esme exclaimed disapprovingly, she had grown pale with concern as well.

"I take it we are missing a great portion of the story," Carlisle said directing his suddenly severe eyes at Gabe.

"There isn't much to tell," Gabe said carelessly, "we are just being followed, period."

"Just like that?" Edward growled furiously.

"Just like that," Gabe's simple uninterested tone would've made any other person jump at him but Edward stood his ground and just stared him down.

"Bella, please give us an explanation," Esme implored staring at me with such caring eyes that I felt myself melt in my resolve; I just couldn't deny her. I felt the entire story, from beginning to end bubble up in my chest when Gabe suddenly snapped, "Stop that, it's annoying the hell out of me."

Everyone looked at him indignantly, including me, why was he yelling at Esme?

But Gabe wasn't looking at Esme but at Edward who looked somewhat shocked.

"You won't get anything so stop trying," Gabe said glaring at him.

Edward's anger radiated out of him but Carlisle put a discreet but firm hand on his shoulders, "Gabriel is an old acquaintance of mine," he said for the benefit of everyone else in the room, "He is much older than me Edward."

Though his tone was one of simple pleasantness of passing simple information I could sense the hidden meaning in it of _"he is much stronger than me… and you"._

"You can't read his thoughts Edward?" the girl Sable asked in surprise, coming forward from the corner and taking hold of his hand loosely, looking up concernedly at his face.

If a train had passed over me, followed by a stampede of elephants and a punch right on the middle, I wouldn't have been more in pain and out of breath as I became after seeing that single action. She had gone to hold his hand, not even Esme had done that. I had to look away and make myself stay together. I thanked the heavens and Alice's deceiving visions that she and Jasper weren't here, they would've been able to see through me in a second.

Edward hadn't answered but his silent anger had been more than enough answer.

I looked up at Gabe in wonder who in turn looked down at me suddenly in stiff alarm that my poor feeble human mind was probably no match for Edward's gift.

"He can't read mine either," I assured him in a low voice, avoiding his eyes in case he could notice the emotions that were boiling inside of me.

The whole reunion was wearing me out. Edward was here, right by my side holding the hand of another and all I wanted was to jump from the bed and throw myself at him while at the same time I wanted to run away or just hide under the covers. The pain was gaining on me slowly. Did he care? Did he want me gone? I couldn't even make up the courage to look him straight in the face without the possibility of falling apart.

"This is a very complicated situation Bella," Carlisle said, "We do need an explanation, you know that don't you?"

I nodded feeling like a scolded child.

"Fine," Gabe interposed, "but not now, let her rest."

"Then you tell us what happened," Emmett challenged.

"But that would require for me to talk and for you to listen and understand. That requires a brain, are you sure you are up for that muscle head?"

Emmett's lip curled but a single warning look from Carlisle was enough to make him keep his ground.

"Gabe, can't you be nice?" I asked him exasperated. He gave me a blank look as if he couldn't comprehend what I was asking of him. "Okay then, if you don't have anything good to say then don't talk at all."

He thought about it for a second then gave me a brisk nod and stayed quiet.

I rolled my eyes and turned to Esme, "I really am sorry about everything. I didn't want to come and bother you but Gabe can be very…persuasive on some things."

Esme gave a polite nod as if to understand perfectly while looking at Gabe and turning to me asked, "So, how did you two meet? Carlisle never told me about Gabe here."

"Gabriel," I said hurriedly as soon as Gabe's mouth opened probably with another smartass remark for Esme.

"What?" she asked confused at his reaction.

"He—he hates being called Gabe," I explained suddenly having an overwhelming inclination to scratch my cast wrist.

"Oh…but you call him that," she pointed out still confused, "Why?"

I looked at her and blinked nonplussed, still scratching my wrist, "Because he hates it…why else?"

"Oh…"

"Bella is such a breath of fresh air," Gabe said snidely under his breath.

I ignored him and turned to Carlisle, "I will tell you everything you want to know, it is only fair."

Carlisle nodded but faltered, "Alright, but not now. Gabriel is right in saying you need to rest but not here. If bounty trackers are really after you then it would be better to transfer you to our home right away. Like that we will be in familiar territory and more able to protect you."

With that said, thirty minutes later in the darkness of night I was led to a long black Mercedes parked in the street. Like the president I seemed to have my own guards who kept looking over their shoulders and down the street for a possible assassin. Personally, I thought it was all rather unnecessary seeing as how it was really Gabe they were after but they knew what they were doing so I stayed silent. Esme got with me in the back along with Gabe who looked pretty disgusted at the fact that as vampires they drove when they could just run at top speed. Carlisle went on the wheel and Emmett got on the passenger side. I didn't know whether to be upset or relieved that I had lost Edward out of my view but there was no use dwelling upon it as we drove on in silence. If I did, I would clearly remember Sable had been the one to accompany him in the second car. It felt like he was somehow avoiding me…avoiding to look at me directly, talk to me directly. Even be in the same room; he had rushed to get Carlisle even though Sable had offered to go first. And now he didn't want to be in the same car with me. It was like he had a scalpel in his power that sliced clean and deep cut after cut into me with everything he did.

The pain was so acute, it made my eyes water and heart start. With every mile that passed by my heart would race a little more. Emmett looked quickly back at me and Carlisle's eyes appeared at the rearview mirror to look quizzically at me. Even Esme looked puzzled and gripped my hand in what I was sure she thought a reassuring gesture. I guess that in the enclosed space with their super hearing my heart was like a bass drum to them, which was pretty embarrassing but whatever. Gabe gave me a quick look too but said nothing. He did allow me to grasp his cold hand for which I was thankful. In the darkness I held on to it for dear life.

"So it's true, you are in Prague," were Rosalie's first words to me as I stepped over the threshold of a large refined manor. It had been located a few miles outside the city limits with forestry and large gates that promised nothing but privacy. A black sleek corvette came to a screeching halt right behind the Mercedes as we had all gotten out. Edward had emerged from the driver's side with the girl Sable. The thought of the crazy way he had probably driven here like he used to made me want to smile but I didn't, everything was too painful: emotionally and physically.

* * *

"Did you get the rooms ready?" Esme asked Rosalie quietly while steering me in from the cold.

"Yes, and I called Alice like you told me," Rosalie replied giving me and Gabe a detached up and down look.

"Well?" Carlisle prodded as he filed in after Sable, Edward and Emmett.

"She didn't answer, Jasper didn't either, but I left them a message."

Esme led me to a long staircase while saying, "I'll take you to your room Bella so that you can rest. Tomorrow we will have more than enough time to talk."

I halted in the middle of the stairs and looked back. Emmett and Carlisle were in a heated whispering debate with Rosalie. Edward was looking up at me and I felt my breath falter like every other time when he would mesmerize me with his radiant ocher eyes. The memories were still there…the feelings…the sensations…all there and they threatened to swallow me whole. There was a strain in his face and pain in his eyes—was he feeling the same things as me?

'_You're not good for me Bella…'_

'_Of course I'll always love you…in a way…'_

'_I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human…'_

I was the first to look away in anguish of his last words to me and shame of him to see the sudden tears welling in my eyes; of course he didn't care. He was the one that had left after all.

"Gabriel, we prepared a room for you as well," Esme said back to Gabe who had been standing in the landing, "I know you don't need it but I'm sure you want time by yourself."

Esme was kind and very amiable she could make any person feel at ease. Gabe was no exception since he followed after us and gave her a polite nod, something I hadn't ever seen from him.

She directed us along a long hallway and pointed out a room at him which he went to without another word and locked himself in. My room was not unlike the hotel had been but it was roomier and no dust could be detected. Esme helped me into a pair of new pajamas she said had been given to her as a gift by one of Carlisle's patients, of course they didn't know she had no use for them. I was grateful she didn't pursue in questioning me. Instead she lifted the covers and actually tucked me in like a mother would.

"I'm so glad you are okay Bella," she said softly, tucking back my messy hair, "We really missed you."

With those words she parted and left me in darkness and complete silence. _We_? What had she meant by that? Who were _We_? Carlisle, Alice and her? Or maybe, did it include…

Restlessly I threw off the covers from me and sat on the bed. There was no sound, not even the creeks an old house would usually have, the hoot of an outside bird or slight night breeze; nothing. It unnerved me. They were all probably downstairs discussing me trying to make sense of it all, but how could they? Especially when I couldn't make sense of my own circumstances to begin with?

I looked around the strange pitch black room and felt a sudden loneliness grip me.

I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes but after a few minutes I couldn't even begin to doze off. There were too many memories and thoughts rushing through my head; I couldn't make any sense of them myself. The complete emptiness of the room made my palms sweaty and my face feel clammy, the complete darkness and silence weren't helping either.

"This is stupid," I finally muttered riled and got out of bed. As softly as I could, hoping their great hearing wouldn't pick it up I went out into the long hallway and went to Gabe's door. I thought he had locked it but when turning the knob it gave easily in. His light was on so I could see our rooms were very alike and that he was by the window looking out at the overcast night. I shut the door behind me and got into the bed without a word. After I had drawn up the covers to my chin and settled my cast hand comfortably to my side I could finally feel the sense of familiarity of his presence grab a hold, and begin to sooth me to sleep. It was no wonder I had felt restless; Gabe had watched over me as I had slept for the past couple of months, his absence had been a disconcerting change.

Just as the drowsy stupor began to settle I heard Gabe's smooth steps on the carpeted floor and a sharp click of the lamp as he turned it off. Opening my eyes narrowly I saw him take a seat right beside me on the floor. Only his bowed head was visible in the darkness but I was glad.

"I don't like them," his voice suddenly disrupted the silence.

"I'm not surprised," I said sleepily.

"But…they will protect you. They care about you."

"They're good people," I managed to mumble back.

"I can finally leave you…" his voice sounded stiff and distant.

Sleep was claiming me but I had the sense to realize he could leave—leave anytime he wanted, without saying a word like he was wont to do. With my functioning hand I lazily reached in the darkness, gripped his lengthy hair and asked half-awake half-asleep, "You won't go without telling me, will you Gabe?"

There was a moment of silence in which my mind actually wondered if I had finally fallen asleep but a second later he replied, "I'll tell you…just let my hair go."

"Promise"

"…I promise Bella," he said warmly, "now go to sleep."

There was one thing that also nagged on my mind, so I pulled his hair again.

"Now what?"

"Gabe, do you think…that girl with the red hair, Sable…is she pretty, do you think she is pretty?"

Another elongated silence followed and I was about to pull his hair again when he finally replied, "The vampire blood in her is the only thing that highlights her beauty. If she were human, she would be an ordinary looking girl."

"Like me." I said drowsily, finally letting go of his hair.

"You aren't ordinary Bella…now go to sleep."

He didn't have to tell me twice.

* * *

"Where is she?!"

"Edward, please calm down!"

"She's not there!"

Groggily I opened my eyes and tried to focus them in the bright morning light.

"Whazz goin on?" I muttered trying to fully wake up. Gabe's head was still by my side, he had not moved all night.

A loud thunder-like bang managed to fully wake me up and make me sit up in alarm. Edward burst into the room with Carlisle and Esme in his heels. I blinked stupidly at the sudden dramatic appearance.

The three of them halted and stared taken aback.

"Just because you don't sleep doesn't mean you have to wake her up so early," Gabe said dryly still not getting up from the floor.

Edward's nostrils flared as he glared at Gabe but remained silent.

"Bella, I thought I had given you the room across the hall," Esme said quickly as if trying to do a sort of damage control.

"Oh, I'm so used to having Gabe sleep with me, I couldn't sleep over there by myself," I said truthfully stifling a yawn.

In my defense I was still half asleep so a moment later when I noticed the stunned look in their faces did I realize just how wrong that had sounded.

"Closet!" I gasped, horror-struck, "he usually stays in the closet."

"In…the closet," Carlisle repeated looking dumbfounded.

"He would stay with you—in your closet?" Edward asked stiffly, looking at me with hard eyes. It sounded so ridiculous, even to me. Esme and Carlisle looked baffled, if not a little confused but Edward was expressionless yet I could see that his eyes were shinning with something close to anger—anger at me. I could feel my face burn in chagrin.

Gabe got casually up and said listlessly, "I suppose you are going to feed her, she hasn't had anything for a while."

"I'm not hungry," I said hurriedly, feeling like the world was falling around me. I felt like a teenage girl who had been caught with a boy by her parents…or at least how I thought a girl in those circumstances would feel—I wouldn't know if truth be told.

So are we finally going to know what is going on?" Rosalie asked as we made our way into the library later in the morning. After showering and dressing in Esme's clothes (which thankfully weren't a dress) and forcing down less than half of an elaborate breakfast that had been prepared just for me, Carlisle showed Gabe and me into the large library where the entire Cullen family was waiting for us. I felt as if we were entering a court where Carlisle was judge and the rest were the jury.

Sable and Emmett were situated with Esme in the middle of a long couch to the side, Rosalie was seated like a model posing for a photo shoot on the armchair twirling a plastic flower from a vase in her fingers.

Two old chairs were even settled in the middle of the room for us. I could feel the toast I had eaten try to make itself up my throat but I closed my eyes and tried to ignore Edward who had settled himself by Carlisle's elbow behind a mahogany desk.

"Please start from the beginning Bella," Carlisle commanded benignly to me.

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth. The entire story was welling in my chest like a dam about to break but it still held back. My throat had closed and I didn't know how to continue. There was a moment of awkward silence in which I fought with myself to speak but I just couldn't. The idea of telling them how I had returned to their home after a while—it made me more ashamed than anything else. I mean, seriously, how pathetic could you get?

"In—I—I was—October," I managed to stammer after a while.

"October?" Carlisle asked frowning, "Did this all begin in October?"

I nodded silently, grateful he had caught a meaning from my idiocy.

"How did you meet," Carlisle prodded after he noticed that I wasn't continuing.

"I was starved, Bella provided me with blood," Gabe interposed mildly. The room's attention turned to him in a flash. I breathed a minuscule sigh of relief.

"Why were you in Forks Gabriel?" Carlisle asked harsher than he had been with me.

"I was looking for you, I was weakened and needed protection."

"And you thought Carlisle would protect you?" Edward asked, sneering faintly.

"I wasn't thinking clearly," was Gabe's honest reply.

"How did you two come to know each other though?" Esme continued looking genuinely interested, so I couldn't blame her for turning back to the topic I dreaded.

"He was—dirty and thirsty, so I helped him," I finally said wishing fervently that it would be good enough. "In the forest," I added hurriedly as an afterthought.

In the corner of my eye I was relieved to see that Gabe hadn't even blinked at this piece of news…which were new to him too. Instead of instantly calling out my lie he slumped lazily further in his chair and looked at me briefly before replying, "Yes…dirty and thirsty in the forest…naked."

For a moment I didn't compute what he had said even when Rosalie's flower had flown across the room for some reason. A second passed…two…three…

"You were NOT naked," I rounded on him furiously. He was looking at me with an expression of pure innocence and wide eyes that clearly said, _"If you can lie, so can I."_

"Your smell," Edward suddenly burst impatiently ending our bickering. Slowly, almost painfully too slow I turned to him. His eyes were darker than I remembered them, so he was probably thirsty. He looked intensely at me and I wondered once more if he could possibly feel like I was feeling. He was clutching the back of Carlisle's chair as if struggling with something; Carlisle turned slightly, gave him a warning look and turned back to me, "Why don't you smell like yourself Bella? Emmett told me that that was the reason they didn't know you had arrived in the city, and I didn't even recognize the smell myself when you were brought to the clinic."

"Our scents are compatible to one another," Gabe answered for me.

Carlisle frowned looking at the both of us, "Compatible? The scents themselves?"

"Yes, Gabe told me they merged," I added, recalling the conversation Gabe and I had had not too long ago on the topic. "Which is why trackers are following me, it is really Gabe they are after but they can't tell the difference."

"How is this possible?" Esme asked frowning.

"I don't know," Carlisle responded looking thoughtful, "this is the first time I have encountered such a thing."

"I have," Sable interposed from her seat in the couch, "but it was a pair of twins from Norway. It must have been about a couple of decades ago when I met them."

"Will it remain or fade?" Carlisle asked more to himself than anybody else in the room.

"Fade," Gabe interposed, but then added as an after thought, "Eventually."

"Eventually," Edward repeated the word, looking as if it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"So your scents _merged_," Rosalie said impatiently, "then what?"

"The bounty hunters began to arrive," I said in a small voice, looking down at my hands clenched tightly on my lap. This was going to be long and complicated but I had to do it. They were willing to protect me, I couldn't keep lying.

"Gabe noticed this and protected me," I continued, taking a deep breath to brace myself, everyone's eyes turned to me again, "Trackers began to arrive, well, bounty hunters I should say. There was this one that tore my chemistry book, I had to pay for that, it was expensive…oh and he almost got me on my way home, but Gabe took care of it. Then there was one that followed him to Seattle, and he got that one too but I never really got details on how it happened. It was probably fast, Gabe can be pretty mean. Then there was the one that trashed Charlie's house, I don't know if he got that one but he would've deserved it. He broke everything, even the blender. I mean, seriously, who bothers to break a blender? Do vampires not like smoothies?"

Gabe fidgeted on his chair and muttered to me, "You're not forcing them to drink pig's blood Bella, get on with it."

I blinked at him and realized he was right, I had been babbling pointlessly. "Oh, right. After that happened, we decided that the only way for everybody at Forks to be safe was for us to leave, well, me really. Then there was a pair of twins that ganged up on me when we were in Canada, Gabe got those too. Since it was obvious the bounty hunters weren't going to stop Gabe thought it would be for the best if we separated and I went somewhere where I could be protected…so Gabe decided we would find Carlisle. Here in Prague I got ambushed in a bathroom but you guys scared her away…and you know the rest."

After I stopped and finally taken a breather did I realize it really wasn't that long of a story, or complicated. Then again, I had abridged like crazy but it wasn't like they could tell anyways.

Silence followed and I wondered what they could be thinking, what _he_ could be thinking. By the small frown on his face and occasional flicker at Carlisle, I guessed he was reading Carlisle's mind. It made me nervous, would they ask more details? Would they think I was lying?

"Thank you Gabriel," Esme suddenly said warmly, coming to my side and putting a tender hand on my shoulder, "You kept our Bella alive, we owe you more than words can express."

"_Your_ Bella?" Gabe asked blandly eyeing everybody in the room, "I hadn't realized she was _'yours'_, otherwise I would've wrapped her up for you with a nice bow."

"She wasn't ours, she was Edwards," Rosalie said carelessly going over to pick up her plastic flower from across the room. When she stood up, several pairs of eyes, including mine were glaring at her. Realizing her slip-up, Rosalie had the decency to shoot a fleeting apologetic look at Carlisle and Edward who was looking murderous.

"I was nobody's" I snapped, feeling my face rise in heat, "I'm my own person, not some object somebody can claim and discard!"

With that I stood and left the room, feeling in the verge of tears. I didn't want to go back to my room, it was too dark and depressing so I headed out the door. The next thing I knew a chilly wave struck me on the face. A cold breeze made the surrounding trees sway under a stormy morning sky. I walked on a path made out of gravel that led to the back of the house. High hedges and dead rose bushes were the highlight of my walk. To get my mind off of things I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what this place would look like in spring with the roses' rebirth. The idea soothed my frazzled nerves and kept me from thinking of what had happened, what had been said.

I shouldn't have come; I knew that now more than ever. Despite Esme's kind words I knew this wasn't the place for me. This new place…in a new country, in a new 'Cullen House'…with new people that held the hand of the man you loved before your eyes.

There was an old stone bird bath that contained frozen water. I went over and looked down at it. There was a frozen entrapped leaf right in the middle. Brownish-yellow that was its tinge. It wasn't exactly fascinating but it was something to look at.

I felt so miserable as it was, my insides felt like lead and my fingers had become numb. More than anything I began to wish I was back in Phoenix with a winter weather of seventy-five degrees or higher…and no vampires to complicate my life or me theirs. If only Alice were here…she would've known where I would go from here, what roads I had to chose from. Right now I felt in a standstill, like the leaf. What to do? What was my future?

"If it makes you feel better, I never thought you were an object," Gabe said, suddenly materializing by my elbow, making me jump a foot in the air.

"It does, a little," I replied a moment later after I had regained my breath from surprise.

"You talked too much to be an object," he continued, looking down at the trapped leaf beside me.

"I thought you were trying to make me feel better," I reminded him reproachfully, wiping my wet face with my sleeves.

He gave me one of his awkward grins but made no reply. Instead he reached into the frozen water, tapped the ice which broke easily like glass and pulled the leaf free. He held it for a moment on the palm of his hand before he tossed it to the ground where it laid dead, brown and sodden.

"Carlisle is taking me somewhere to feed," he said, finally ending our contemplation of the leaf. I looked up at him in alarm, my leaded insides clenching painfully. My stomach had had a rough couple of weeks; I was probably up for some mean ulcers sooner or later.

"You're leaving me by myself?" I asked in mounting horror, "With them? Can't I come too?"

"I asked Carlisle the same thing but the mind-reading idiot complained, so no, you can't come," he said turning to study me with crossed arms. I knew that he was thinking about the comment Rosalie had made, wondering God knew what and it made me nervous. Did he think me more of a fool now that he knew I had been involved with a vampire? A soul sucking fiend?

"Edward and I were together for some time," I heard myself say. The second it was out, I wished I had kept my mouth shut. Thankfully his regular expression of blank indifference hadn't changed. He also didn't prompt me to continue, but since he didn't tell me to stop either my mouth got the best of me again. "It ended on September…a little after my birthday."

"We have to leave now," he continued on the past subject, as if I hadn't spoken at all. I blinked stung he had chosen to ignore it. Was he really that disgusted by it, a vampire-human relationship? I recalled what he had told me yesterday,_ "I just despise your kind, it makes me sick."_, and didn't doubt it for a second. "The other five will stay here with you they seem useful enough. The bounty hunters come either single or in pairs, so they will be able to handle it."

"Will you come back?" I managed to ask turning back to the bird bath to avoid looking at him. He had hurt me. Apparently he had managed to dig himself deep enough into me to have the power to do so.

Gabe…the Cullens, were they all against me? Was it "Let's step on Bella's heart and grind it a bit" Day?

"Yes, I suppose I will," was his monotonous response. I nodded and kept my back to him. I felt his presence leave from behind me so I knew he was gone. I hugged myself and tried to keep it together. I thought he had become my friend. We had undergone so many things together…but apparently it was a one sided thing, right? Otherwise he would've cared one way or other…made one of his insensitive comments even. I would have welcomed that compared to the obvious cold shoulder he had just given me.

"Bella, I'm disappointed in you."

Jumping in shock for the second time I turned to see he hadn't left completely, he had only walked off a few yards away.

"Disappointed?" I repeated, my mouth drying, "Why?"

"Even as a feeble human girl I thought you would've had better taste, but I guess I was wrong," he shrugged his broad shoulders in blasé kind of way and walked off—leaving me annoyed and happy all at once.

He was a jerk.

My friend the jerk.

After he was gone I decided to follow, thinking I could at least say bye to them but I hadn't taken two steps before Edward appeared, coming through the same trail Gabe had just left by. He was in a plain white button down shirt, mindless of the cold as always. It was like an apparition of beauty that seemed too unreal to be true. For a moment I wondered if I was delusional. Edward had been so cold and distant ever since I had arrived, not even speaking more than a couple of words to me, was he really coming towards me now?

"Bella, can we talk?" his velvety voice carried over on the morning breeze, caressing my face.

_"Don't come near me, don't touch me, I'll break,"_ was what I wanted to say but my voice had disappeared. The bronze tint to his hair still shone even though there was no great source of light anywhere. For some reason I remembered the smooth feel of my fingers going through his hair and my throat closed up. I was going to start to cry, or sob was the right word. Even the purplish shadows under his eyes were like a sad story that could break my heart.

I thought he would stop and stay as far as Gabe had but he didn't. He kept coming closer and closer, his warm eyes capturing mine.

My brain had shut down and I couldn't feel the rest of my body with the exception of my heart which was beating forcefully, reminding me of how wounded it had been when he had walked away.

And now here he was, walking back to me.

Stopping so close our bodies almost touched. Brushing a strand of hair gently from my face as if he had never left, leaning down and kissing me as if he still loved me.

**I honestly wish I had had time to rewrite this completely somehow. Oh well, like I said, you guys are really the critics here. Review my lovelies, could this have been better? Likey, no likey? **


	11. The Truth

**Okay, I apologize for such a late update, but seriously, I have been going crazy the past month. Going all over the country to look at colleges is really draining, especially if you have three hour layovers which just sucks. Anyhow, finally chapter 11 which I wrote in one day...and fully recommend to never ever do. I hope you guys likey, I'll update sooner next time now that the college frenzy is over.**

* * *

The Truth

His head was bowed to the ground so I couldn't see his expression and he held me at arms length as if I was a contagious virus he had to keep away. I felt like a mummy, stiff and bound. I wondered if my lips were still slightly pouting from the sudden kiss that had frozen me, mummified me. How stupid to look, as if kissing the air…

"I'm so sorry Bella," Edward finally said in a low voice, letting go of my arms where he had been gripping me and stepped even farther away from me.

Bella the walking virus.

"I shouldn't have done that, I'm so sorry."

What was there to say? "_Oh it's fine really Edward, I didn't mind"?_

No, I couldn't say that because I did. Mind, that is. To just walk up to me and kiss me like that…didn't he know? Didn't he have any clue how much it hurt to see him let alone touch me? Who did he think he was anyways, to be playing with my emotions that way? Especially if he didn't love me…because he didn't, did he? I was so confused, and now that the numbness I had been experiencing was fading away like the aftermath of an electric shock I could feel a balloon of giddiness grow in me. He had kissed me! He had touched me! I could die happy right now and I wouldn't mind one bit.

Then again…he had pushed me away and apologized. A straight punch right on the ego…

These contradicting thoughts raced in my mind making me wonder if I was bipolar…or maybe had multiple personalities in my head. Was I angry or happy?

"Please say something Bella," Edward finally raised his head looking imploringly at me. I realized that he had been expecting me to speak for quite a while now but I had been in my own head trying to discover if I was insane or not.

"What did you want to talk about?" I forced myself to ask hesitantly. He looked slightly discomposed and relieved. Apparently my avoidance of the kiss did count as a form of forgiveness, at least to him.

The morning breeze that had been gradually freezing my face was now turning into a slight gale. It made my damp hair whirl about and smack my face like an icy whip. I brushed it impatiently away and noticed that my hand was shaking but not from the cold, thankfully he hadn't noticed. He was too busy studying my face.

"I promised myself I would not do that," he said softly, looking like he wanted to touch me but didn't dare come closer.

"Then why did you?" I retorted surprised at how biting I sounded. Apparently I was angrier at him than I had thought.

His face tightened and his eyes glittered oddly but he didn't reply, only stared at me.

"Why did you Edward?" I asked, my voice shaking and breaking. I wasn't overwhelmed anymore, not intimidated by his intoxicating presence. My hands were still shaking but with sudden anger. I balled them up tightly to keep them still. "You left Edward, you _left_."

He took a step forward but this time I was not in shock, my brain functioned perfectly so I took a step back. "No," I said with as much conviction as I could muster, "There is a line Edward, a line! Don't cross it again."

He nodded slowly, taking a slow step away as if to show he was stepping away from the imaginary line.

"Why are you here Bella?" Edward finally asked after another prolonged silence in which he had been studying me and I had been glaring at the ground trying not to cry again.

"I already answered that question," I replied levelly.

"No, let me rephrase that," he said in his cool soft voice, "Why did you let this happen?"

I looked up perplexed. _How could I let this happen?_ I wondered that myself most of the time but coming from him the question was confusing, "What do you mean? It just happened."

"You promised me," he said, his voice suddenly thick with held back emotion. "You promised me you wouldn't do anything stupid or life threatening."

I blinked completely taken aback. I _had_ promised that…at some point when he had been departing he had made me promise...and in the due course of time I had forgotten. My mouth opened and closed like a goldfish and I found myself speechless. An apology was something I would've readily given but I knew that wasn't what he wanted. A plausible and logical explanation for it all, which was what he was demanding of me, but it was the exact thing I couldn't give. There was no plausible or logical way to explain the way I had felt in October which had led me to make all those choices. I couldn't tell him of Old Bella or New Bella because all they had ever been were simply different name definitions for the way I had been B.E. and A.E.—Before Edward, After Edward.

"I wanted you to be safe Bella," he said, his eyes suddenly sad, "That was all I wanted."

My body yearned to cross over the line I had just drawn and touch him, console him. Tell him that the sadness in his eyes was breaking my heart. I was about to but a sudden flash of the pain I had experienced those months ago restrained me. For a moment I saw myself back in the cool shadows of the forest he had left me in, feel the biting dampness of the falling rain as I had stood there feeling like the world was ending, like I was dying. It wasn't bitterness at what he had put me through what kept me strong and away from him. It was the fear of allowing myself to believe and be touched by him again. I knew that if it happened again; a small kiss, a light caress…I would fall again, harder than before, more painful.

Knowing this full well I forced myself to step around him and hurry to the path again. The more we remained alone the more dangerous everything became. My legs became heavy with every step I took as if I was walking in quick sands. By the time I reached the edge of the house I gave up and turned. He hadn't moved from the spot but was staring at me with his dark eyes which were unreadable.

"All I wanted," I said across the garden, "was you."

* * *

"Carlisle said they would be back in a day or two," Esme told me as we calmly sat in the house's small parlor. The rain had begun to fall and it made for nice background music. Rosalie was seated lazily in a long couch, fully extended reading a magazine. Nobody else seemed to be in the house. After I had entered the girl Sable and Emmett had left for a perimeter check, as they called it, and Edward had stayed behind. He hadn't returned even after the rain began to fall and I began to wonder if he had simply stayed in the garden, tall and silent.

"Is it that far, where they went?" I asked distractedly, really keeping my eye on the entrance hallway for when Edward came back.

"It is far enough to merit some time, yes," she replied putting down a book she was reading and looking at me, concern in her eyes. "Bella, are you alright?"

"Huh?" I looked hurriedly back at her blushing. Was my anxiety for Edward that transparent? "Yeah, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"

Her eyes told me that she wasn't fooled. I had the sad realization that she didn't need Edward's gift to know what I was thinking or Jasper's to know what I was feeling.

"I know that this is really hard for both of you," she began gently and I cringed as if she had struck me with the very beginning of the topic.

"The end of your relationship was very abrupt and painful but Bella you have to know," she said sounding suddenly pleading, "he only wanted the best for you. Edward didn't do it because he wanted to hurt you, you know that right?"

I turned to Rosalie who had been staring at me on the top of her magazine but raised it inconspicuously once she saw me looking. Esme was staring at me with moist eyes and that was when I finally acknowledged it.

It was in all of their eyes, ever since the beginning. In Emmett's though he only looked at me to tease me sometimes, in Carlisle's though he tried almost successfully to conceal it. Rosalie, Esme…all the Cullens. It was pity.

There was an unmistakable glint of pity in every single preternatural pair of eyes. All of them had an _"I feel so sorry for you" _thing going on and it was grating on my frazzled nerves. Not only was I a useless human girl like Gabe said, I was also pathetic and worthy of pity even from Rosalie which really said something. I felt like snapping and telling them to stick their pity up where the sun didn't shine, I didn't need it…

Suddenly I looked down at my lap shocked at my thoughts, avoiding their eyes. Where was this sudden hostility coming from? They were being kind to me, I didn't have to be so rude about it…it was Gabe's fault; his bad mannerism was rubbing off on me.

"I hope they come back soon," I said struggling to sound natural and perky, which didn't work since I came out sounding like I had inhaled helium.

Esme nodded smiling at me faintly before picking up her book again. The front door opened and I jumped a foot on the air before being able to compose myself to look natural and collected in my stiff wooden chair. Emmett and Sable came in a moment later, making me slouch back in disappointment. Where was Edward?

"There aren't any trackers in the ten mile perimeter we checked," Emmett said going over to the couch and moving Rosalie's long legs to take a seat.

"There are one or two in the city but they don't seem to be trackers, just vagabonds," Sable added from the doorway looking around, "Where is Edward?"

It was almost too quick to have happened but in the corner of my eye I could have bet that Esme had shot me an unperceivable worried look before replying, "I'm not sure, he hasn't returned all morning."

Sable's face fell but she composed herself and leaned against the doorway turning her hazel eyes to me. Again I was reminded of how breathtakingly beautiful she was before she began to talk to me, "We haven't been officially introduced, have we?"

Her friendly smile and open manner made my stomach twist. The fact that she was the kind of person even I could consider a friend didn't make things better, she was perfect.

"That is true!" Esme gasped, "How rude of me Bella, this is Sable Hepburn she has been with us ever since we arrived here in October. Sable, this is Isabella Swan, we met her during our stay at Forks in the states."

"Yes, that much I was able to figure out," she replied smiling at me.

I nodded vaguely barely paying attention at Esme as she suddenly changed the topic to the difference in languages. All I had noticed had been how I was just Isabella Swan, that one girl they met at Forks, nothing more, nothing less.

"Edward didn't mention befriending a human in Forks," Sable said, turning to me after Esme's dialog on German versus English had died out. "He told me they had to join school in order to appear normal but I always figured a space was maintained."

Her comments weren't spiteful in any way, but conversational and sociable. She was as ignorant about me as I was about her.

"I suppose it just shows how strong the Cullens are in their abstinence against human blood," she finished looking expectantly, waiting a response.

"Yes, I was very fortunate to have met them," I replied sincerely looking back at my lap. It was killing me, this small talk. Who was she? Who was she to Edward? It was obvious by Esme's hesitation on elaboration that it was something I wouldn't want to know. I remembered how Sable had gone over and casually held his hand, he hadn't pushed her away. The knot in my stomach grew tighter.

I needed to get away, from the parlor, from the house, from these kind vampires who wanted to protect me but were unaware that their attempts at kindness were smothering me.

"How did you meet the Cullens Sable?" I forced myself to ask. If the information would not be given, there was no reason for me to not just take it.

"I met Carlisle and Edward half a century ago when they were passing by, Prague has been my home ever since my birth."

"Which birth?" I asked looking up at her. Half a century, she had known him half a century before me.

"Both," she said laughing, "I couldn't bring myself to leave, even though my maker did. He was not a very sane man, I stopped drinking human blood because of him."

"He taught you not to hurt humans," I stated.

"No," she replied, her easy smile suddenly turning into a grimace, "He would maul them, it was disgusting. I was glad when he decided to leave," she finished shrugging.

I nodded, not really knowing what to make of these new pieces of information, none of it told me what I wanted to know.

"How did you meet the Cullens, Bella, can I call you Bella? Everybody does."

"Bella is fine," I replied, my mouth drying up. Maybe Esme would help with the details, but I waited a few seconds and she didn't interpose anything, only returned to her book which I was positive she wasn't reading.

"I—we first met in Biology class," I finally said lamely. "Then an accident happened and Edward saved my life, that was when I realized he was…_different_."

Sable nodded but I noticed that a glint of understanding lighted suddenly in the depths of her eyes. She didn't pursue in asking more questions. Apparently she got more out of my highly edited response that I had gotten from hers.

The room went oddly silent. Emmett and Rosalie sat side by side staring at nothing but looking extremely entertained by it. Esme proceeded to actually reading her book and Sable left the parlor, her destination unknown. Time passed in the form of grains of sand in an hour glass. Was this how it was to be immortal, sitting in an enclosed space doing nothing for long periods of time? Well, the long periods of time were probably mere seconds to them. Time meant nothing after all.

Like a tsunami straight to my face I realized how much I missed Gabe. It had been only a couple of hours since he had left but it was really taking a toll on me.

I had spent hours waiting for him before, but I had been occupied or sleeping. I hadn't had time to just sit around and think of what to do with myself.

"Lets go take a walk, this is tedious," Rosalie said a few minutes later, getting up in one swift and fluid motion. Emmett let himself be dragged off giving me a fleeting smile before they walked off and the front door closed behind them.

I waited a few minutes when I was sure they were probably a good way off before sighing and fully relaxing on my chair. There was something about the Cullens that kept me from being fully relaxed, as if I had to try extra hard for them to approve of me. Esme didn't apply; I knew for a fact that no one had to vie for her approval, she was the type of person to give it unconditionally.

As if reading my mind Esme put down her book and looked at me critically and began, "Bella, I've wanted to talk to you in private."

I sighed again but sat back up straight, another draining conversation was in its way.

"I know my arrival was unexpected but I couldn't stop Gabe. He—"

"No, it is not about that," she interrupted gently.

"Then about what?" I asked, my throat constricting. They were coming, all the answers I wanted she was going to finally give me.

"Sable and Edward…they are together."

My head went back slightly as if she had slapped me and my heart skipped several beats. It was one thing to suspect it, it was another to know it for a fact.

"It began in early November," she continued reaching over and steadying my shaking hand in hers.

"I—it was my fault Bella," she said this in a constricted manner, looking sorry, "Edward was in so much pain but I knew he was too stubborn to go back to you so I coerced Sable and him together. They knew each other already and meshed so well…I thought that maybe in time…"

"In time," I repeated, my voice sounding hollow to my ears, "You said in time, but you also said they are together."

Esme nodded, her eyes shinning oddly. I hoped fervently she wouldn't cry because if she did, I wouldn't be able to stop myself as well.

"Sable loves him Bella, she told him so. Edward couldn't bring himself to refuse her. I think that Edward hoped that if he…stayed with her, it would be easier for him to forget you."

As gently as I could I disengaged my hand from hers and stood up. I wanted for the ground to split open and swallow me whole. It would make it all so much easier.

"It is a good thing he didn't have to try so hard," I finally said after I had paced for a while in the stuffy humid room. The rain still pelted the windows like the taps of a very insistent person.

"That is unfair of you Bella, Edward only wanted what was best for you."

"He said _I_ wasn't good for _him_," I snapped turning on her, "How is that the best for me? All I wanted was for us to be together, forever! I suppose he did say he would always love me "_in a way"," _I said doing quotes with my fingers, "Tell me Esme, what does "_in a way"_ mean? In the way of a sister, a friend, a random pet?"

"Bella, please," Esme gasped looking aghast.

I shook my head and turned away feeling ashamed of letting my anger at her. Even though she took the blame I knew none of this was her fault, it was mine for coming to begin with.

"Sorry Esme," I said, my voice cracking, "I know you only want for me to be okay…I will be, I just have to lie down for a while, I'm exhausted."

"Alright Bella, I hope you feel better," she said in a small restrained voice.

I went up to Gabe's assigned room and laid on the bed. I turned to look out the window. The rain fell in small drizzles now so that the drops glided down lazily all the way down the window. It fell slowly like tears.

When I woke up I wondered if I had opened my eyes at all. It took a while before I realized my room was pitch black and the rain had returned strong and continuous. I got up and stretched, I had been laying in the fetal position the entire time. Stifling a yawn I brushed my fingers through my hair and headed down the stairs. The light in the library was open. I went to the door and saw that all the Cullens were gathered before a lit fire discussing in low melodic voices. The fire's light danced on their porcelain faces making them look like bizarre angels without wings.

"Bella, there you are!" Esme said warmly coming to my side and pulling me in the room. I could tell she wanted for us to brush the whole afternoon aside and let me know she had forgiven me for my outburst. I followed her in gratefully and sat close to the fire. Its mellow warmth made me realize I had been freezing without knowing it.

"How did you sleep Bella?" Sable asked attentively.

"Fine," I replied softly, trying with all my might to ignore the fact that she was sitting next to Edward with his hand intertwined in hers on her lap. I had a vague image of getting one of the iron fire pokers and whacking her on the head with it but suppressed it by turning to look at the desk. Carlisle was seated behind it looking passively at me. I blinked, surprised they had gotten back so fast. Then I realized as I looked around that Gabe wasn't here.

"Where is Gabe? Is he sulking in a corner somewhere?"

"Sulking?" Rosalie repeated sneering.

"Yeah, it's his favorite hobby."

I turned expectantly to Carlisle who shared a hard look with Edward before turning back to me, "Gabe wanted to be left alone while he hunted Bella."

That made sense, Gabe wouldn't be the type to want to have man on man bonding time while jumping an elk, "So he is coming tomorrow?"

He hesitated slightly but finally replied, "Tomorrow or in a few days, it depends how thirsty he is."

I nodded accepting the fact that this awkwardness I had never experienced with the Cullens before would have to go on. If Gabe was to be here I knew it would be more bearable but I would just have to deal.

It was harder because I had to avoid looking at a particular side of the room which was quite complicated to accomplish.

"So…when are Alice and Jasper coming back?" I asked to fill in the void of conversation.

Carlisle frowned, "We are not quite sure, she has not returned our call, or Jasper."

"Can something be wrong?" I asked suddenly feeling guilty. It was my fault they were over there after all.

"No, I'm sure they are fine," Esme said, "It's just odd that they would not call back."

"It is called 'avoiding a call'," Rosalie said helpfully. Carlisle gave her a stern look but I could tell he had been thinking along the same lines as her.

I frowned wondering why Alice would not want to talk to the Cullens. Maybe she knew what was happening with Gabe and me and she was angry. Or just didn't want to be involved in such a complicated matter.

"Bella we were discussing before you came a tracker that arrived a few hours ago at the city," Carlisle said turning to me.

My body went cold and I felt guilty once more for dragging them into my problems, "Do they know I'm here?"

"We believe he is just a tracker in general, not a bounty tracker so there is a chance he does not know a thing about Gabriel."

I led out a sigh of relief, the Cullens wouldn't get hurt for my sake, which was what I dreaded the most. I was also glad that the continuous attacks had slowed down. At least there would be time for Gabe to return.

* * *

"Do you think he is fine, was it really that far?" I asked Carlisle a day later. Gabe hadn't come back yet and it irked me.

"I know he is very strong, he is a monster, I am aware of that. But can there be a possibility of a bear beating him unconscious and I don't know…using him as a chew toy?"

Carlisle opened his mouth to respond but I wasn't done, "He can be a bit overbearing, I know that very well but he does not deserve to get mauled by a bear. It is not a dignifying death, don't you think?"

"Bella, Gabriel will not get mauled by a bear," Carlisle said patiently, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly, "I assure you he is able to take care or himself. By what you two told us I am more than sure he'll be fine."

I nodded and still kept my doubts, bears were big and mean…and Gabe was so defenseless and…and…

Yeah, okay, maybe the bears were the ones who needed protection.

* * *

"Bella, he can take care of himself," Edward snapped on the second day as I badgered Carlisle again in the library about Gabe. "That _man_ is the type to be able to survive anything, even if it is above the life of others."

"Edward, keep your comments to yourself," Carlisle replied quickly before I could argue, "Bella, Gabriel is a powerful elder. It is not the first time he has hunted alone."

"I am aware of that," I replied shortly, "I was just wondering if vampires can die of a long fall. He is not a normal vampire you know, he is not graceful, maybe he fell off a cliff."

"As wonderful as that sounds," Emmett said as he passed by the doorway, "it is very unlikely Bella."

* * *

The grandfather clock ticked…and ticked…and ticked…

"Bella, dear, staring at the clock won't make time go faster or make Gabriel come faster," Esme pointed out kindly on the third day in the dinning room.

"Bella, what is wrong with you, why were you looking inside my closet earlier?" Rosalie asked riled coming into the room bringing a cloud of stuffy perfume with her and a disheveled sweater on her hand.

"I was looking for Gabe," I answered wistfully, playing with a cherry tomato in my salad.

"You were looking for that guy in my closet?"

I nodded trying to pierce the tomato in my fork but it went flying off, "I checked all the closets in the house."

"Why in the world would you do that Bella?" Esme asked astounded.

"Gabe likes closets, I thought maybe he had arrived without telling anybody and gone into one."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Yeah, and maybe he changed his mind and decided to go under a bed now. Tell me Bella, would you like for me to help you look under every bed in the house for him?"

"Oh, would you? That's very kind of you Rosalie."

After Rosalie left in a temper I turned confused to Esme.

"She was being sarcastic dear," Esme said kindly.

"You think so? It seemed like a pretty good idea to me."

* * *

"I propose a search party for tomorrow morning," I announced to the parlor where everyone had assembled as always. It was the night of the fourth day and still no Gabe. My last nerves had long been shot, I couldn't take it anymore.

"He is not lost Bella," Emmett said vaguely.

"I know," I said beginning to pace, "but maybe a bounty tracker got a hold of him. Who knows, maybe more than one…more than two…he could be dead."

"He is already dead Bella," Edward pointed out unnecessarily.

Of everybody else who would demonstrate weariness at my continuous pestering on the Gabe topic, Edward was the most verbally opposed. He would become increasingly annoyed every time I would mention Gabe's name and had actually left the room in a huff once the day before.

"That is besides the point," I replied through gritted teeth, "It has been four days, Carlisle came back in less than one. It is obvious something has happened to him."

"Has it ever occurred to you the possibility that he has left and won't come back?" Edward said standing up from Sable's side, sudden anger radiating from him.

I blinked and answered without hesitation, "No, of course not."

"Bella," Carlisle said gently, coming over and putting a comforting arm around me, "Gabriel's whole mission in coming to Prague was to deliver you to us to protect you, not for him to remain and bring the trackers here. That would have not served the purpose at all."

"So you are saying he is not coming back?" I asked growing stiff in his embrace.

"What I am saying Bella, is that perhaps it is for the best if you let go of this. He might come back, he might not, who knows?"

"I do!" I exclaimed furiously detaching myself from his side, "I know he is coming back! He is Gabe, he always comes back, _always._"

Carlisle looked at me with the same pity that made me sick to my stomach, "Bella, it is for the best if Gabriel does not return."

I opened my mouth to argue but the pleading look in his eyes, begging me to let go of this made me realize the ugly truth.

"He _isn't_ coming back, is he?" I said in a small voice, taking a step away from him and his pitying eyes.

He shook his head softly and I felt light headed. He wasn't coming back?

"Did you know when you came back?" I asked in a calm voice, as if asking for the time, "What did you tell him to make him leave?"

"What makes you think Carlisle told him anything? The animal just left because he wanted to, he had done his deed with you. He just left," Edward said harshly.

"Gabe would not have left just like that!" I argued close to tears.

"It has been almost a week, he obviously did," Rosalie pointed out.

"Gabriel felt it was best to leave now that you were in good hands with—"

"Carlisle, just tell her the truth, stop covering for him," Edward said disgustedly.

"Edward, I told you this didn't involve you—," Carlisle began warningly.

But Edward ignored Carlisle's words and turned to me, his eyes burning with hate I knew wasn't for me.

"You know that thing that happened with your scents Bella? How they suddenly combined to become one?"

"Yes, but what does that have—."

"It is not just a freak accident that happens once in a blue moon. It can be inflicted by will," he said brushing off a hand of restraint Carlisle had attempted to put on him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my mind suddenly going blank. This was all too confusing.

"It is something those twins in Norway could do Bella," Sable suddenly added, "They were old and powerful, you see. It is a gift that can be done at will, merging your scent with someone else's. That vampire Gabriel could obviously do it. It is a rather pointless ability to practice, but I guess it worked out for him this time."

My mind couldn't compute what they were saying, I was sure there was a meaning to it since Edward was so worked up over it but I just could understand it.

"Don't you see," he said exasperated, "he lied to you from the very beginning. It was no accident your scents mixed and the trackers began to target you Bella. He made it happen, he wanted a scapegoat. You would be the obvious human bait in Forks while he got away.

"It is true he took you away but that was because he still needed you. In Forks or some other place, it didn't matter as long as he could get a quick escape with you as a back up."

It was like white noise in a television screen, every word out of Edward's mouth. It was just noise, it didn't mean a thing, it was just pointless loud noise.

And yet the sound was becoming louder and clearer, forming itself into ugly words that hurt like knives coming from Edward's mouth, "He knew what he was doing, he knew you would be targeted and killed. He didn't care as long as you served his purpose."

Carlisle finally sighed resignedly and turned to me, "It is true Bella. I confronted Gabriel about it in the forest and he admitted it was true, all of it."

I put my hand to my mouth, not in the gesture of horror or surprise as they all probably thought, but to keep myself from throwing up.

"You were right, I told him to stay away and never return. His scent will fade from yours, it eventually would have whether he had been close to you or not. It was his will that kept them mixed."

My head felt heavy and I let it bow down in exhaustion.

"Bella, where are you going?" Esme asked alarmed as I turned from the room and headed out the door.

"Out, I just need a little bit of air," I replied calmly, I turned to her and smiled weakly, "I'm fine Esme, I want to be alone for a while."

She nodded and they all stared at me as I turned and walked out the door.

Like a zombie, dead and without feeling I shuffled my way to the back garden in the darkness of the night. The gravel sound seemed like a vague echo of my stiff steps. I arrived in front of the stone bird bath where not too long ago he had been there next to me saying he would come back. The frozen water had long melted. A lone soggy leaf floated on its surface.

I grabbed the edge of the bath, fell to my knees and finally allowed it to hit me. The sickness came like a smooth wave but the hurt was too sudden and precise. I kneeled vomiting until there was nothing left and my sides spasmed and convulsed. In my ears I could hear an awful animal sound that was coming from me that was between a heave and a sob.

So he had despised me that bad huh? All those long months I had been nothing but a security blanket, that was why he had put up with me. I thought back to his cold attitude and scorching manners.

It hurt, so much to the point that I began to remember the pain of that night in the forest. That pain and this pain, it was weird but they felt very similar.

In reality, why was it coming off as a surprise? He had never liked me, he had told me as much most of the time. Yet I had thought that maybe he had begun to see me as…more than a stupid human girl…a person worth talking to, a friend, I suppose.

That was what made me feel so stupid now, the fact that I had deluded myself into believing such a thing.

"_You won't go without telling me, will you Gabe?"_

"_I'll tell you…just let my hair go."_

"_Promise"_

"…_I promise Bella…"_

I stood up, my legs feeling unsteady as if the world was spinning under me.

It was confusing, I knew I should've hated him for what he had done but it was still unclear to me as to how he had hurt me the most, by having wanted me dead…or having broken his promise.

**Feedback yo, you know I love whatever you guys have in mind. How did you like my little turn of events? Was it shocking, obvious?** **Please do tell, that purple little button loves to get clicked.**


	12. Different Roads

**For some reason the chapters keep getting longer and longer...hmm. Maybe I should just stick to the normal eight pages...instead of sixteen. Anyhow, I am updating sooner than last time, I am proud of myself. **

Different Roads

I was getting fed up with the sound of rain, why couldn't it just stop?

It had been more than a week since I had arrived at the Cullen's Prague home and already it felt like a lifetime.

My usual itinerary would be getting up in the morning, showering, forcing down some breakfast for Esme's benefit, sitting around, standing up, pretending to read a book, pace in my room, pick at my lunch, attempt at small talk with Esme (very hard to do, by the way) pace some more in my room, avoid Edward though he kept wanting to talk to me, avoid Sable who was trying to be sincerely friendly (which still didn't take away the fact that I wanted to pound her with a blunt object) stare at my dinner and finally escape to my room to stare at the ceiling. This had happened almost every day.

Talk about needing a change.

It was the last part of the itinerary that really got me. I hated laying there in the dark, listening to the nightly rain that was already driving me crazy, and try my best not to think. That was really the goal I woke up with every morning. Even when I paced alone in my room or sat in the parlor with some of the Cullens, I tried my hardest to keep my mind blank. Sometimes just laying there, I would slip for a second and imagine he was seated by my side, his head barely floating next to me. Or in the dark I would feel his presence, or hallucinate his glowing green eyes looking at me from across the room. It was all quite sad actually, mostly because all this imagining and hallucinating was against my will.

I hated the guy's guts. The very idea we had shared a room for all those months made me grit my teeth. He had been in there as I slept doing his deed, prepping me for when the wolves came. My life had meant nothing to him like the other countless of others he had taken. The conversation we had had in the second hotel had come to mind often after Edward spilled the beans, so to speak.

'_I am not a good person…_

'_I've never been. I have killed more people than you can imagine through the centuries and never felt any remorse…it was just my nature.'_

He had been honest in that aspect, at least. It wasn't like he had tried to win my trust by being hypocritically kind or that sort of thing. I could feel my blood boil at the idea of having considered him my friend.

It was humiliating to know how gullible I could be. Maybe I had a blind spot whenever it came to immortal men, they always seemed to get the best of me, throw it to the ground, grind it, spit on it, and grind it some more.

Gabe…_Gabriel_ that was his name.

I hated him so much...

I felt like breaking things, yelling, screaming, gouging his eyes…with a spoon, or something equally painful.

I would wake up startled in the middle of the night, thinking he had come in through the window. My lungs would intake a great breath of air to begin telling him every single thing I thought about him. How I wished he would just make like a tree and leave, how he was a low-life, soulless beast that deserved to get tracked to the ends of the earth for all eternity and have his head chopped off with a very blunt axe…

How he deserved to burn in hell a million times over for all the bad deeds he had ever done, or how he was such a sour bitter man that would never be or even deserve to be happy. Also yell at him how he had completely screwed up my life by making me think I had had no other alternative but having to leave my home and my father, both of which I could never have the face to return to now. How he had just dropped me off on the Cullen's doorstep, putting them in danger as well…I could say a million different things that hanged off the tip of my tongue, ready to hurt and sting if they could.

All these things would well up but then vanish in an exhale of breath after I would notice it had only been a burst of wind against the window, nothing more.

I would then stare at the window, willing it to open and be him. Just so that I could tell him the single most important thing I was unwilling to admit out loud, even to myself.

That I missed him.

* * *

"It is a group of four or so," Emmett was saying as I climbed down the stairs in the morning. Edward, Sable and Emmett were together in the landing, looking somewhat somber.

"What is it?" I asked stopping a couple of steps above them.

They turned simultaneously to me, looking worried but attempting unsuccessfully to disguise it.

"Nothing, don't worry about it Bella," Sable said looking quickly at the other two, "Esme has your breakfast ready, she is waiting for you."

"Are bounty trackers here?" I asked wryly, annoyed at the fact that they were trying to treat me like a child.

Edward came forward, his face drawn, "There are four of them, and they arrived at the city around dawn today."

"Do they know I'm here? Well, Gabe—riel, do they know his scent comes from here?"

"Yes, they are just waiting for the right time, whatever time that is," Sable replied, "I am going to go for Carlisle. He probably already sensed them, but it is better to have him here right away."

Edward and Emmett gave grim nods and we all stood on the landing and watched as the door closed behind her flaming hair.

"I'll go fill in Esme and Rosalie. Fun times Bella," Emmett said winking at me amused and rushing off.

"He thinks this is fun?" I asked weakly. My stomach had done a complete flip and my palms had begun to sweat at the very idea of these new deadly trackers coming to kill me…he thought this was _fun_?

"It will be fine Bella," Edward said softly reaching up and cupping my shaking hand gently in his, it felt like cool marble, "We are here for you."

I looked down at his warm eyes and instantly felt myself drowning in them. They reassured and comforted at the same time, I wanted to loose myself in them. I stepped a step lower towards him and touched his face. He reached up and held my hand on his face, closing his eyes and sighing softly.

"I will protect you Bella," he said, almost in a whisper, lowering my hand to his chest where his heart should have been beating, "I promise."

With what seemed like great effort he took a step back, let go of me gently and walked away. My body felt drained after the close contact and though his touch had been ice cold, I felt a burning numbing sensation where he had touched me.

I felt the familiar pull he always produced whenever he left the room, as if we were invisibly attached somehow and I had to follow him wherever he went. It was a form of magnetism I still had trouble getting used to. It was especially hard when Sable was in the room as well.

Later that night after many phone calls and numerous perimeter checks had been made, Carlisle and Sable finally arrived bringing the news that the four trackers had split, probably intending to come in the four different cardinal directions. Though it was a predictable tactic of attack, it still caused a problem since it meant that the Cullens would have to split as well.

"It is fine, there are six of us," Carlisle said, as they began to discus tactics of their own, seated around the oval dinning table, "Four of us will go to meet them and two will stay with Bella."

My hands had balled into tight stressed fists on my lap under the table. I was sure that the half moons of my fingernails that were digging into my skin were not far from drawing blood. This was ludicrous, what had I ever done to deserve this type of protection? I was so afraid for them. Immortality was in definition the act of never aging or dying of disease, but it did not mean they were all powerful. I had seen one too many immortals die on the hands of others to fool myself into believing they were incapable of coming into harm.

"Maybe if I just leave, they'll follow and—," I tried to comment for the millionth time but my voice was drowned by one of them like always.

"We are not using you as bait Bella, though that is what you were meant to be," Rosalie said lazily earning herself an intake of breath from a disapproving Esme and a glowering look from Edward.

Her comment stung me, I was still trying to keep my mind off of that and she was not making it easier for me.

"The good thing is that Gabriel's scent is finally fading," Carlisle continued from the head of the table, "In a few days nothing will remain of it and the trackers (if we keep them back long enough) will think he got away."

"His scent is fading?" I asked, my voice sounding short and robotic. I didn't care, really, I didn't.

"Yes, your own scent almost overpowers his," Edward said, a small smile of satisfaction forming on his lips.

I nodded, knowing that my face was simply blank. I felt neither relieved nor glad only hollow, though I knew it was dumb of me.

Was it so wrong of me to having wanted to keep his scent? I knew it didn't make sense, I mean, it wasn't like I could actually smell it myself but…he hadn't left anything behind. No clue that he had ever been real, that I hadn't just imagined him. He hadn't even left a good bye. His scent had been the one and only thing to reassure me of his existence, and it was fading. Would his memory leave me too? His green eyes, the awkward little smile, would they all become hazes in my memory, glitches that resembled mirages?

"Rosalie, Esme, you two will remain here with Bella. We will keep you continually updated," Carlisle was saying. I managed to compose myself and listen to the conversation around me; it wasn't the time to mope.

"It is for the best if we don't provoke them or make them think we want to fight," Carlisle turned to look pointedly at Emmett as he said this, "We just want to hold them off, perhaps they aren't here for the kill. If we prolong this enough the scent will disappear and there might not be any need for violence."

"That is wishful thinking Carlisle," Emmett growled, "They are obviously here for the kill. Their maneuvers show they are planning to corner their prey, not talk rationally with it."

"If worst comes to worst the rightful course of action will be taken Emmett," Carlisle responded evenly, "But for the moment we will be on the defensive, is that clear?"

Everybody gave steady nods of understanding. Emmett sulked like a disappointed child but nodded stiffly.

"They are moving fast, I think Emmett is right," Sable said looking up and sniffing the air. It reminded me of the first time I had met her, she had appeared to me like a feline predator, "They are here for the kill Carlisle, we must not let our guard down and think they might want to deal this peacefully."

"If worst comes to worst…" Carlisle repeated grimly standing up from the table. Everybody else followed suit. I got up clumsily; my whole frame felt like it might shatter at any moment just out of nerves.

"It will be fine Bella," Emmett said as they filed out of the room and giving me a small wink. Sable followed giving me an encouraging smile as well. Esme and Rosalie remained by my sides and we stood and watched as the others left, as if ready for battle, which in all probabilities that was what they were going to.

"I'll go say good bye," Rosalie suddenly said, avoiding our eyes and hurrying after Emmett. This made me realize things were much more serious than they were letting on. Especially if I had interpreted Rosalie's expression well before she rushed off. Despite of all the confident plans and assurance she was afraid for Emmett's life.

My throat felt dry and my insides empty. All for me, they were going into peril just for a stupid human girl.

"Maybe…you should go to Carlisle," I said to Esme, not being able to face her, I was so ashamed at my weakness and neediness.

She hesitated for a moment then walked off without a word.

I remained alone in the dinning room holding on to a chair's frame for support and listening to the grandfather clock. Right now I could have been at home doing last minute college applications…thinking of what I would want to major on. Hearing Charlie give a comment every once in a while during commercials. That was what _should_ have been happening, how could everything have gotten so warped?

'_Because of Gabriel,'_ I thought bitterly, gripping the frame until my knuckles turned chalk white, _'Gabriel happened and now everything is so wrong.'_

"Bella?"

I turned in surprise, too engrossed in my own thoughts to have noticed Edward come back into the room.

He walked towards me and like in the morning I didn't back off, but welcomed his presence, his touch.

"You have to live Bella," he said standing so close I could smell the sweet odor radiating from his breath and body, "I will do anything to keep you safe."

"Keeping me safe…even if it meant leaving me?" I asked softly looking up at him. He winced slightly as if I had struck a nerve.

"Even if it meant leaving you," he responded looking determined.

I looked down from his face, suddenly sad. His smell was so soothing, so familiar, I wanted to inhale it forever, I always had.

"Sometimes being with the person that you love means taking chances," I said turning to him expectantly.

Our eyes held for moment before he shook his head adamant, making my heart drop.

I sighed, "I guess you really didn't love me."

His mouth snapped open in a flash, as if to protest but I beat him to it, "You said it yourself, I wasn't good for you. I know you were right, I had always known."

"Bella, we are too different," he began, taking my face in his hands, "You are so fragile, so precious…your life is too valuable. By being with our kind you will always be in danger, that isn't acceptable."

I wanted to tell him he didn't understand me. I wanted to tell him of how out of place I felt with humans like me, how life hadn't been worth living without him. By putting me on a pedestal and pushing me aside to "keep me safe" he was dooming me.

"It is my decision as well Edward," I finally said, "It is my life after all, I should have a say of what I want to do with it."

He tentatively brushed my lips with the tip of his thumb and lowered his face less than an inch from mine and whispered, "This world is not for you Bella, you are better than this."

'_I belong here! Don't send me away again!'_ I wanted to yell but the great proximity had rendered me speechless. His lips touched mine and my body had slowly managed to regain control of itself again to respond before it all came to an abrupt halt. As before, he backed off quickly except that he looked alarmed. I turned to the doorway where Sable stood staring.

All the honest kindness she had bestowed upon me, the fact that she was willing to go out there and protect me without a question all became abundantly clear to me and I felt disgusting, hot guilt surge through me. She loved him too.

"It is time to go Edward," she said staring hard at the wall behind us before she turned and walked off.

I began to go after her but Edward stopped me.

"Stay here with Rosalie and Esme Bella," he commanded then hurried off after her.

I stayed as told wondering what in the world had just happened.

* * *

After they left the house became ominously quiet. Even the tall fire in the fireplace seemed to be on mute as we sat in the parlor. Nobody spoke; we were too stressed for that. Four trackers, dangerous and murderous, we didn't want to imagine a thing.

The phone would ring four different times every thirty minutes. Like this all of them updated us and kept us from worrying that they had been taken down or something equally terrifying.

Around two in the morning the phone rang and Esme answered, sounding amazingly composed, "Hello? Edward, how is it?"

Rosalie and I waited in suspense like we always did during every call, it was nerve racking. Usually our fears were unfounded but this time Esme grew paler, if possible and covered her mouth with her hand. It went like that for a while, the suspense was too much.

"I see, what could have happened?

"No, she is here, she is fine…yes...alright, this is not good, go find the others."

When she put down the receiver Rosalie and I remained silent, waiting for the worst.

"Well, Edward and Sable are fine, they are together," Esme began, looking strained.

"Together?" Rosalie repeated incredulous, "I thought Sable was covering the eastern post, what is she doing with Edward?"

"Apparently the tracker Sable was assigned to rush off suddenly. She lost track of him for a while and when she felt a presence again she noticed it was going north to Edward's location.

"She hurried over to Edward but it seems that her tracker disappeared completely. When she reached Edward it appears like the same thing had happened to him. His tracker ran away then appeared suddenly again only to rush to the west post. They are on their way to Emmett at the moment."

We all exchanged confused looks. Why were the trackers going to one another and disappearing on their way?

"I hope they call soon," Rosalie said, looking faintly sick, which was strange seeing as how she couldn't ever get physically sick anymore.

We waited the next thirty minutes, ignoring the fact that Carlisle and Emmett hadn't reported themselves. Thirty became an hour, then two…

Finally as the sun was beginning to rise through an overcast morning sky Esme and Rosalie both jumped from their seats and rushed to the entrance.

I followed after them, almost tripping in my fright.

We ran out the house to see all four of them, looking drawn and disheveled coming up the drive.

Rosalie went and hugged Emmett, Esme followed suit with Carlisle and Edward, then giving a warm hug to Sable. I stayed behind, feeling relieve spread trough me like warm water. All of them were okay; I wouldn't have to carry the death of anybody in my conscious.

"What happened?" Esme asked returning to me and hugging me next to her. I was grateful for the support, I was giddy with relief.

Carlisle and the others exchanged looks then turned to us looking rather serious, "We don't exactly know."

"The trackers just left one by one," Sable said tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "When we reached Carlisle his tracker had disappeared already too."

"Did you get to see them? Did you fight them?" Rosalie questioned looking up at Emmett.

He shook his head looking as confused as the rest, "We were always a good distance from them so there was no real contact."

"How could they have disappeared just like that?" Esme wondered out loud. We stood looking at each other, wondering the same thing.

"Well, either all of you are too slow, or I am just that good."

I knew it was coming. I don't know how I had known, but I just did. At least I wasn't as surprised as the rest when they turned back to see him strolling behind them casually.

"I personally believe it was both," he said stopping off a few yards away, "None of you managed to catch my scent. It was rather disappointing."

We all stared at this sudden apparition. I wondered if it was another of my hallucinations but he seemed all too real. His wavy hair had drops of night dew on it and his eyes were as green as ever. He was wearing a pair of muddied pants in which he had his hands deep in the pockets and the black button down shirt he usually wore had been torn violently from his right shoulder. Other than that he appeared unscathed, same old Gabe.

No one replied and the silence became palpitating and long. Gabe seemed unfazed by it.

So he had returned despite it all. My mouth felt dry so I knew that I would not be able to say what was on my mind but that didn't keep me from doing what I had been dreaming of for quite a while.

I walked over to Emmett and took his hand in mine. Rosalie looked surprised but didn't say anything as we walked over to Gabe who stood his ground looking at me with inscrutable eyes, ignoring Emmett even as both of us got face to face with him.

Our eyes locked and I refused to break the tie. I just let Emmett's hand drop; that was his cue.

In the corner of my eye it was a movement so swift, maybe faster than light, even Gabe missed it, probably because he had been looking at me.

Emmett put all his inhuman force into a single punch right into Gabe's gut. It sounded like a block of steel hitting another, after which Gabe went flying off several yards away and landed with a dull thud and grunt.

"Thanks," I said to Emmett who was grinning broadly. I knew for a fact he had been privately wishing Gabe returned just for this after I had asked if he would do it for me.

"No problem."

I gave a curt nod, glaring at Gabe's direction. He was still on the floor struggling to catch his breath.

"Welcome back!" I called out dryly and went back into the house.

* * *

"You promised you would never return," Carlisle fumed pacing the span of the room. Like the first time, the Cullens were settled on the side while Carlisle acted as judge in the library. The only difference this time was that Gabe was the only one expecting a verdict and going before a surprisingly temperamental jury. I was seated on the couch in the middle of Sable and Esme who had put a protective hand over mine. We all looked at Gabe who was seated right on the middle of the room, forsaken and alone.

"I break promises I don't like," Gabe replied nonchalantly.

"Do you have any idea in how much danger you put Bella just by returning?"

That actually shut Gabe's mouth and he gave a stiff nod.

"Your scent is finally receding," Carlisle added but Edward broke in furiously, "Don't you dare for a second think you can use her like that again."

Gabe rolled his eyes and was about to respond but Carlisle cut in, gesturing at Edward to back off, "Why did you come back Gabriel?"

"I missed you all, is that a crime?"

I cringed involuntarily at his casual sarcasm. I forced myself to suppress my amusement and try to convince myself that I hadn't missed his wise-crack remarks, I hadn't, really.

Carlisle rubbed his temples and closed his eyes, "You were the one who killed off the four trackers."

It was a statement, not a question so Gabe saved his breath and gave a simple nod. "As grateful as we are," Carlisle said, sounding surprisingly callous, "There are six of us; we were more than capable of dealing with four bounty trackers."

"Forgive me for not believing in you Carlisle," Gabe replied sounding just as cold, "Next time I'll try to be more supportive of your delusions."

I bit my tongue against bursting out with a biting comment against his jerky-ness. I refused to even waste a breath on him, not anymore.

"Let's just get down to the point, shall we?" Carlisle continued, giving up his pacing and leaning against the desk, folding his arms casually, "Why did you return Gabriel?"

Gabe looked like he wanted to drag on this a little further. He slumped further into his stiff chair and turned lazily to me, my breath caught in my chest but Esme gave my hand a squeeze and I came back to my senses and glared at him. He gave me a blank look and turned back to Carlisle, as if my scorching eyes had been no more than part of the wallpaper.

"I heard something a day or two ago while I was in Finland," Gabe finally began after a moment of stubborn silence, "It appears that the Priam has gotten hold of the fact that you are in alliance with me, you have become an enemy by association."

"The Priam? What is that?" Rosalie asked from the edge of the couch.

"The Priam," Carlisle responded looking disturbed, "Is an ancient coven that is made up of some of the most powerful elders."

"Is that the coven you belonged to?" Edward turned to Gabe who nodded.

"I came to warn you," Gabe continued idly, "My one good deed of the day."

The room went into a restless silence. Carlisle and Edward exchanged worried looks and Sable sat straight and tense by my side. Apparently this was the worst type of news that Gabe could have brought because even Emmett looked afraid.

"The Priam is almost a legend, many do not know for sure if they exist or not," Esme told me silently from the corner of her mouth, not moving her concerned eyes from Carlisle's strained face. "But they do, they live underground and come out only to hunt."

"How much time would you say we have before they come?" Carlisle finally asked, finishing off the soundless conversation with Edward.

Gabe looked up at the ceiling, maybe thinking or simply finding the overhead chandelier particularly compelling, "I am not sure," he finally answered, tearing his eyes from the ceiling.

"How can you be _'not sure'_?" Edward snapped furiously.

"The Priam is just a bunch of old narcissistic pricks," Gabe said resting his face on his hand, "They are so vain they probably think once you know they are on their way you will feel honored enough to wait patiently for them to arrive and kill you. So in all reality, they will take their time in coming, perhaps a day or two at the most."

It took a moment before everybody could swallow this new piece of information. Carlisle looked thoughtful for a moment before his eyes narrowed slightly at Gabe who had began to play with the torn scrap of shirt on his shoulder, "You came back just to warn us? That was extremely _considerate_ of you Gabriel."

"Wasn't it?" Gabe replied distractedly while ripping the scrap further down to his ribs.

"I know you do not think me stupid," Carlisle continued in a low voice standing straight from the desk. "So do me the courtesy of not treating me as if you do.

"Tell me Gabriel was that your only reason?" Carlisle asked glumly. He held Gabe's eyes steadily, something not even I could do for an extended period of time. I supposed that it was because unlike me Carlisle was immune to the breathtaking glowing green of them. Apparently Carlisle came triumphant out of the staring contest because Gabe finally caved.

"The Priam is on a completely different level. They are not anything like the stupid vagabond trackers. None of you would be able to survive it…I came to protect Bella."

_I came to protect Bella_

The five words rang in my ears but they didn't make sense. They contradicted with everything my brain had been rationalizing with me for the past week. Protect me…did he…no, he didn't…then why—what? Nothing made sense, he was speaking nonsense, maybe I had misheard.

"Oh, since you have done such a great job so far, using her and taking her away from her home." Sable spoke for the first time. I looked sideways at her, surprised at her protectiveness towards me and once again I felt the uncomfortable roll of guilt flow through me.

"She isn't dead is she?" Gabe replied snidely, "And it wasn't like she was enjoying being home much to begin with, she was miserable there."

The room went into a shocked silence…well shocked on my part at least. Apparently Gabe had known more about my life at Forks than what I had given him credit for. Except I had always thought he had stayed in the closet, happy to not see or know me.

"That didn't give you the right to ruin her life," Esme said angrily. "She was fine and safe until you decided to take her away."

"What you did…how you used her," Edward said almost in a whisper, his whole frame shaking with rage, "There is no excuse for that."

I opened my mouth to say…to say what? That it had been okay? But I realized Edward was right. There was no excuse, none whatsoever. All they had said and were saying was true. Gabe was a despicable man who seemed to never think of others at any given moment in time. That had been part of the angry speech I had been planning to give him after all. Along with the other countless ugly things…like the whole blunt axe thing.

"The Priam will come here whether I'm gone or not, so my return really doesn't make a difference on that account," Gabe was saying.

"If you leave there is still a chance we could ask for clemency when they arrive," Carlisle retorted going to sit behind his desk, finally calm and rational once more.

"Yes, you could do that," Gabe agreed, "but the Priam does not care for humans. Unlike you, they consider Bella a delicacy. If I were to leave they would kill her."

"We are more than able to protect her," Edward replied hotly.

"If clemency is what you want, going against their wishes and protecting a human they might consider sport is not the smart way to go.

"I could take her away again," Gabe suddenly added looking quickly sideways at me, "just until the Priam passes by and you convince them of your innocence in regards to helping me. Then I would bring her back and leave before they noticed my presence here again."

"Do you honestly believe we will let you take her?" Edward scoffed, "You are the whole reason this mess is taking place."

"You think you would do a better job in protecting her?" Gabe asked with mock skepticism, "I don't know…why don't you just go gel your hair some more, it seems to be about the only thing you are good at."

"Gabe, you are no one to comment on other people's hair. You don't even know what a brush is," I snapped harshly. I blinked and refrained from covering my mouth in regret like I wanted to. I had promised to not waste my breath on him anymore, which in all actuality meant never speaking to him ever again. Esme raised her eyebrow at me and Edward and Carlisle looked reproachfully at me as if by having criticized him, I had professed my forgiveness somehow.

Gabe tilted his head towards me and his face actually broke into one of those extremely rare smiles that lighted up his eyes, "That is uncalled for Bella you know I have no patience for grooming."

I gave him a dirty look and turned away from him trying to ignore the balloon inflating rapidly in my stomach. I had made him smile, big deal. It wasn't like it made me happy, or anything, I hated him after all.

Carlisle stared at us for a moment before finally going on as if the exchange hadn't happened, "If the Priam is to come then it would be for the best if Bella left. Your scent, though minor, still lingers on her. If she were to stay they would kill her, not to mention us as well."

He turned to the other Cullens, Edward specifically and said in a somber yet firm tone, "Gabriel will take Bella with him before the Priam arrives."

A shocked second passed by before the whole room burst into an incoherent cacophony of protest.

"You can't seriously consider this!"

"He is not trustworthy!"

"Carlisle, Bella is defenseless we cannot just let her go. She is our responsibility!"

"He wanted to have her killed, what are the odds he won't do it again?"

"The Priam is strong," Carlisle continued quietly, "If we are to survive this we have to stay _together_. I don't trust Gabriel anymore than you do but…if we all want to live, Bella included; this is the way it must be done."

"See? This is why I don't think you are stupid Carlisle," Gabe said but the compliment was lost in his patronizing tone and look, "You can be quite rational when you want to be."

Once more the room exploded in angry comments and insults aimed at Gabe who raised his eyebrow in response and smirked.

Carlisle didn't have to say a thing except hold up his hand and the noise stopped. He turned to Gabe and gazed at him sternly, weighing the possibilities.

"You will take Bella far from here to the destination of our choosing," he began, others tried to interrupt but he silenced them with a look, "We will keep constantly in touch. When the Priam is gone you will not come back, one of us will go to you and collect Bella."

I looked around the room. The others didn't look happy, except maybe for Rosalie who looked like she could care less, but I knew they had finally realized this was the way to go.

Edward broke forward and pulled me up from the couch and held me protectively by his side.

"He is not taking her," he seethed at Carlisle, "Countless times he has put Bella's life at risk. I won't allow it to happen again, I will not repeat my mistake."

"Edward, please be reasonable," Carlisle begged.

Edward held a firm grip on my arm and pushed me behind him, his face stubborn and set, "He is not taking her, not him."

"Edward this is not something up for discussion," Carlisle intervened approaching us slowly, as if not to startle Edward with a sudden move, "We are up to a corner here. It's the Priam we are talking about; they are vicious and extremely powerful. There are no other options, especially if we want to keep her safe."

Edward didn't budge but breathed heavily through his nostrils. I could see the possibilities going through his head, weighing the pros and cons of what he was doing.

"This is ridiculous; with every second that passes the Priam keeps getting closer" Gabe growled, "You are the only one putting Bella's life on the line with your theatrics."

I looked down at the polished hardwood floor and felt my eyes begin to water for the gazillion time. This was for me, all these discussions, family discords, lives at stake…all for me. I was truly beginning to reach my breaking point. It was all just so ridiculous, I wasn't worth it and I told them.

"That is nonsense Bella," Esme immediately responded getting up from the couch in a flash.

I shook my head and gently broke the hold Edward had on my arm and stepped away from him, "No, this has to stop now. I can't take it anymore, everybody is putting their lives on the line for me and I'm—that is…I'm just not worth it."

I walked backwards to the doorway willing for them to stay away from me. Nobody moved but they looked like they wanted to rush over and pull me back…protect me. While I felt so grateful, I loved them all so much, but my brain screamed at me how pitiful I was how unimportant a person. Why were they willing to do this? I didn't get it.

"I'm going to leave—by myself," I said clearly, glad that my voice didn't crack, "I don't want anybody to protect me, or follow me. It's dumb, really. I'm just a stupid human girl after all."

* * *

I ran up the carpeted stairs, down the corridor and slammed the door to the room locking it behind me. Despite my bold words I was unsure of what to do next. Be on my own…in a completely different continent I knew nothing about with murderers on my trail…I would have my work cut out for me. But I was adamant about doing this. It was true that I didn't have powers of my own or superhuman strength, but it didn't matter. I would survive on my own and if I was to fail, it would be okay. At least I wouldn't take anybody down with me.

I paced like a caged lion feeling myself getting worked up with every step I took.

I could do this, yes I could. It was time to stop hiding under other people's skirts and take a hold of my own life.

There was yells from downstairs but I ignored them, even when there was a thunderous loud crashing noise below me I kept a steady, unconcerned pace.

I continued my furious tempo but even though the noise downstairs hadn't bothered me, when a sharp knock came on one of the windows I shrieked in surprise and felt my heart go up my throat. On the outside I could see Gabe give an impatient gesture for me to open the window. I ignored him and sat on the bed with my back to him, crossing my arms. That would show him…

"Bella, I don't have to be invited in," he called to me, his tone sounding dull even through the pane of glass, "I can just break the window."

I blinked and cursed under my breath, he was right.

No matter how I saw it, there was no way for the window to be spared and for me to keep ignoring him…

Grudgingly I went over and turned the latch. He pushed it open and I moved away, glaring at him.

"You aren't happy," he stated while shaking a hand through his hair so that the droplets of the outside rain dispersed, "Nobody is, what happened to all the sweet love, cotton candy and rainbows from this family? Carlisle is angry I returned and your little boyfriend threw a pianoforte at me to keep me from coming up."

"It's a pity he missed."

"He didn't," he said conversationally sitting back on the window pane, "I assume they told you what I did".

"You assume correctly," I replied coldly.

Silence settled once more in which we stared at each other, both unwilling to cave. He looked calm and uncaring as always which just didn't improve my mood. I wanted to cause a reaction in him, I thought of calling Emmett up here to pound him a bit but the element of surprise had been used already.

"What do you want from me Bella?" he finally asked.

Okay, I wanted to choke him.

"What do _I_ want?" my voice came out low and strangled from my anger. "You were the one who treated me like a sheep ready for slaughter! You were the one who lied! You are the one who came back. I think the question here is what do _you_ want, huh, _Gabriel_?"

Like always my voice and anger fell to indifferent ears. He tilted his head and actually began to think about it placidly as if I had just asked him if he wanted oatmeal or chocolate chip cookies.

Hmm…decisions, decisions…

I couldn't take it anymore; he was the epitome of annoyance. I went over and kicked him as hard as I could on the shins. There was only a second of satisfaction before the throbbing pain on my foot settled in.

"It hurts!" I gasped foolishly almost falling over. Needless to say this was not dignifying in any way.

Gabe reached forward to catch me and settle me on the bed as my eyes watered from pain.

"I could have told you as much," he said amused, looking down at me, "Would you like for me to call the muscle head and have him try instead?"

"Shut up!"

He was laughing and I was furious, when had we changed roles in this relationship?

I sat on the bed and rubbed my foot avoiding his eyes, this was going into my top ten list of most embarrassing moments.

"If you are seriously injured I could call Carlisle," he offered sitting next to me a minute later after he had stopped laughing at me.

"Stop being nice, I hate you!" I snapped sliding myself away from him on the bed.

"Alright," he replied folding his arms and staring at me.

"Why did you come back?" I finally asked feeling like this was getting us no where.

"I already answered that, to protect you," he answered promptly.

I opened my mouth furious at his direct and seemingly honest answer. Yet it was amazingly unsatisfying, it made no sense. _Him_ protect _me_? What was I missing from this picture? Didn't he hate me? I felt the pain dull slowly and thought for a moment, I needed a different answer.

"Why did you hurt me?"

For the first time I was glad to get a real reaction. His face tightened and he looked taken aback.

"You kicked me, you hurt yourself."

I shook my head looking at him steadily, that hadn't been what I meant and he knew it.

"That was never my intention, if you really want to know," he finally said looking out the window. The overcast dawn sky had begun to clear and the sun was rising bright and fresh. The rays didn't hit him directly but the light still made his skin cast a glowing sheen about him.

"Only for me to become vampire beef jerky," I stated dryly.

"It was only consequential if you look at it that way," he said shrugging.

My mouth gaped open, _consequential if you look at it that way?_! Before I could give an angry retort he continued, "Besides, I said I would keep you alive, and I meant it."

I narrowed my eyes at him still confused, "Edward said that I was suppose to be your bait."

"He was right," Gabe said bluntly.

"Okay then if I was the bait, why did you drag me along? Wasn't the whole point for you to hightail right away and let me take the fall?"

He paused a moment, still looking off out the window, deep in thought, "Yes, I suppose it was," he finally answered.

"Stop being so enigmatic and give a straight answer!"

"You are yelling Bella, since when are you so dramatic?"

My hands actually itched to reach forward and strangle him. It was like he was dancing me around in circles, spinning and spinning, hoping I would be too dizzy to stay coherent.

"Tell me the truth Gabriel," I finally said forcing my voice to be low and controlled.

He turned to me and I almost gasped at the intensity in his eyes, "How can I do that…" he said just as low and deliberate, "if I don't know myself? I just reacted; there was no major thought put into it.

"I wanted a scapegoat, I got it. I wanted to protect you; I did. I wanted to come back, here I am," he laid back on the bed with no more emotion than a pin, the intensity gone. "At least I took down those four trackers; I don't know what you are so angry about."

"You broke your promise!"

It took a moment before he remembered what I was talking about then took the defensive, "I kept my word. I said I would let you know when I left—for good. I returned so my absence didn't count as a departure."

"You used me, you didn't care if I died or not."

Gabe turned silently from me to the ceiling, I sighed falling back against the pillows, feeling emotionally drained. He didn't get it; did he really lack a conscious? A soul?

"I suppose I did, but I'm not sure why."

"You did what?" I asked him wearily, my voice muffled from a pillow I had placed over my face.

"Cared if you died or not, why else would I have kept you alive?" he asked me. It actually sounded like it wasn't a rhetorical question. I uncovered my face and looked at him; he sat up expectantly for an answer as if I was supposed to know the mad reasoning behind his blank face. Seriously…he wanted an answer for his actions. I suppose he didn't realize we were having this painfully unyielding conversation because I didn't get him at all to begin with.

"You asked me what I wanted from you," I finally said sitting up again, hugging the pillow to my chest. I felt the anger in me drain away, leaving me empty and light, like a vessel made out of rice paper. "I did want something but…it would've been nice if I didn't have to ask for it…if you just gave it freely."

For a moment he looked blank like always but then he frowned raking his fingers through his hair in a surprisingly human gesture of unease.

Feeling oddly excited by this new turn of behavior I scooted closer to him, "You have to put feeling behind it," I said almost in a hush. He looked down at my face and I could see this was difficult for him for some reason.

"I don't remember ever having done it before," he finally admitted. My mouth gaped open at how unsure and restless he sounded. It was as if a gap, or possibly a simple crack had appeared on the giant wall he kept around himself.

"It's not that difficult Gabe," I assured him softly leaning closer, "You just have to mean it."

"Mean it?"

I nodded feeling almost feverish, this was big, would he do it?

He took a breath and turned fully to me so that we were face to face, his green eyes burned into mine.

"Alright, uh…do I just do it? Yes?"

I nodded gravely hugging the pillow tighter and leaning closer to him to get a clearer look of his eyes. He grimaced but also leaned forward so that our faces were impossibly close.

It was like watching a silent movie, his mouth moved but no sound came out. I was extremely amused, this had never happened before, I Bella Swan, notorious weak human girl, had left the badass vampire speechless. It was fun. He gave an irritated grunt, drove his fingers through his hair in consternation again and cleared his throat. "Okay…It's easy, it's just two words, I can say them," he said more to himself than to me.

"Two words, come on get them out," I prodded, smiling at his discomfort.

"I'm sorry Bella," he finally said, "for everything, for hurting you."

"Do you mean it?" I asked in a trembling whisper. More than two words, it had been better than I had expected.

"I have never asked forgiveness from anyone before," he said ingenuously, "if that doesn't assure you of my sincerity, I don't know what will."

I stared into his eyes trying to see if there was dishonesty lurking beneath the brilliant green. Gabe stared back but then blinked and turned away, looking despondent. My amazement grew by the second; the crack in his wall was expanding. Slowly but surely I was getting through to him.

I exhaled pleased, unaware that I had been holding my breath, "Apology accepted…but I'm still mad at you."

He nodded, accepting this fact but stood up ripping the pillow from my grasp,

"Alright, lets go."

"I meant what I said," I replied stubbornly, getting a different pillow and holding that one instead, "I am going off on my own, without the Cullens, without you Gabe."

Gabe looked down at me patiently as if I was a child throwing a tantrum and was waiting for it to pass. Again he took the pillow from me and threw it aside, except that this time he pulled me up from the bed.

"You are forgetting you are just a stupid human girl," he said standing me erect before him, his hands on my slouched shoulders. I looked down and tried to step away but his grip was firm. "This means you are weak…and dumb."

"I suppose there is a point among all the insults?" I asked sourly, trying to keep back fresh tears.

"Yeah…the Cullens…me…we can protect you if we want, and you can't stop us Bella, did that ever occur to you?"

I tried once more to shake his hands off of me, "And I said that has to stop, that is why I'm leaving, now let go."

He did but it was so abrupt I stumbled backwards and had to grab the edge of the bed to keep from falling.

"I'm going to pick you up now, and we are going to leave," he said slowly and patiently, still treating me like a child. "You can scream and cry if you want, I don't care."

True to his word he reached down and scooped me up like a rag doll. I gasped at his forcefulness.

"Put me down! I'm going to scream!" I squealed in his hold which was like a statue was holding me up, "I'll call Edward," I warned, "He'll kick your ass!"

"Carrot top?" he asked scathingly while going over to the window, which he had left open, "Wow, you sure know how to scare me."

"I want to talk to Carlisle!" I said hurriedly beginning to feel panicky as he maneuvered his body and mine so that I wouldn't get my head bashed on the pane. "I want to know the details, where are you going to take me? How long are we going to be there? When are they going to go for me?"

"Oh, that," he said jumping lithely to the ground, "Well, you see, they didn't exactly tell me."

My eyes widened and I renewed my struggles. An ugly realization was starting to become clear as he looked furtively behind him and began to run at top speed. "They don't know we are leaving, do they Gabe?" I yelled at him, my voice still carrying despite the loud wind he created by running.

"Don't be such a spoil sport Bella. We have to get a head start before the Priam arrives," he said raising his voice to be heard.

I closed my eyes and felt the rapid wind on my face. This was wrong, so wrong. The Cullens would worry so much…

"Take me back! You are kidnapping me!" I accused scandalized.

"It does sound bad when you put it that way," he conceded fairly, but his running became faster, if possible. I buried my face in the nook of his chest and arm, and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life but not before noticing that once more a smile had spread over his face.

* * *

**I read the first three chapters of this story and I was like, "Holy poop, I wrote this?" Which is to show just how bad my memory can get. I noticed that I have been evolving Gabe gradually without noticing...oh well, I guess it came naturally, he wouldn't have been any fun if he had stayed silent and dirty. Anywhoos yo, review my lovelies, review. Can you all sense an ending approaching?**

**...because I can.**


	13. The Priam

**I am a bad person, okay I am aware of that thank you for the emails my dears. Well, BlackWingy is officially a high school graduate! Mwahaha! The excitement has now worn off and I have all the time in the world to update. This is not the last chapter, I thought it would be but when I looked at the page count it was at seventeen and I was like "oh doody, I have to write two more chapters." Which in all reality sucks cuz I don't want this to drag. Anyhoos, this is one of my least favoriet chaps, but that is just me. You give me your own thoughts on the matter wonderful people.**

The Priam

It had been hours, I wasn't sure how many. The exposed skin in my body had long ago been completely numbed by the consistent harsh exposure of the cold wind which had begun to grow increasingly mild as Gabe ran on. In the back of my mind I discerned we were probably heading south.

I had tried countless times unsuccessfully to get him to stop and talk to me but it was impossible, Gabe was a man on a mission. He had said he wanted a great distance between us and Prague, away from the incoming threat of the Priam. It was either that or he didn't want to stop so that I wouldn't start yelling at him. I suspected it was the latter. I wanted it all to be over already, not just so that I could yell at him, but because my body was screaming in protest at the position in his stiff arms it had been in for the past hours. My back was killing me…

Unable to take it anymore I managed to pry my hands from each other, though they were frozen stiff and poked him sharply on the side of his neck. He spared me an annoyed look. For a moment I thought he would ignore me but them I felt a sudden combined sensation of heaviness and lightness all over my body and skin as he came to a completely sudden halt.

"Put me down," I ordered sounding somewhat garbled because my jaw had been painfully clenched almost the entire time.

He obeyed but had to keep an arm around my waist as I stretched my stiff legs and straightened my back. I winced and felt a sudden head rush that left me blinking spots of green light.

"That's it," I groaned, wishing fervently my stomach wouldn't turn on me, "I am walking the rest of the way."

"It will take too much time," he argued, "it is still a long way off."

"Well get a bus or something," I snapped lowering myself carefully to the ground, my legs hadn't been strong enough to hold me. I had begun to shake and I could feel the sickness rise gradually. I took a deep breath through my nose and willed it to calm. I knew that if I threw up in front of him it would be something I wouldn't be able to live down.

"There isn't any mode of transportation here Bella," Gabe replied irritated though he was attempting to be patient. I looked up at him owlishly and looked around for the first time. He had been running for most of the day apparently because it was already nightfall. A brilliantly white full moon was the only source of light since we were in a vacant country side road. There were hills that went up and down all around us and the only sound was the faint stirring of the tall grass around as the light cool breeze blew about it. I looked and looked but despite the beauty of the millions of twinkling stars spread above us I began to feel desperation, there was definitely no Greyhound Bus station here.

"This was stupid of you, you know that right?" I glared at him and got up slowly, ready to let go of the steam that had been building up for the past hours. Apparently he realized this because he took a step away from me and gave a quick look around as if searching for an escape. "Now the Cullens have no idea where I am. How in the world are they suppose to come for me now, tell me genius?"

My voice which had begun soft and controlled was gaining volume and my eyes felt warm and moist as my anger grew, "I suppose you don't care what happens to them right? No, why should you? You are a heartless, selfish, tactless, idiotic, _moronic_ piece of—"

"Bella get a hold of yourself," Gabe snapped but still took another step back.

We held a staring contest for a few minutes on the abandoned country side. I refused to loose but he was a pro at this after all.

"Promise to me you will never lie," I ordered forcefully. When he didn't reply I went on, "I—I don't care if you are using me," I said thickly, "If you plan to hang me on a tree and leave me for the Priam to find me…just tell me. Don't lie to make it better by telling me you want to protect me…it doesn't make it better, it makes it worse."

"I promise to never lie to you again," he finally said flatly, standing with his hands deep in his pockets staring at me with his inscrutable glowing green eyes.

"You told Carlisle you broke promises you didn't like," I reminded him acidly.

He shrugged and smirked, "Yeah well, I didn't like him."

"So…you will keep this one because you like me," I stated raising my eyebrow at him. This reasoning seemed to catch him off guard.

"I don't—"

"You just promised me you wouldn't lie," I reminded him grinning triumphantly, "You like me, admit it."

He set his mouth in a grim line and turned to walk determinately down the road.

My exhaustion forgotten I rushed after him skipping.

"Ha! You didn't deny it because you can't lie!" I gushed, "You like me, you really do Gabe. Aww, I feel all cozy and mushy inside."

"Bella, I swear, if the Priam doesn't get you I will," he grumbled in the corner of his mouth, looking resolutely at the road ahead.

I laughed and kept an airy and steady pace next to him, "I don't know why you are so shy about it Gabe. I like you too, lets be BFFs."

"Lets not," he retorted giving me one of his old quelling looks.

* * *

"Are you doing this intentionally to bug me or are you just blind?" I asked dryly as I eyed myself in a full length mirror. I was past horror now and had reached a plane of drained surrender. When had it been the last time I had been able to dress myself? I really couldn't recall. The new grey dress was of a light, faded cotton material with long sleeves, a starched collar and reached almost to my ankles. "I look Amish."

Gabe stopped behind me to look at the mirror. I could see the corners of his mouth twitching suspiciously but he managed to keep a straight face when replying, "A very cute Amish."

He left to the other side of the room to make a call on the phone, probably to order me food. I stood before the mirror lost for words. What did one reply to that? My reflection looked confused and flustered. He had called me cute…what did I say back?

What did he mean? Should I even reply? I looked at him hurriedly but he was too busy on the phone to even have noticed I hadn't replied. I breathed a sigh of relief but felt instantly stupid afterwards. What was wrong with me? I was acting unusually childish for some reason.

I went over and sat at the edge of the fifth or sixth new bed…I couldn't keep track anymore. We were in a small hotel in Pogradec. It was quite touristy which Gabe said would help us stay somewhat inconspicuous. I had bitten back a response to that when he had told me. I didn't really feel like pointing out to him that having the ability to immobilize any female in the vicinity (and some occasional males) when they just happened to glance at him, didn't really categorize him as "inconspicuous". But hey, I had to humor the guy.

"Okay so what do we do now?" I asked him once he had put the receiver down. He turned to me and shrugged disdainfully. "You don't honestly expect me to sit around quietly in this room for days, do you?"

His carefully blank expression told me that he had, in fact expected that of me. At my sudden furious expression he put on hastily, "Well, not "quietly", I know you would never be able to accomplish that. So…you can talk."

"You are so generous Mother Theresa," I spat and crossed the room to the window. I half expected him to stop me but I was able to look out at the expanded cloudless sky and sprawling commercial town. It all looked so soothing and calm. The hills were impossibly emerald green even in this time of the year. It occurred to me at that moment that I would have never been able to see this beautiful foreign country along with other things, in my entire life if I hadn't met Gabe. If he hadn't arrived in my life when he had I would have remained in Forks, pinning for Edward and making Charlie's life miserable. I thought back to those never ending overcast days and compared them to the bright sight before me. I suppressed a shudder at the possibility of having remained there.

"So you aren't going to talk?" Gabe said coming over to the side of the window the sun rays didn't touch and leaning against it, shrouded in shadow, "Or are you still sulking for hanging up on your boyfriend?"

My eyes widened at the reminder and I snapped my mouth shut. I turned my head sharply away and walked to the other side of the room, the classical silent treatment. I ignored his almost inaudible chuckle across the room. The truth was my anger was merely for show. He was just baiting me and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of responding.

After my constant nagging and occasional pokes as he carried me around, I had finally managed to convince Gabe to contact the Cullens. Later during a long phone discussion with several people in several different dialects in which Gabe would occasionally glare at me, he finally managed to get a hold of Carlisle in the clinic he worked at in Prague. Gabe would roll his eyes, apparently annoyed at whatever Carlisle was chastising him for. I had bitten my nails down to shreds at the suspenseful conversation in which Gabe would only give monotonous replies of, "No", "Yes", "Okay", and my personal favorite, "I don't care".

It seemed like an eternity until Gabe finally passed me the phone looking somber.

"Bella! Bella, are you alright?" Carlisle's voice crackled through the bad connection. His voice sounded as if it was coming through a long tunnel that made his words echo a fraction of a second after he said them.

"I'm fine, really," I gushed feeling relieved I could subside their worries. "Please tell Esme and the others everything is okay and not to worry."

"How can we not worry Bella?" Carlisle's voice came through sounding exasperated, "The Priam is after you and we can't do anything to keep you safe."

"But I _am_ safe," I tried to assure him, "Really, it was better for me to leave. Are all of you alright?"

"What? Oh—yes, yes we are all fine. But Bella this coven, they mean business," even through the poor line I could hear and even sense Carlisle's distress, it made me edgy especially at his next words, "What they want is what they get…and what they want is Gabriel head on a pike."

"Th—that's a bit graphic, don't you think?" I replied weakly trying to lighten the subject as I shot a worried glance at Gabe who was staring at the floor, an amused smirk playing on his face. I realized he could her Carlisle just fine a few feet away despite I couldn't hear him myself even though his voice was right next to my ear.

"It is the truth," Carlisle continued seriously, "they pardoned us just by a stroke of luck but I don't think that will be the case with you. They don—no, Edward, please let me do this—"

A muffled struggle in which I couldn't make out what was being said happened but when it stopped it was Edwards's voice to come through the deep tunnel this time.

"Bella, are you okay? Where are you?" He demanded furiously. My insides did a somersault at the simple sound of his deep tones.

"Edward, I am fine," I managed to make out, feeling immensely comforted the Priam hadn't gotten to him.

"Tell me where you are, I'll go get you right now," he said, his voice cutting off randomly. "Prague is safe now that they passed, you'll be safe here," he was saying.

I blinked but stammered unsure, "B-but, if I return my scent—."

"Gabriel told Carlisle his scent has already faded from yours completely," he interposed impatiently.

I turned to look once more at Gabe wondering which of the many "Yes" "Yeah" or "No" had been the answer to that. He gave no sign to my look; his smile had faded completely, any expression had faded completely for that matter.

"Bella, please," Edward continued, "Just give me your location, you are not safe there. He can't protect you," when I remained silent he changed his tactic, "Without you he will be able to evade the Priam much easily. This makes much more sense Bella, _tell me where you are_."

At that time I had looked up at Gabe and realized he was giving me the choice. By not rushing over to take away the receiver from me or making an attempt to stop me from giving Edward the information he wanted, Gabe was giving me the sole choice of what to do with my life. By telling Edward, he would come and take me away from the fearful situation I was in. My life and Gabe's would be a little much safer. By declining his offer and continuing on the run I would maintain my life in peril and be a thorn on Gabe's side by simply slowing him down.

All of this went through my mind on that moment as I stared at Gabe who finally looked up at me, his face carefully blank. When I didn't look away he simply gave a noncommittal shrug that clearly said _It's your choice_, then turned sharply away from me.

"Bella! Bella, are you still there?" Edward's sharp voice made me jump.

"Yes, I'm still here," I replied softly, feeling oddly heavy as if my limbs were feeling the tension of my choices. It wasn't all that hard, really. It was just common sense to accept Edward's offer, the safer and wiser choice.

"Just tell me Bella," Edward repeated. _Just tell me Bella_, the echo demanded as well.

"I can't."

A small buzz followed my response. I had wondered where the odd mechanical sound was coming from but then I had realized it came from the ear piece. It was the sound of silence in the bad phone connection. In the corner of my peripheral sight Gabe had straightened from his slouching posture to turn to look at me.

After a moment Edward's voice appeared again sounding strained, "What did you say Bella?"

My grip on the phone became slippery as my hand began to get clammy. What did I tell him? How could I explain my obviously moronic decision? It didn't make sense after all, to remain in a state of constant paranoia and dread of being killed from one day to the next in contrast to being hauled of to safety by people who cared for me. At the end I realized that there wasn't anything I could tell him that would suffice, that would make him _really_ understand. So, tongue-tied and feeling foul I did the only thing that was left to do. I hang up.

Was I being stupid? Absolutely

Did I even have a reason to behave so stupidly? Yes I did, as a matter of fact.

I knew Edward would have scoffed at it, Carlisle would have shaken his head at me in exasperation. Thankfully Gabe had refrained from asking me why I had chosen to remain with him because I was not sure he would have liked my reasoning any better than Edward or Carlisle would've. He was too proud for it.

It made no difference, my choice had been made and I wasn't about to change it. My reason was good enough for me and that was what mattered.

Now in the sizeable small hotel room as I gazed at Gabe who was trying to look out of the window while struggling to keep his tall frame out of the sun's reaches I felt my resolve stubbornly strengthen.

I did not want to leave him by himself. That was my reason and if anybody chose to ridicule me for it, including him, I didn't care. I remembered my first sight of him in that big, vacant house. He had been crouched on a corner in the darkness, all alone. The very idea of it filled me with sadness, if I left would that happen again? Would he laugh again or show his awkward grin, or even lash out with his acerbic remarks to others? For some reason my gut told me he wouldn't. Gabe was the type to draw into himself and not care for company though he might need it. Only when it was forced onto him as I had done was when he would warily accept it.

It was a well known fact that I was a freak. Only a person like me would attempt to befriend a vampire and I was afraid he, being so reserved and antisocial, would never find anybody else.

Someday I would have to explain my reason to the Cullens, they would have to understand. I knew they didn't like him any more than he did them but I knew they would understand…and Edward…I would make him understand.

So I would remain with him for as long as I would be able, for as long as he would allow.

* * *

"I'm getting claustrophobic," I whined a week later tossing a discarded piece of roll at Gabe who was seated on a recliner on the corner of an entirely new hotel room in an altogether new country. He sat silently staring at the wall behind me.

"Stick your head out of the window," he replied blandly catching the roll on two fingers without even looking at it.

_"Stupid vampire reflexes,"_ I thought darkly but then sensing a new form of entertainment I began to aim at him the rest of my uneaten dinner. With a vacant expression and a distracted glaze on his eyes as they gazed at the beige wall Gabe would catch every piece of food without giving me a second look.

Once my last piece of cut pear had been grasped and discarded to the side by him I sighed and bit my lip. I wanted for him to look at me; to take away that empty look to his eyes I sensed could only mean trouble. After the thick silence settled once more I wrung my hands on my lap. He was too silent and for Gabe that was saying something. His silence was not the brooding type I was used to or the irritated silence for when he was listening to me talk and wanted me to shut up. This one was an empty silence I was not accustomed to, it was new and it made me worry.

It had been happening gradually day by day. I would wake up in the morning to find him somewhere on the room seated or standing simply lost in his own thoughts. If my eyes had opened too fast for him to react, I would occasionally catch him staring at me which made me even more self-conscious of the idea that he probably had stared at me all night.

His gradually changing attitude had me at my wits' end. I couldn't help but feel apprehensive at whatever thoughts that were mulling in his enigmatic head. A gut feeling told me I would not like it whenever I found out.

"Gabe, are you alright?" I finally forced myself to ask. He didn't even blink from his constant drilling of the wall.

"I'm fine."

Then nothing…no more to it, he was _'fine'_.

My hands clenched each other tightly until I could feel my knuckles turning white.

"They are getting closer, right?" I guessed, "The Priam is finally catching up to us…"

Finally he blinked out of his stupor and turned to me to give a small nod, it was more of a jerk or twitch of the head.

"You are…scared aren't you Gabe?"

_"That is what your silence is about,"_ I realized grimly.

"I'm beginning to think we won't be able to outrun them," he said softly leaning back on the chair further. His eyes no longer had that far away look to them. They were dark and dull with discontent.

My mouth went dry at this monumental declaration. I gulped and pried my hands apart before they would cut each other's circulation. If Gabe, who so far had been confident of getting out of this situation fine, was declaring defeat, what could be done about it?

"So you think they will get us soon right?"

"They might," he conceded but then sat up and stared at me with a penetrating might. I cringed at his forceful eyes, knowing that I would not like whatever came out of his mouth next.

"I'm going to call the Cullens," he announced dully standing up with an air of finality.

My mouth snapped open and hanged like that as I saw the tall vampire moodily grab a calling card from next to the room phone and begin dialing. In a flash I rushed over to his side and tore the phone away feeling panicky.

"Why are you going to do that?" I gasped perplexed.

"So that they come and get you," he responded in a tone that clearly stated he thought me a moron for not figuring it out. He reached over and pulled the receiver from my grasp but I pulled it back, holding onto it for dear life.

"Bella let go," Gabe said pulling with enough force that dragged me and made me slam onto him rather painfully.

"Okay you non-communicative prick," I said letting go and trying to control my sudden hyperventilation. After turning his back to me to continue his dialing, Gabe began to talk to the operator. I walked idly around him and reached down the wall to rip the phone cord from it.

A sharp, resounding plastic crack let me know Gabe was not too happy with my action. He turned to glare at me furiously, the phone broken on his ear, half of it dangling by red and yellow wires.

I met his look evenly and planted myself before him, "Okay, now explain—_please_."

Throwing the phone aside he scowled down at me, "I'm going to call the Cullens," he began angrily, 'because you don't have to be here."

I blinked and took a step back, "Of course I do."

"Of course you don't," he muttered in an undertone.

"You don't have to be here because you are free Bella. You are free of my scent completely. You could change clothes once more, walk out of here and head to Prague by yourself and the Priam would not bother looking at you twice. You _don't_ have to be here."

"I know I don't," I began trying to sound rational, "but I am, so there really is no point involving the Cullens again."

"Bella," Gabe began looking down at me seriously, "Do you have a death wish? Is that it? Do you want to die, because that is what will happen if you stay with me; they will catch up to us and they will kill you."

_I don't care_, was what I wanted to snap but instead I took a different turn, "Then why didn't you tell the Cullens where we were before when you had the chance? Why didn't you stop me from hanging up on them Gabe? Please tell me that."

"Because I wasn't thinking, alright!" he exclaimed exasperated. "I should have told Carlisle right after he said they weren't in danger anymore, it was stupid of me."

I breathed heavily and tried to think straight despite a growing unease, "Gabe, are you telling me that you want me to go?"

Like always his stoic manner got the best of him and he withdrew himself from me, his expression becoming blank and unyielding.

"Yes, I want you to go. It will make everything easier—for the both of us."

It was as if the law of gravity had changed and the atmosphere was getting heavier. I could feel an odd pressure constricting my entire body, mostly my chest. He wanted for me to leave…

"If I go," I began carefully, "I will never see you again, will I?"

"Never again," he confirmed, his face tightening. He went over to pick the phone from the ground and tossed it unceremoniously on the bedside table. After that he began to fuss with a plastic bag where my old clothes were kept. I watched him in detached silence, wondering why my insides seemed to have disappeared and my body felt so cold.

"And…that is what you want?" I asked not even bothering to keep my voice from cracking.

_"Don't say it Gabe," _my head implored pitifully, _"Don't you dare say it. You promised you would never lie to me again…if you say it, it will be true so please don't…"_

Gabe finally turned to face me. I barely noticed just how dark his eyes had become on the past couple of days. He hadn't fed for being with me all day, and I hadn't even realized it. Gabe thrust the plastic bag under my nose, when I didn't take it he deposited at my feet.

I refused to move or even breathe as I waited for his reply. His face looked more like a stone mask than ever. For a second I thought I could really see how ancient he was by the empty solidness of it.

"Yes, that is what I want," he finally answered. "I don't want to see you ever again."

I eyed his expression of set determination wondering if there was any conceivable way he could be lying to me but no, he had promised after all…

_"Well, at least it isn't raining this time_," I managed to think a brief second before the pain struck. Had it really been this bad the first time around? Somehow, I didn't think so. It was as if the first cut on my heart had been reopened to bleed anew by a completely bigger and newer gash. The memory of him months ago sitting in my closet came to mind…he had slammed the door on my face then. He shut me out completely now.

"I have been very selfish, haven't I Gabe?" I asked him, my voice astoundingly calm and normal for somebody who was dying on the inside. The only thing that betrayed my emotions were the ever-present tears I didn't bother to contain as they trickled down slowly. "I'm such a horrible person. If it wasn't for me the Priam would not be so near to you, you wouldn't be in trouble at all. I have held you back…and you know what the worst part is?"

"It is not your fault Bella I—" he tried to intercede but I cut him off.

"Yes, yes it is because the worst part is I have known all along I'm the one holding you back but I still wanted to keep you. I can be safe somewhere else without bothering you but instead I stay here."

My tears got the best of my voice, smothering it in a sob. He didn't want me here. He hadn't wanted me _with_ him all along. My reasoning to stay with him so that he would not be alone seemed idiotic and childish to me now, even stupid actually.

It wasn't until now that I recognized to myself that I hadn't done an act of nobility by choosing to remain with him, but a selfish one.

"I wanted to be with you," I finally declared for my benefit as much for his. With the words right out on the open I noticed how true they really were. I rephrased it just to hear myself admit it again, "I wanted for you to stay with me."

Gabe remained silent but he turned away, unwilling to look at me. For some reason that was the last straw, it even hurt more than his words.

I picked the bag as if on a trance and headed to the door.

I wanted for him to stop me.

I wanted so many things as a matter of fact. I wanted for this nightmare to be over, and for us to stop fearing for our lives, I wanted for him to remain with me, I wanted for him to be happy and smile all the time not just once every month…I wanted…

"No Bella! Don't open the door!" he yelled behind me as I swung the oak door wide open.

I turned to him ecstatic he had changed his mind; he did want me to stay after all…

His pale petrified expression was the last thing I saw before a sharp pain exploded on my neck, then everything went black.

* * *

"…This was so fun wasn't it Lily? I mean, it got annoying at times but it was just so _fun_!"

"Yes it was, and exciting too. I haven't had so much fun since I was a lady's maid for Elizabeth."

"Bathory?"

"Why of course, the countess was such a riot, a great lady of her times."

"Yes, yes of course you are right, she was a lovely woman wasn't she Gabrielly?"

"She was revolting."

"…"

"You know, you never change my dear. Always so mean and spiteful, you should be merrier."

"I'm smiling in the inside Lillian."

Gabe's voice…I could hear it in the deep darkness I was in, monotonous as always. It heightened my senses as I came to. A faint pain on the crown of my head pulsed along with my heart beat and made me groan.

"She's finally waking up see? I told you she was just unconscious," another voice said. It was deep and low but still had the smooth harmonious feel to it. The very sound of it had made my eyes snap open in alarm. It had been close to me, almost too close…

My eyes widened in shock and cold fear as I saw a pale pointed face looking down at mine only inches away.

"It's okay Bella, stay still," Gabe said in a calm tone somewhere far off.

It wasn't all that hard to obey. I was petrified already as it was at the situation I had awoken to anyways.

Under the cover of towering pine trees in a clearing of what I guessed was the forest that had surrounded the bed and breakfast we had been in earlier, I was being held on the lap of what was unmistakably a member of the Priam.

I reasoned there was no other possibility. Especially since I _knew_ he was an elder. It wasn't like he wore a tag stating his seniority but by simply looking at him one could be able to somehow sense the power shroud him even though he looked no older than twenty. Maybe it was his ruby red eyes that had no black pupils, the auburn hair that was cut short but still managed to look so thin and airy like spider web. Or maybe it was his white skin, so rigid and smooth, almost stretched out without the shadow of a wrinkle. No, that was not it…he glowed, literally.

The sun had set almost fully so the sky was a combination of darkness, indigo and red. There weren't any powerful enough rays to cause a vampire to sparkle even slightly but the man holding me didn't seem to need the sun in order to shine. His skin cast the glow about him as if the light was coming from within. It wasn't extremely bright, but bright enough to categorize him as in 'glow in the dark'. The fact that he was cradling me gently on his arms as he sat crossed legged leaning placidly on a thick pine tree didn't make him any less frightening.

I held my body stiff as a board in his hold and tried not to breath.

"Look at her, you terrify her Emerand," a woman said whose voice I recognized as being the one Gabe had called Lillian. She sounded as if me being terrified was the cutest thing in the world. I was only grateful her cooing voice was able to soften her appearance.

Though she, like the man Emerand, glowed slightly, it wasn't as pronounced as him. Her jet black hair like his was cut short and looked impossibly thin. But while his hair laid well groomed on his head, hers stood up on odd angles as if she was suffering a bad case of bed head. Instinctively I cringed and shrunk into the man's arms as she approached. Her eyes, maroon instead of bright red still had their black pupils but her eyebrows were set so high she had a look of perpetual surprise and slight dementia, it was a frightening sight.

"She has doe eyes, scared and innocent," Emerand said in his low voice looking dotingly down at me. "You always had such good taste Gabriel."

I looked up at Gabe who was standing rigid and tall in the middle of the clearing a few yards away from me. His face was chiseled stone, striking and yet unyielding as always.

"Pureness, that is a rare beauty to possess," a sad voice added. As if it could get any worse, there was another man with the same colored eyes and pale features leaning on the same tree looking down at us. Though he probably had been converted on his early thirties he still looked older. It was because of his somber, almost depressed expression, as if he were at a funeral, or as if his puppy had died. By the droop on his eyes and sagging of his face I could tell this was his everyday expression. Weird.

"She is not that pretty," the other vampire female I had heard came forward sounding snotty. She went over to Gabe and hugged his arm looking up at him in rapture, "You don't think she is prettier than me do you Gabrielly?"

Gabe's blank face broke into a grimace of distaste he didn't bother to conceal as he rolled his eyes and remained still as a statue in her touch. The girl didn't seemed fazed but remained holding onto him almost hanging to his side staring at him as if he was something worth of worship. If I hadn't been half as terrified as I was I would have been gagging at the sight, why did she have to touch him like that?

She looked younger than the other two. Probably sixteen was my guesstimate. Her dirty blond hair fell bellow her waist and was arrow straight. Like the others, her hair was like spider webs which made it seem like it floated slightly or moved smoothly even though there was no night breeze. Her maroon eyes were big and wide, and despite the obvious implication of her power as a killing immortal, the eyes still seemed to have retained some of the young naïveté of a child.

"Kisha, you are the most beautiful girl in the _world_," the gloomy man leaning on the tree droned in a tired tone as if he had been forced to say it.

The girl Kisha remained staring up at Gabe but when he refused to answer she pouted and finally stepped away looking disappointed, "I know I am Janovich, I just wanted to hear Gabrielly say it. He has always been so mean to me."

"Well, one has to give you props for being persistent princess," Emerand said softly. He began to stroke my hair as if I was a kitty he was holding, not a human girl, "You know Gabriel never had any patience for that sort of thing."

Kisha's eyes widened more if possible and she turned to him in childlike excitement and anxiousness that made her jump on the balls of her feet, "That is not true! Gabrielly loves me! Right? You love me as much as I love you right? Because I do! I love you more than anything, more than hunting, more than Emerand!"

Emerand chuckled at her exuberance; I felt it rumble in his chest as he kept petting me, "It seems Kisha's ardor hasn't died ever since you left us Gabriel."

Kisha smiled wide and shook her head claiming, "Of course not, I will love Gabrielly until the day I die."

"Maybe it would be futile of me to point out that you are dead already, right Kisha?" Gabe said softly sidestepping away from her touch.

She frowned looking confused at his logic, "I don't get it."

"Kisha I think all blondes of the world might despise you," another voice said emerging from the shadow of an elm tree. A tall and thin figure appeared but I couldn't make out his features since he still remained in darkness. His voice sounded high yet low, like a boy going through puberty.

"Why?" she gasped shocked.

"Because you keep spreading the stereotype that blondes are dumb," was the simple reply from the darkness.

For the first time ever since I had woken I saw a true reaction from Gabe. So far he had been his calm stoic self but at the sound of the voice he had gone chalk white.

"Well all brunettes hate _you_ because…because you are dumb!" was her sharp retort.

"Michael stop insulting Kisha, Kisha stop giving him bait." Emerand said in a tired tone similar to Janovich's that implied this was an every day type of thing.

"He started it Emerand," she whined obviously missing Emerand's subtle insult, "He's just jealous that I love Gabrielly more than I love him."

"Yes, you are correct. I'm seething in jealousy," the faceless Michael replied placating but even through the darkness I could sense him smirking.

I was Alice in wonderland. Yes, that was it. I had probably fallen down a rabbit hole somewhere and instead of ending in the Mad Hatter's tea party I had ended up in the Crazy Vampire's soirée. Where was the rabbit? When would I wake up?

I wanted to ask Gabe when I would wake up or at least tell him my theory of all blood-sucking immortals being off their marbles. Except that when our eyes met Gabe shook his head, only so slightly it couldn't have been detected by anybody else. The urgency in his eyes made me bite my tongue in obedience. It also made me give the fear in the pit of my stomach the respect it deserved. Whether they were crazy or not it did not matter, this was a precarious situation. We were in the lion's den. And one of the lions happened to be cuddling me as if I was a soft teddy bear.

"She smells so nice," Emerand sighed squeezing me gently and ruffling my hair.

"It is an odd fragrance," Janovich said glumly scooting next to us and sniffing my head, "Pleasing, but odd."

"Pure and delicious," Michael said snidely from the shade, "Only the best like always. Right, Gabriel?"

Once more the vampire caused a reaction on Gabriel. He had balled his fists in sudden consternation but he forced a neutral expression as if he hadn't been spoken to.

"As touching as this reunion is," Gabriel began smoothly talking only to Emerand, "Just get on with it alright?"

Emerand looked up from me without stopping the constant petting of my head, "Yes I suppose you are right."

He sighed pleasantly once more and smiled up at Gabe. "I must say Gabriel you have prolonged this for much longer than I had thought it possible. I hope you have gotten as much enjoyment from this as us."

"It has been the time of my life," Gabe snapped, his eyes seething with the scorching murderous intent I had forgotten he was capable of.

"There is something I want you to explain," Gabe continued glaring at Emerand, "If this was what you had been planning all along why send the trackers?"

"If you had remained on the same place for an extended period of time it would have not been challenging for us. They kept you running, it was just a fun factor," Emerand shrugged, "We have always been on your trail Gabriel. It has taken us this long only because we have taken small detours."

"We stopped to see the biggest ball of yarn in the world Gabrielly, it was amazing!" Kisha piped in.

"I tasted my first Brazilian, he was delicious," Lillian added looking dreamy, "I just _love_ being a tourist."

"It wasn't like the trackers would have ever been a real threat to you to begin with," Emerand continued ignoring Kisha and Lillian. "We always knew this was how it would play out. We just assumed you would too."

I felt as if I really was a stupid kitty cat or immobile stuffed animal. They had their conversation over my head and in all reality the meaning to it also passed above it. I didn't get anything that was going on but I remained silent. Gabe always wanted for me to be quiet it was high time I did as he wished.

"Enough time has passed Emerand," Janovich said softly stepping away from the tree, "Lets get it over with."

"Yay! We get to play," Kisha squealed clapping her hands and giving a small jump, "Emerand, you have to have a handicap. You are faster than anybody else."

Emerand gave a mock grimace, "I suppose you are right, how about a minute head-start for everybody?"

"A minute and a half for Gabriel," Lillian added as she did a couple of stretching exercises. "It won't be any fun if we catch him so soon."

Emerand nodded and stood up in one fluid movement with me still on his arms.

Until then I had only vaguely been following the conversation, not really understanding what they were talking about. The references of 'play' hadn't made sense until now.

It was a game. I didn't know the rules but the objective was crystal clear…

"Whoever returns back here before sunrise with Gabriel's head wins," Emerand told the others who smiled, even Janovich's somber expression twitched slightly as if grinning.

"Can I keep his head even if I loose?" Kisha asked raising her hand high.

"Maybe," Emerand grinned giving her a cheery wink that made her squeal in excitement.

His head...seriously?

"_What they want is what they get…and what they want is Gabriel head on a pike,"_ Carlisle had said…wow. And here I had been thinking he had only said that to be melodramatic…

'_They are going to kill him,' _I thought feeling myself grow pale. No, this couldn't be happening…it was too horrible.

Gabe, apparently sensing I had finally reached my breaking point, moved faster than my eye could catch and was before Emerand in a nano second. He took me from the red-eyed elder's arms and backed off with one of his hands covering my mouth. For a wild moment I felt a triumphant relief that maybe he would just take off and outrun them but my hope vanished as soon as he lowered me to stand next to him in the middle of the clearing.

"Oh, do you want a last meal?" Lillian asked politely mistaking the meaning of his possessiveness towards me. Then she turned quizzically to Emerand, "He is allowed to have one, right?"

Emerand who had looked nothing short of disappointed Gabe had taken me from him blinked and then smiled. It was nothing like the placid smiles he had given so far. This one was cold and humorless. His eyes had become slits because of it and I could finally see the real side of him, the side that was a blood-thirsty killer.

"Gabriel would be more than welcome to have a last meal…if he could, that is."

Lillian looked confused for a moment before Kisha gushed, "Oh the Ban! I had forgotten you did that to him Emerand, it was really mean of you."

"How has it been Gabriel?" Emerand continued smoothly, "Just how bad has the thirst been? It must have been the epitome of pain as you starved to death, and since you could not die anyways…tell me, was it your personal hell on earth to crave human blood but be unable to have it?"

Next to Gabe with his hand still covering my mouth I gasped in shock. What did he mean by craving the blood but being unable to have it? I looked up at Gabe but he refused to meet my eyes as he glared at Emerand. I tried to pry his hand from my mouth but he held tighter. I dug my nails at his hands but he ignored me. It was unfair, I had questions and he had to answer them!

It just went to show how absent-minded I could be. I had always taken for granted that Gabe never drank human blood. I guess I had always assumed that it was by choice; that he hadn't wished to harm humans like the Cullens. But it seemed inconceivable that anybody was capable of "banning" Gabe from doing anything he wanted to do.

"It wasn't mean Kisha," Jovanich said turning to the wide-eyed girl, "Gabriel made the mistake of turning against his coven. He only got what he deserved."

"I have survived your ban just fine Emerand," Gabe said emotionless, "Pigs' blood can be pretty bland but bearable…like Liv's"

"You are disgusting," Emerand whispered, his face morphing suddenly ugly in his wrath.

"Liv was your maker Gabrielly, how can you say such a thing?" Kisha gasped her eyes brimming with tears, "You drank his blood too? That is yucky."

"Yes Kisha, it was quite _yucky_," Gabe said smiling sardonically at her. I squirmed harder in his hold to remove his hand but it was impossible. My movement got the other's attention to me and I finally got the clue to stay still—and silent. They seemed to think of me as not there if I didn't make any sudden movements. But it was too late, I had squirmed.

"Well, if he can't have her can I Emerand?" Kisha asked sweetly, sending him a winning smile.

It took a moment for Emerand to compose himself from his anger but he finally accomplished it and turned to Kisha, serene as before, "No Kisha, you can't have her."

He turned to Gabe and smiled once more which made me realize he suspected Gabe's true hold on me was not one of a possession but one protection.

"The winner will get her," Emerand declared airily waving a hand at me as if I was a standing human trophy.

I felt a shudder go through Gabe. The muscles in his neck seemed to be stretching and constricting with an unknown emotion. I looked up to him and felt a sense of defeat. Gabe looked anxious which simply said it all: he wouldn't be able to protect me after all.

"Don't," he burst unexpectedly disrupting Emerand as he was arguing with Kisha.

"I beg your pardon?" Emerand said surprisingly polite.

Gabe's mouth opened and closed and his eyes shinned with chagrin. It appeared very much like the time he had apologized to me. As if he was fighting his pride and believes just to get the words out.

"I'll do anything—whatever you want," he finally said his deep voice resounding among the trees, "Just let her go."

"Let _who_ go?" Emerand asked nonplussed looking around at Kisha and Lillian to check them. Satisfied they were in no way harmed he turned to Gabe confused.  
"Bella," Gabe breathed out. When the others simply stared at him quizzically he took a deep breath and continued, "Let her go, I'm here, I'll play your game. Please."

Emerand's mouth dropped open in utter shock. I wouldn't have been surprised if at that moment he would clutch his arm and have a heart attack out of the surprise he felt as he looked at me.

"He said 'please'," Lillian said awestruck.

"Maybe he is sick," Kisha replied muffled by the her hands covering her mouth in shock. Her eyes looked on the dangerous verge of actually popping out.

"Gabriel," Emerand began, his eyes wide, "Are you worried about a _human_?"

Gabe didn't say anything but removed the hand from my mouth and placed it on my shoulder. On the corner of my eyes I saw him shoot a wary look at the vampire Michael who hadn't joined the others but still remained silent and remote.

"Are you _begging, _mind you, _begging_ to me—for her?" Emerand gushed still looking at me with unflattering disbelief.

Gabe gave a curt nod that made Emerand start. After a moment in which he along with the others stared at Gabe as if they were seeing a giant squid wearing a bonnet, Emerand finally closed him mouth and the disbelief turned into cold calculation on the blink of an eye, "So, you care for a human girl…who would have thought? I guess my ban worked too well, it made you soft."

A moment passed in which the others exchanged anxious looks. Emerand suddenly looked spitefully at me as if I was a sticky gum that had plastered itself all over the bottom of his shoe. I didn't need anybody to tell me that he didn't want to pet me anymore.

"The price still stands," he finally said in a hollow voice. Gabe's hand tightened on my shoulder but other than that he showed no sign that Emerand's verdict had affected him. "Let us begin."

"What about the girl?" Lillian asked.

"What about her?" Emerand snapped glaring at her.

Lillian's eyes widened at his sudden change in attitude but went on, "We can't leave her here to roam around it will be an inconvenience having to go look for her."

"I'll stay and keep her here," Michael's voice sounded out before Emerand could reply.

There was an intake of breath from Gabe but he stared resolutely at the ground. He removed his hand from my shoulder and held my hand instead. The Priam elders, including Kisha glowered at his action in disgust.

"Don't you want to play with us Michael?" Emerand replied eyeing our clasped hands beadily. "I thought you most of all would like this opportunity. Liv was also your master."

"I am sure my master would be more than satisfied if you were the one to take his head Emerand," Michael said smoothly. "I have grown tired of this cat and mouse game. End it already so that we can go home."

Emerand frowned indecisively, "But you will miss the fun…"

"The fun of beheading Gabriel isn't that interesting if truth be told," Michael said finally stepping forward. My mouth gaped open but a squeeze from Gabe's hand prevented my upcoming gasp. "He's a waste of effort in any case."

His eyes were maroon like the rest of them, he was young as well, around Kisha's age. Yet…it was Gabe. Or at least what I imagined Gabe would have looked like around that age. His brow wasn't as pronounced and his hair was shorter but the dark brown still had a smooth wave to it like Gabe's. Even the sardonic smirk was a mirror image of the older counter part. I looked up at Gabe who was staring at the boy with a mixture of anger and despondency. Michael in turn was eyeing Gabe as if he would have liked nothing better than to behead him despite what he had just said.

Emerand laughed at the exchange, "Oh what brotherly love, I had forgotten how great you two got along."

When neither responded he turned shrugged and continued, "A minute and a half Gabriel," he announced as the others got on a line, apparently ready to sprint after him. "Go."

The definite order awoke Gabe to his sense. He turned away from Michael and began to walk off suddenly.

"Don't," I gasped finally finding my voice. It sounded sharp, almost like a command even though I was quaking from head to toe in fright. I grasped his hand in a death grip and pulled him forcefully back. He recovered from the surprise of my action and stood his ground. He tried to walk away again and let go of my hand but I held on.

"Let go Bella," he ordered trying to shake me off. I shook my head adamant, I refused, absolutely refused. Over my dead body.

"Bella…it is fine, just let go," Gabe urged softer this time.

I would never see him again. Ever.

That was a fact, if I let go I would allow for him to slip away. It would be as if I had been part of his assassination. No, I couldn't let him go, he couldn't leave me. The fact that I would die soon after him wasn't important.

"Stay, please stay," I begged miserably.

He shook his head once…twice, no.

"If she doesn't let you go I can just kill her right now," Emerand burst exasperated.

Gabe shot him a look but turned to me.

"Did you lie?" I asked him urgently ignoring Emerand's all-too serious threat. I had to know. I would die soon, I would loose him which was probably worse but still, I had to know if he really had never wanted to see me again. "Or did you mean what you told me?"

For a moment I thought he would not answer, only shove me away but then his cold eyes softened fractionally. He gave me one of those rare grins, the ones he had so far shown only to me, no one else. There were faint hisses of incredulity and abhorrence on the background when he leaned down towards me so that our foreheads touched. His eyes, though opaque and darkening seemed to glow for a moment with the odd green luminescence, "Of course I lied you dolt."

There was no time for me to savor his answer. I had to blink but once and my grip on him had been broken. He was gone.

I stood like the dolt he said I was in heartbroken shock. Vaguely I could hear Lillian and Kisha count down the seconds for their turn. When they rushed off along with Janovich I only felt a faint swish of air.

"If I had known Banning him would make him belittle himself as he did," Emerand said coming to stand next to me as he waited for his turn, "I would have saved him the disgrace and just killed him then and there."

"It was a good thing you didn't then," I said hollowly though I didn't know what he was talking about. I stood rooted to the spot staring at the point where the others had vanished after Gabe.

Emerand didn't reply but seconds later another rustle of air let me know he had gone.

I remained staring at the black beyond the trees.

He had left to become the trophy piece in their cruel hunting game, only his head would return now. What a gruesome thought.

I fell to my knees and stared at my hands, they were limp and useless. Stupid, stupid… I hadn't been able to hold onto him. I hadn't been able to protect him….I hadn't…but maybe it wasn't too late…

"Gabe!" I shrieked standing up and rushing off into the darkness. I had to reach him. Somehow I had to make it better. It didn't matter if the Priam got to us, I would gladly die with him—for him, either way was fine.

There was a pressure within me. It didn't let me breath. With every passing thought of, "_He is going to die…he is going to die…he is going to die,"_ it kept getting tighter.

Even when I was grasped and pulled roughly from the back my body continued its fruitless struggle to rush after him.

"No, come back!" I screamed furiously, gasping for air as I struggled forward.

The pain of it all was unbearable. It oozed from my pores, overflowed my every sense and made me burst in broken sobs. He was going to die…

"Come back Gabe!" my inhuman shriek rang about the falling night, "Come back, I love you so much, _come back_!"

"He can't," a flat voice said by my ear. A pair of arms pulled me back to the ground and attempted to restraint me but I was beyond gone.

"Yes he will. He'll come back, he always does!" I sobbed crawling with all my might, clutching at the rough ground but was pulled back forcefully once more.

"Gabe, come back…" I whispered, my voice beginning to fade, "_Stay with me._"

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**Now, I _know_ there might have been certain things that went unexplained but chill. I will definetly update much much sooner this time, that is a promise...or I can just kill them off and call it a day...hehe, not funny, sorry. Review and let me have it. **

**Oh, and there have been people who have been wondering what Gabe looks like. I actually kinda forgot except for the whole green eyes thing. I do know for a fact that the description is on October...I think. **

**God, I'm such a bad writter.**


	14. All That I've Got

**So, I tried to update this on saturday but I misplaced my flash thingy. I felt like such a dork, anyhow. I hope you guys like it, I dunno if the ending is...hehe, anyways, but I prefered it this way. Now I have to be off to join the working classes to boost up this country's economy...or some shit like that. So read up and review this ending! It took me quite a while to get here...**

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All That I've Got

Through out most of my life I had the ability of looking out a window and seeing an unending crystal blue sky. The color had been breathtaking and its vastness had been reassuring. Later when I had willingly left that sky for the oppression of a bleakly grey one in the back of my mind there had always been the feeling of having suffered a great loss. Something special which had made my life whole had been stripped away. When Edward came into my life he managed to lessen the pain the void of having no proper home, parents or even an endless sky had created. All I had needed had been him. In his arms I had managed not to fall apart because he kept me together. When he had kissed me my heart had beat in such a way that I had finally discovered what it really meant to be alive. For all this, and much more, I loved him. He was perfection incarnate. Both in and out there had been no true flaw in him. In that aspect Gabe had never been able to compare.

Where Edward had been kind and gentle Gabe had been cruel and coarse. While one's loyalties laid with the ones he loved, the other's had been only to himself. Edward's soul was a light shade of grey and Gabe's was a darker charcoal. When drawing comparisons it was impossible not to see the true superior of the two.

Even so, while Edward had managed to make the void in me unimportant and small, it had been Gabe who had solely managed to fully fill it. With him by my side I hadn't needed parents. Every single new and alien place we went to had been like home because he made it that way. In his unfathomable and clear eyes I had found an entirely new sky I could look at every day. With all these things he had given me he had made me whole. And in return I had unknowingly given him my entire heart.

It wasn't much, it had been hurt and it was badly scared but it was all I had been able to give.

As I stared up at the star speckled sky I wondered how it was that I could still be breathing. Gabe was gone; he would never come back to me again.

"Are you going to stay still or am I going to have to sit on you?"

Michael stood over me with both hands on my shoulders pinning me down. I was grateful for the soulless maroon of his eyes, otherwise I knew my mind would have jumped into overdrive and confused him with his older brother.

"I'll stay still," I croaked back without emotion.

My body felt like dead weight. The fight had left me and the tears had dried on my face.

"I'm going to let go of you," Michael informed me a matter-of-factly, "if you try to run away again I'll just snap your neck, okay?"

He backed off without waiting for my response. I sat up and winced at a sudden head rush. It seemed that throwing a tantrum was not good for your health, who knew?

"I never thought I would see the day somebody, a human even, would cry for my brother…except for mother," Michael scooted down on the floor and sat cross-legged in front of me. He frowned as he scrutinized me critically. Without hesitating or caring much for my response he would reach to me and pull a strand of my hair as if he wanted to see how long it was or simply poke me with his forefinger. All in all he was behaving like a child who had discovered something odd and grotesque but couldn't help be fascinated by it nonetheless.

_It's as if I'm a slug_, I thought emotionlessly as I sat still waiting patiently for him to cease his poking.

"My brother used to get the most beautiful ones, what went wrong here?" Michael asked out loud to himself.

"Lost his good taste?" I suggested ignoring the fact that I had just insulted myself.

Michael thought about it for a moment but then he shrugged suddenly looking shrew, "He never actually chose them," he said a matter-of-factly, "They simply lined up willingly to die, the idiots."

I sat like him and stared back. My mind had stopped thinking just as my heart had stopped racing. It was as if my insides were shriveling slowly like cooling ashes. Without Gabe nothing mattered. There was a strange calmness that had settled over me, I had given up after all.

"Are you afraid of me?" Michael suddenly asked eyeing my passive expression curiously.

"No," I sighed turning to look at the darkness beyond the clearing. I shouldn't have let go, I shouldn't have let go…

"Were you afraid of Gabriel?"

I turned back to him, startled at the sound of the name and the question itself.

I thought for a moment back to all those months alone with Gabe. Even when his temper had turned sour or he had been on a murderous rampage…yes I had been afraid but it had been the fear that came with the territory of hanging around with one of the undead. One who happened to be running for his life ninety-five percent of the time.

"I was never afraid of him," I admitted, "He was always good to me."

His sarcastic comments and antisocial ways had conveniently vanished from my mind. I loved him after all, and love was blind was it not?

It wasn't a complete lie though; Gabe _had_ been good to me in his own distant way.

Michael looked at me skeptically, "Were you his toy?"

Beneath the layers of numbing pain a little of my old self prickled _his toy_?

"No I wasn't," I snapped suddenly annoyed at this boy who looked so much like Gabe but obviously knew nothing about him. "Gabe is my friend."

"Was," he corrected sneering. He then shrugged again and continued vaguely, "Gabriel doesn't have friends, only enemies."

"That may be true," I conceded acidly, "but I am his friend, that must count for something."

"It might," he said after a pause, "I wouldn't know. When I was alive I used to think brotherhood was a synonymous for friendship. Gabriel ceased to be my brother the day he was born."

I was puzzled for a second at his choice of words but then realized he was talking about Gabe's "birth" to being immortal.

"Were the two of you converted at the same time?" I asked diffidently. My curiosity on learning more about the enigma Gabe had been won out over my growing lethargy.

Michael eyed me as if weighing how worthy I was of wasting his precious breath on.

"No, master Liv took me first," Michael finally proceeded still studying me as he spoke. His bored tone of voice hit me like a jackhammer; the longer I was in his presence the clearer it became just how much he was like his brother. "He fell in love with me. I wanted immortality so I humored him."

I blinked and wondered what he had meant by 'humoring him' but decided against asking.

As if reading my thoughts he smirked, "Homosexuality was widely practiced and acknowledged in ancient Rome. They didn't romanticize it like the Greeks but it was rather common."

He propped his chin on his hand and gave a classical roll of eyes at my quizzical expression that almost made me gasp. I nearly had a thought of mind to tell him to stop behaving so much like Gabe but I realized it would be past immaturity to do so.

"Did-did he fall in love with Gabe too?" I managed to choke out. So, Ancient Rome was it? There were _centuries_ in age differences between Gabe and I, was it just me or was that a little criminal?

Michael didn't respond but spaced out with his own thoughts. I waited patiently for a while wondering if there was an answer to my question I wouldn't like.

"No, he hated Gabriel," Michael finally responded dully, "He was jealous of the time I spent with my brother.

"So he transformed me and took me away from my family," he grimaced at the memory, "I thought that it would be worth it and it was, for a while."

"You left your family for a life of immortality and cruelty?" I asked him aghast.

"I went back," he replied defensively. I narrowed my eyes at him finally realizing what he was really like, cold and ambitious. "I returned for Gabriel."

I frowned at his confession, he had returned for Gabe after years probably.

"He had been too young for me to have taken when I left at first," he explained.

"Young?" I blinked, so Gabe wasn't the older brother?

"I let two decades pass before I returned for him. I had wanted to return only one later so that when he was converted too we would have been the same age, but Liv kept me back saying he wasn't ready to convert someone else yet."

Michael picked at the dark ground moodily with the same finger he had been poking me with earlier. In his sudden turn to depression he looked like the innocent beautiful young boy who had died much too early. I wondered why it was he was telling me these things. I was only a lump of juicy meat after all, that was what his eyes said every time he looked at me.

"Did Gabe want to be transformed?" I asked somehow knowing the answer already.

"No," Michael said glaring at me, "He didn't want to and it was Liv's fault. If he hadn't made me wait those extra ten years Gabriel would have still had the same dreams as I had had then, he would have wanted to be with me too."

"But Liv still transformed him," I prodded him on gently. I had to know more, more about the life Gabe had led. It wouldn't be long before I left this world forever; at least I would be able to die knowing some of the things that had made him tick.

Michael turned away after giving me a withering look. So that was from whom Gabe had learned it…

"Gabe told me he killed his master out of resentment," I continued when he didn't respond. "And that he had never wanted to be immortal."

"But I needed him to be with me!" he nearly yelled at my face, his breath stinging my face with its coldness. "He was all I had. He had to be with me."

He stood up and walked away from me pacing like a furious predator. My survival instincts told me to keep my trap shut. Apparently I had pushed a little one too many buttons.

"It was all Liv's fault," he seethed vindictively. "He made me wait and Gabriel changed, it was his entire fault.

"Because of him I made Gabriel hate me, it was a good thing Gabriel killed him."

I braced my shaky legs and stood up silently and slowly. Maybe I would get to run a good yard or two if he got violent. He certainly looked on the verge of it now. Gingerly I took a step back and my knees almost buckled under me, okay maybe I would only be able to run a few feet, two or three at the most.

"Why does Gabe hate you?" I asked him tremulously wondering if it would be better for me to have remained silent to begin with. "You are his brother."

"Because I made him what he is."

I gulped suddenly afraid once more. If Michael's foul mood escalated by the time Emerand and the others got here there would be no trophy Bella for them left.

"I-I'm sure if you tell Gabe that you wanted for Liv to turn him so that you two could be together he would forgive your part in all of this," I said attempting to appease while at the same time backing off. Michael's eyes were gaining that vampire mania I had grown so used to in the past months. All that was needed was for him to start salivating at the sight of me and I would be in for a slow and painful death.

"You don't get it," he snapped taking a heavy step towards me. "_I _made him what he is," he repeated slowly, enunciating every word for my slow-minded benefit.

_I made him what he is._

"You are his maker," I realized shocked, my fright suddenly forgotten. I thought back to how angry Gabe had been when talking about the maker he had killed out of resentment, he had never mentioned anything about his brother being the one…

"Does Gabe know?" I asked tentatively feeling revolted at this new piece of information.

"Of course he knows," Michael replied sardonically, "Why else do you think he hates me as he does?"

"But—but he said he had killed his maker…" I repeated confused.

This more than anything seemed to mollify him. I sighed a breath of relief as he walked back to the pine tree Emerand had occupied earlier and took a seat. He stretched his long legs leisurely before him. "Gabriel was always good about knowing who deserved to have the finger pointed at."

"So he didn't blame you then, not entirely."

"If that is the case girl," he drawled from the tree. His maroon eyes along with his skin glowed eerily making me think of a blood-thirsty ghost, sending a ripple of goose bumps all over me. "Then why does my brother look at me the way he does? Why did he chose to have the Ban imposed on him and go all across the world to dig himself a hole in which he buried himself? Can you give me an answer to that?"

His tone was casual and callous but I had enough experience in the area of pretending to know there was actual pain behind his words. My legs finally gave up and I slumped roughly on my behind. Like him I sat cross-legged but it was at the darkness I stared once more at, not him. I considered his question seriously from all aspects and thought of Gabe's personality and possible reasons for his behavior but though I had a theory there was a piece of information missing.

"What is the Ban? I know it involved Gabe somehow being unable to drink human blood but I don't see how that is possible."

His eyes were a pair slits that twinkled with an inhuman gleam of hunger, they reminded me of a snake. They were unlike anything I had seen before…no, that wasn't true. I did know a completely different pair of eyes that were just as inhuman but they had always been a comfort to look at. It felt as if these blood red eyes were the evil counterparts of the others. Perhaps that was the reality; Michael was an evil version of my Gabe.

"The Ban is a curse that allows us to crave human blood as usual but makes our body reject it," Michael said disrupting my train of thought. "It was a form of torture only the coven leaders could impose on the lower members back in the ancient times. That is why covens became so uncommon. The younger undead left the covens for lives of slinking in the darkness on filth and solitude. The fear of the Ban was what made the Brotherhood of the undead disperse though out time. As vampires we have always meant to live in packs like wolves but they have become solitary hunters now."

I sat dumbfounded lost for words at this weird information of vampire history.

So Gabe had been cursed all along…sitting soiled and weak in the Cullen's home. He had probably been in great agony especially when I had cut myself. I imagined what it must have been like for him starving with me ready and available but being unable to take me. Despite all the gross implications of him sucking my blood I couldn't help but feel sorry for him, he had suffered so much.

Deep in thought I only felt the soft breeze that made strands of hair dance about my face. I couldn't help but shriek uncouthly when Michael appeared in a flash before me, crouched on his knees, his face inches from mine.

"I was there," he said his eyes glittering with something I suspected was remorse, "I found Gabe after he ran after he killed Liv. I wanted to go with him now that Liv wouldn't be there to drag me down. I wanted for us to return to being brothers. We didn't need the coven; we could finally be each other's companion."

I tried to scoot back from him but he leaned towards me ever so smoothly closing the space I would create.

"Emerand followed me," he breathed, his eyes widening in reminiscence, "I didn't know, I swear I didn't.

"He Banned Gabriel, almost killed him…I didn't want for that to happen. I didn't _know_," he repeated desperately as if it was of great importance for me to believe him, or for him to believe himself.

His expression was crazed in its desperation and it made it a hundred times worse since it was so close to mine.

"May—maybe," I stammered doing an backward crabwalk with my hands in my attempt to back away but he followed me again, "I think the re-reason Gabe left and you know, dug a hole all across the world from you was to not—I think, to not kill you. He was so angry at you too but he didn't want to kill you too, so he left and dug himself a hole…to sleep," I concluded. In the back of my mind that had still retained a fraction of rationale I wondered fretfully if any of that had made any sense.

Thankfully it seemed that he had gotten meaning from my jabbering because he backed off frowning, "He didn't want to kill me?"

"Yeah, you know because he was so angry he had to cool down," I gushed without thinking, simply gratified he had gotten out of my face.

"Do you think Gabriel still loves me?" he asked in a soft and broken voice. With his puppy dog sadness I was forcefully reminded of Kisha earlier that night,_ Gabrielly loves me! Right? You love me as much as I love you right? Because I do! I love you more than anything, more than hunting, more than Emerand!_

I realized then and there that like Kisha Michael was still a child at heart. One that had been seduced by the promise of never becoming old at too young of an age without being fully aware of the consequences it would all entail. He had loved his little brother with the type of selfish love that had made him believe both had to share the same dark fate of never knowing death.

"He might," I conceded faintly, though I had no idea.  
Michael gave a single nod and sat back. It was now his turn to look at the darkness beyond. I wondered if he now cared that four soulless fiends had run after his brother as if he was only a deer to hunt.

"When they bring back the carcass you won't know if he still loves you or not," I suddenly baited then bit my tongue. It was dangerous territory I had suddenly stepped in. There was nothing that assured me Michael would rise up to the challenge and help his brother, but it was worth the try.

"Yeah, I won't," he said unhappily but did no further to change the situation. I gritted my teeth in suppressed rage. He had the strength and the power! He had it all in his hands to go and help Gabe. What I would have given to be in his shoes. Then maybe Gabe wouldn't…

"Bring him back," I seethed jumping to my feet suddenly furious at this glowing vampire elder. "He is your brother! He is in this situation because of you; everything that has happened to him has been because of _you_! Gabe never wanted to be immortal, ever, but you had to go and ruin his life just because!"

I breathed raggedly and felt my entire frame shake in fury. It seemed that the tables had turned in the dark clearing because it was now the vampire boy who cringed as I towered above him.

"If you loved him, really loved him you would go and help him just because you CAN!Not just sit here like a dope feeling your life flush down an immense drain just because you will never see him again!"

"What exactly do you expect me to do?" he asked politely but his eyes had narrowed in the creepy snake-like fashion, "Even if I did go and help him and we got away, Emerand would continue the game."

"So what?" I gushed feeling exasperated, "At least you and him would be alive, that would be what matters."

He stared at me apparently thinking through what I had just said. For a moment hope began bubble in the pit of my stomach, maybe Gabe would survive, maybe, just maybe…

"I can't do that," he finally said leaning back with his hands supporting him.

"Why?" I nearly choked out. "Please do something, please. Do anything, save him."

I was sobbing by now and the pain pricked me all over, I was so desperate.

'_Someone, anyone',_ I wanted to scream, _'Save him, protect him. Even if my pain lasts forever and I feel every second of their torture, please, please let him live.'_

Without further deliberation I turned on my heels and ran out into the darkness, Michael didn't stop me. Oxygen seemed like a thing of the past as I stumbled half-blinded by tears throughout the thick foliage all about me. I wasn't sure how many times I fell on my face or how many cuts, scrapes and bruises I collected along the way. The half-second flash of pain these things caused was nothing compared to the feeling that was eating me up from inside. In my mind I could see the memory of the first time Gabe had left me. How he had walked forward and steadily without looking back, his footprints marked briefly on the snow-covered ground. The memory replayed itself over and over. It made the pain in me intensify as if there was gangrene that was eating my heart inside out.

When I saw the ground merely an inch from my nose I wondered vaguely how I had fallen and for how long I had remained there on the ground, my foot tightly caught on an upturned tree root. The silence of the night engulfed me, the only thing I could hear was my worn out breath.

I hadn't given up, my head was in a turmoil trying to come up with a solution for this nightmare but my body was frozen and exhausted, it wouldn't move.

Even when I heard the shriek-like laughter and catcalls echoing beyond the trees, I couldn't get enough adrenaline going in me to do anything about it let alone fear it.

Taking deep breaths I pushed myself up with one hand, my broken wrist still wasn't able to support me. I gazed at my location, unsurprised to see I was surrounded by thick trees that reached so mighty and tall they blocked out the sky.

"He killed Janovich," Michael's voice echoed faintly by my left ear. I turned wearily to see him leaning casually against the tree whose root had tripped me. I didn't doubt he had followed me in a slow and calm pace as I had ran like a maniac. He looked beyond the trees and sniffed the air, "I can smell the fresh blood."

"Gabe killed him?" I asked hopefully and gave a tremendous sigh of relief when Michael nodded.

"Does my brother love you?"

The faint grin of relieve I had been wearing faltered at the completely random question.

"No, I think—no, I mean…I'm his friend," I finished lamely untangling my foot and standing up.

I had to take a step back when he came over to stand close to me. I cringed in disgust and anxiety as his fingers lightly caressed my face. "He never showed he cared about me, only when he had been alive but he had only been a child then. So I find it…_amazing_ he would care so much for a stupid human girl like you."

"Hey, only he can call me that!" I snapped acidly slapping away his probing fingers.

He smiled a wide somber smile that was nothing like his brother's, "Gabriel can get away he has done it before. That is why I am not worried, not that much anyhow."

My mouth unhinged and I stared at him in wide-eyed disbelief. Had I heard correctly? He wasn't making it up was he?

"You—you mean Gabe will live, he will be…fine?"

"He might lose a limb or two," Michael gave an unconcerned shrug I was beginning to see as his trademark, "Kisha has a strong jaw, if she bites she won't be letting go."

"But he will live," I repeated reaching over and gripping a handful of his shirt. "Gabe will go and they won't kill him."

"Yes," he sighed staring down at my hold on him, "He can run faster than Emerand, he'll live, if he leaves."

I covered my mouth as a high pitched giggle escaped my mouth. Relief coated my entire body like a warm blanket.

"If he leaves," Michael repeated giving me another of his scrutinizing looks. "Tell me, do you know of any reason why Gabriel will choose to stay and fight?"

The question floored me. No, of course there wasn't anything. Gabe wouldn't be stupid enough to remain when he could save his life, at least I hoped.

"Though we have been fighting ever since he was transformed, Gabriel is still my brother," Michael continued, "I can boast that I know him better than anybody else, better than he knows himself…which is why I believe he won't leave."

I shook my head stubbornly and tried to back away from him but nearly fell in the process. He speedily reached and took a hold of my arm to keep me from falling.

"Gabe will leave, if he gets a chance to save his life he will take it," I assured Michael trying to abate my fears at the same time.

"I just don't get it," Michael suddenly burst ignoring me, "You aren't so special. How did you make it so that he looks at you the way he does? It makes no sense, Gabriel doesn't care for anybody, why a human now?"

"I don't—maybe it is a misunderstanding," I stuttered wincing. His grip on my arm was painful, he wasn't measuring his strength.

"He will come back for you and he will die," Michael finally proclaimed. He let my arm go with a slight thrust so that even though it had been a small movement his supernatural strength nearly sent me flying to the trunk of a tree. The breath was knocked out of me and I could feel my neck whiplash after my head had slammed against the rough bark. A sharp pain stung all over my torso and bright orange flashes of light popped all over my vision. I began to cough, a deep rattle on my chest quaked me. When I looked up in fear that he would attack me his pale handsome face floated towards mine. My tearing eyes blurred him but I could still see his eyes which burned with the indignity and discontent at the fact that I was not worthy of his brother.

"You will hold him back, that is all you have been doing all along isn't it? That is why we were able to reach him so soon. That is why he has become slow and careless."

With a soft and pale hand he gripped a handful of my hair and pulled me up. Ignoring my cries of pain and clawing hands on his he held me up like a doll up to his eye level.

"I will not allow it," he said in a strangled whisper, "You, a mere human, will not be the downfall of my brother. I have protected him for centuries; I have remained by his side though he didn't want or need me. He alone is my flesh and blood, I made him and you can't destroy him…I won't allow it."

"I would _never_ hurt Gabe," I seethed furiously. Though I was terrified of Michael and he obviously didn't mind hurting me, what he was saying was infuriating. "I am not you."

With a shrew and calculating eye he stared me down, "No, I suppose you are not…"

Abruptly he let go of his grip on my hair so that I crumpled to the ground. I felt as if there wasn't a single inch of my body that wasn't bruised or cut. For a second I envisioned a bottle of aspirin…ha, I wished.

"I know it is up to me to protect him. Mother and Father can't do anything now, I always had to solve everything though…" the babble above my head was random, as if he was thinking out loud to himself so I didn't bother in replying. Slowly I crawled to the base of a tree and painfully settled myself there. In a way it was as if I had received the beating of a century, I wondered how long it would take me to heal. Weeks…months perhaps.

The snap of twigs and the shadow suddenly covering me made me sigh in irritation. Why couldn't he keep his distance, or give me a five minute break at least?

"I know what I have to do," he gushed as he kneeled next to me, his face somber with grim determination. "You will not hold him back anymore."

My screams were caught in a tight ball right in my chest. He was going to kill me, this was it. All these months of running to remain alive had turned out to be pointless…

'_Not pointless,'_ a small voice in the back of my mind negated, _'I met Gabe, and I got to be with him even if it was for a short time. That could never be pointless…it was all worth it.'_

When Michael's ice cold fingers gripped my arm, pushed back my thick sweater and pulled almost gently towards him I didn't fight it. There was no dignity in struggling when I knew full well it would be futile. I figured that he would at least be fast because of timing and I was grateful for it.

As if inhaling the aroma of a flower bouquet Michael extended my arm and gently passed his nose over the blue of my veins. His eyes were half closed. The back of his eyes lids where so translucent white that I was able to see tiny veins of his own crisscrossing over them. I was too busy trying to make out a pattern to them that I was faintly startled when they snapped open, wide and alert.

"What are you doing?"

My neck almost cricked as I looked up. Happiness made me forget the situation I was in, even the pain as I looked at Gabe standing not too far away.

"You are okay, I knew you would be okay," I whispered as if in a prayer, because this had to be a sort of spiritual gift from above right? Or else why would he be safe and sound?

Well…maybe it was just the fact that he could take care of himself. Despite his shirt and coat were torn shreds of fabric trailing loosely about him, I could tell that the speckles of blood on his face and chest were not his. His shoulder length hair, which was usually disheveled-looking despite its smooth waves, was even more tangled and utterly muddled. He looked like a man who had survived going down a paper shredder.

"What are you doing Michael?" he repeated staring at his brother who hadn't moved an inch from my arm.

I suppose the phrase "there is a first time for everything" could be used as I saw Gabe's expression. In all the months I had known him I knew Gabe was capable of being stressed, angry and occasionally anxious. His usual stoicism was what I was mostly used to as well as his irritation, and I would have welcomed that a million times to what I could see what he was feeling now.

It was fear.

No, that was not a strong enough word, it was terror. His eyes burned with it and all the blood had left his face to make him seem like a half-dead muddled man. Even at a distance I could see his frame shake. Gabe was terrified.

"I'm going to help you Gabriel," Michael replied softly, his breath sending goose bumps down my arm.

"I don't need your help," Gabe snapped taking a step forward but when he saw Michael tightening his hold on me he stopped.

"I know you," Michael continued, his maroon eyes almost as inscrutable as his brother's, "I know how you think, what you feel…by removing the burden I am doing you a favor."

"I never asked you to," Gabe replied hollowly, "Killing her will solve nothing."

This made Michael straighten up and lower my arm but before Gabe or I could give a sigh of relief Michael's arm enclosed around me and pulled me to him. Like my arm he inhaled the scent of my neck. Gabe's face contorted in rage but a single movement of Michael made him stay in place. Beyond my cloud of panic it became clear to me that the little brother was intimidated by the elder.

"It will solve everything," Michael finally said from my side but I couldn't see his expression. "Think of it as a gift, seeing as how you would never be able to do it yourself.

"You don't want me to be with you Gabriel," Michael said sadly, "and I understand…

"But I don't want you to be alone."

Confusion flickered on Gabe's countenance but he said nothing.

"This mortal girl will be a burden if you mean to protect her, because that is what you will do right Gabriel? You will watch over her before you watch for yourself just like you are now."

"Don't hurt her Michael," Gabe warned shooting me a fleeting look. "It will be the last thing you do."

"I love you Gabriel, the same if not more how you love her. You are all the family I've got…so even if you hate me a little bit more I know this is what you want."

"You don't know what the hell I want," Gabe nearly yelled, "You never did."

I couldn't see Michael's expression because he was behind my head but he stiffened and didn't reply for a moment.

"I might not have known then," he admitted hesitantly, "but I know what you want now and I will give it to you."

"Gabe wants me dead?" I asked feeling the hole in my heart begin to throb. My entire body was one big black and blue bruise but it was the hole that I could feel.

Gabe finally looked at me with his scared eyes and shook his head wordlessly as Michael whispered into my ear confidingly, "No, he wants you—forever."

Maybe it took a second too long for Gabe to comprehend, as it took me. Or maybe he had been too slow in speed when compared to his brother, whatever the case he was too late.

The prick on my neck had been nothing next to my newly fractured ribs or any other wound I had acquired that night. Except that when Gabe, in the form of a flash of color flickered before my eyes to push Michael away from me I began to feel the smoldering pain that exploded my senses.

How was it that I had forgotten this inhuman, crippling pain? It was so hot, unbelievably so, was my flesh melting?

"Bella!" Gabe's voice came from somewhere far off but his voice was drowned by screams of agony.

Vaguely I could feel my hands clawing at my neck trying to put out the non-existing flames I could feel licking me.

"Stop it Gabe!" I begged as he suddenly materialized before me. With a single hand he gripped both of mine and kept them from stripping the skin from my neck. He placed his other hand on my neck. For a split second I felt the coolness of his touch but then it faded as the heat intensified.

"It hurts so much," I sobbed thrashing my entire body. With a steel-like arm Gabe held me to him. He buried his face on my neck. For a wild moment I thought he was about to bite me again but when I felt a fleeting coolness once more I realized he had only rested his forehead there.

"I can't stop it Bella," he said thickly from my neck, he clutched me tighter to him. His arms held me steady but his whole body was shaking. I bit my lip to keep my screams back but it wasn't long before I tasted blood from my effort. "I won't be able to draw your tainted blood, I'm so sorry. I didn't want this, I didn't. I couldn't protect you…"

"Take her away from here," Michael said softly. My eyes were clouding from the pain so all I could see was a faint shadow as he stood over us. "I'll lead Emerand and the others the other way."

"I will kill you for this Michael," Gabe vowed looking up furiously at him.

"…well, at least you won't be alone when you do it little brother."

I couldn't hold my screams back anymore which distracted Gabe so that he was unable to reply back. A second later Michael's silhouette vanished like a fleeting breeze.

"It will be okay Bella," Gabe whispered as I whimpered and writhed in his hold. "Just hold on, please just…"

"Make it stop!"

He tried to stand up while carrying me but I was moving too much for him. He almost lost his hold and I fell back but he caught me by the waist. I reached up and pulled myself up by grabbing a handful of his hair.

Gabe was carrying me like a child as I struggled to cling on to him. Just when I had begun to think the pain couldn't possibly get worst, it did. It came in a hot lava flow all over my body and a flash of fireworks in my eyes. I wasn't sure if I screamed or not, or if Gabe had finally managed to get a hold of me. What I did know, though it seemed inconceivable, was that my heart had just stopped beating.

* * *

As my body changed the pain disappeared completely but I wasn't aware of how long it took. Sense of time was lost. I didn't know when it was night or day, or where I was, or if I was even alive. It was like living in a trance where the world was grey and everything that moved was shapeless and fleeting.

It was a long time of confusion and lethargy. I didn't exactly loose myself to the change but a sense of going mad engulfed me. I would spend hours seated silently with my eyes closed willing to pass out somehow but sleep wouldn't come. When I realized I would never be able to dream again I felt the acute grief as if I had lost a loved one.

There was also the thirst.

When vampires would stare at me as a piece of meat and even when Edward had described his hunger I had secretly thought it disgusting and morbid. Now though, every dead molecule in my dead body felt thirsty. It could get bad enough like hunger pangs only a hundred times more. Weakness would grip me and my insides would cramp at the intense need.

I could smell anything so when I first got my whiff of human blood I knew I would be in for an eternity of suffering.

It was disgusting.

What I needed the most to stop the hunger, sickened me just as when I had been alive, if not more. The sickness the smell of blood caused me hadn't disappeared, it had gotten worse. It seemed that unlike Gabe who had it forced upon him I, on the other hand, had been born with the Ban. The salty iron smell to it…if I had had anything left in my stomach I would have purged.

Gabe kept me locked in a room with wide windows from where I could see lush green hills and the sun would shine through daily. I didn't mind, the outside world was terrifying. Though there wasn't much civilization for miles around but there were overly bright colors, all the amplified sounds, and the smell of the blood. I didn't want to face it.

It could sometimes be overwhelming, especially on those nights when Gabe would decide out of the blue to relocate from wherever we were hiding. He would wrap me in a blanket to muffle any smell that would bother me and carry me like a potato sack. According to him the Priam had fallen back on their chase somewhat (probably thanks to Michael) but that didn't mean they had given up. Though by the lax and casual pursuing speed they followed us with, it became clear they were taking their time, still treating it like a game.

Also the catatonic-like state the change had induced in me didn't make things any easier for Gabe. I was worse than a hand puppet, limp and useless.

The irony of it all was that slowly but surely everything became like all those months ago when a vampire had crouched half-starved while someone tried to aid it…by giving it pigs' blood. And Gabe had been right, it was revolting when cold, it was revolting as it was but the temperature made the difference between spitting it out or choking it down.

Aside from the pigs' blood, Gabe would talk. He talked more than I thought it possible in my wildest dreams. He would tell me of places he had gone to, people he had met, his believes, likes as well as dislikes. All the while I sat on the floor of that locked room staring at my sparkling hands as the sun hit them. I didn't keep track how long it took for me to feel like looking at him directly in the eyes to show I was actually listening and understanding what he was telling me. An extremely long life had given Gabe patience I had never known he could be capable of because he never seemed to mind at all.

"You just have to take your time and do it in slow motion at first. Since Michael made you, your powers are as strong as an elder's so you have to be very careful with the smallest thing," he instructed me right after I had broken a closet door right out of its hinges when opening it casually. He had found it hilarious especially after he had taken a look at my dumbfounded expression. It had happened around the time I had begun to recover because I had found myself smiling faintly at his sudden laughter. By the time I had started to speak back to him as he talked me through my daily pigs' blood meal the reality of what had happened to me finally hit home.

I was dead…but I was alive. I would never grow old or sick, and I happened to live of the life of other living things. Gabe promised me he would always keep me from killing a living person but when I glanced at a mirror for the first time I still felt as if I had become something close to a monster. My hair, which had gotten long even before Michael had bitten me, framed my newly white porcelain-like face which was cold to the touch, but it had been my eyes which had made me lose it. Though there was red in them the brown still remained, they were like rich dark mahogany wood that was simply warm, not blood red. That wasn't much of a comfort because see it as I may, they weren't the eyes of a human girl, they were a vampire's.

I could not feel hot or cold either. There was just no temperature whatsoever. I still couldn't decide what bugged me more, the whole temperature thing or the non-beating heart.

"Am I a monster Gabe?" I finally asked him one day months later. I had barely begun to make coherent words so my concise question had surprised him.

"No, you aren't Bella," he said sitting next to me by the window. His skin shinned along with mine so the light reflecting from us intensified. "You could never be one."

I nodded in acceptance and leaned against him. Like him, I wanted to sleep but it was something I would have to learn to let go.

"I don't think you are one either," I informed him but he only grimaced and looked away.

"I also don't blame you for this Gabe," I added, guessing the reason for his sudden change in mood.

"Well you should," he snapped but I knew his anger was not for me.

"I won't have to be protected anymore," I informed him.

"I didn't care about that, it was not a problem," he argued, irked I was on his brother's side about this. "This was never what I wanted Bella. I know that is what Michael claimed but I—."  
"Michael didn't say you wanted me to be immortal," I corrected him softly. "He said you wanted me forever, there is a difference. He…he also said you cared for me."

At this Gabe scowled and turned back to the window. He slammed it open not measuring his strength so pieces of glass and wood ended up raining on him as he jumped out. I sighed irritated but refused to let him escape like always. Before I hadn't been able to follow, now I could.

Lithely I jumped out the window after him. The height hadn't fazed me but as soon as my feet touched the ground gently I looked up at the broken down two story cabin we were staying in, it was a long fall. Deciding to wonder about it later I rushed after Gabe.

"Stop walking away," I snapped catching up in less than five seconds. It was an amazing first…okay, wonder about it later.

"I'm dead, I'm here, get used to it," I growled grabbing a handful of his shirt as he continued to walk away and pulling him back forcefully by it. I wasn't sure which of us was more amazed when he staggered and almost fell back. "Or do you want me to leave? Is that it? Now that I'm not pathetic and weak you don't want to be with me?

"Gabe, I thought we were friends…"

He didn't reply and turned away from me. Back in the time when I had been a live human girl I would have allowed for him to remain silent—_I_ would have remained silent, but times had changed. I had grown stronger in many ways.

"I love you Gabe," I stated plain and simple, "Even if you send me away, I'll follow you."

I wondered if his baffled expression (as if he had seen a naked clown randomly appear running around) was because he was shocked by what I had said or because he thought it creepy…because I sure did.

"_I'll follow you"_? Why had I said that? You just couldn't get any more stalker than that.

His green eyes gave nothing and I felt my boldness begin to melt like ice on a hot day.

He wasn't going to say anything, was he? Though my insides had become useless lumps of dead flesh they ached. He was going to walk away again and I didn't know if I had in me to follow again right after what I had just said.

'_Say something Gabe,'_ I thought desperately, my calm beginning to break, '_I just put it in the line for you. Say something or I…'_

"I was selfish," he burst so abruptly I jumped at the sudden sound of his voice. "You told me before you had been selfish but that is not true, it was me."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused at this change of topic.

Gabe took a step back from me and looked disgruntled as if I was somehow forcing him to speak against his will.

Even though he was being his jerk-y self something told me that the wall he had built around himself that had been cracking slightly for a while had finally broken on some level. I didn't know whether to be glad or not.

"I should have left you the first time after I hunted," he said like one finally confessing to a crime. "I was strong enough. I had merged our scents already. Everything was set but I just had to go back…"

"Why did you go back Gabe?" I asked unsure if I wanted to know.

He suddenly glared at me, a flare of his old self lighting up in his eyes as if daring me to judge him, "Because you are you," he spat, "Because I liked your voice and all the stupid things you would tell me, because your presence and scent soothed me.

"I stayed because I wanted to, not because I had to."

It was my turn to stare at him in amazement, was all of this true?

"You were in danger and almost got killed so many times. I kept telling myself that I stayed because you would die if I left when all that had to be done to keep you safe would have been to remove my scent from yours and leave.

"It happened at the Cullen's too," he continued with self-disgust, "Carlisle gave me the perfect way out. You would have been safe but I returned like an idiot and took you away…and _this_ happened." he gestured angrily at me and raked a hand through his hair in frustration.

"How can you love me when every bad thing that has happened to you has been because of me?" he demanded, "I'm a black cloud that follows you around…but I can't help it.

"Bella, I'm a horrible man," he said, his eyes shining in despondency, "When Carlisle took me to hunt he told me they would take you from Prague and hide you somewhere. All I could think of was how much time I would give them before going to get you again. I thought of _killing_ them if they kept you away from me.

"Don't love me," he said suddenly, his eyes hard, "You are dead because of me Bella, hate me, curse me but don't love me. I don't deserve it."

I could tell he had finally finished with what he had to say when his shoulders sagged and he looked away, not expecting for me to reply. Then again, what could one say to all of that?

Peeved I realized he was doing it again. With all his angry looks and self-deprecating words he was trying to spin me out of course and disorient me from the real point. What Gabe didn't know was that he was too obvious. He had just admitted he loved me in so many words it wasn't even funny, but the sad part was he didn't know it. He simply refused to say the words to me or to himself, but I wasn't going to allow that. I had said them, and by God he was going to say them back or else…

"Don't tell me what to do," I snapped a moment after I had managed to stop gaping at him like an idiot. My sudden change of mood caught him by surprise.

"Bella, it's—," he started but I cut him off.

"I love you and you can't do anything about it!"

Before he could react I grabbed his arm and twisted it to his back. He lost his balance and we toppled to the ground. I ended up sitting on his back holding his arm at an odd angle.

"Bella you are hurting me," he said sounding both surprised and annoyed, "Get of off me."

He had told me I was as strong as an elder, too bad for him he had been right.

"You love me Gabe," I fumed holding him down, "You are going to admit it, and you are going to _like _it."

"Have you gone insane?" he gasped as I tightened my grip. "Stop acting like a child."

It was a rush to be bullying a veteran bully so I refused to cease and desist.

"Don't make me force you to eat dirt, you better say it," I warned him, realizing I was having fun, "_Say it…._"

"I am in love with a stupid girl, alright?" with that my world went upside down as he got from underneath me and I flew to the ground landing on my back.

"Now, was that so bad?" I asked grinning as he stood up pulling me along looking displeased.

"The Priam will still be after me," he began heatedly, "Michael will not be able to keep them back forever. Is that what you want, an eternal life of hiding and running? It would be better for you to go with the Cullens. They would discipline you and teach you to control your abilities…."

"And how long would it be before you went for me?" I asked out of frank curiosity.

The question caught him off guard so that he stared at me at a loss of words for a moment. I smiled at him and amazingly his face cracked into a grin.

"A week probably," he admitted grudgingly.

I reached for his hand and held it in both of mine, "So…Michael was right, you do want me."

He grimaced at the sound of his older brother's name but he pulled me towards him and sighed wearily, "Forever."

"And you hate it don't you?" I asked him laughingly.

He rested his forehead on mine like he had before he had walked away to what I had thought would be his death. "It's annoying," he grumbled and closed his eyes, "to care so much for somebody it blinds you from everything and doesn't let you think straight."

"Gabe, am I going to have to twist your arm every time I want to you to tell me you love me?" I asked him sweetly but a real threat lined my words.

Sensing this he smiled and kissed my forehead lightly, "Maybe."

I looked up at him my eyes narrowed, "That is not good enough."

"Bella, I have better things to tell you that are just as true, like you talk too much or you are extremely bossy or—"

"No, I meant the peck was not good enough," I interrupted. He looked confused and I sighed. For a powerful elder who had lived for centuries the guy could be pretty dense. I rolled my eyes, pulled his head down and kissed him.

I had dreamt of doing this. It had been embarrassing and I had thanked God or any Greater Being out there that Gabe wasn't able to read minds those times when I had woken up and he happened to be right next to me.

But like always, the reality was so much better than the dream, especially seeing Gabe look like I had just hit him over the head with a bat when I stepped back.

"I can live with that," he conceded looking bemused.

"We are going to be together for a very long time Gabe," I told him pulling him back to the cabin, "You better get used to it."

**Dare I say it...epilogue? Mwahahahaha, yeah I guess. It won't be as long as a real chapter, maybe only five or six pages, whatever my lovely muses feel like giving me. I'll try to update it by this weekend, so yeah. **

**Thanks for all the reviews you guys, I loved writting this fic, my longest ever.**


	15. Epilogue

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The time to say goodbye has come. Oh, woe is me. Anyhow, the ending was the ending...I only wrote this extra chap cuz I left a few ends untied and they didn't let me sleep at night.

**I guess the reason I wrote this fic at all was because the whole way Edward and Bella fell in love in the book was kinda bogus. Yeah, yeah, don't get me wrong, it was uber-romantic, I'm not saying it wasn't. I just didn't think it logical. The "Oh, I can't read your mind and you smell yummy, what an enigma. I am madly in love now," just didn't do it for me so I made Gabe. I guess I just wanted to make a rational relationship where two people saw each other's strengths and weaknesses but accepted them nonetheless. Oh and for those who _did_ catch on, yes, I got the title All That I've Got from the song of The Used, as in _'I'll be just fine pretending I'm not, I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got'_...yeah, I love that line. I'm a sucker for nice lyrics.**

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Epilogue

Somebody once gave me an analogy of the length of what encompassed eternity. It went something like this: eternity would be like having a vast pile of sand, as big as the country I was born in and moving it grain by grain to the neighboring continent, crossing the ocean—by foot (Though I never understood the logic in that) and returning for another grain the same way. All the time it would take to transfer the monumental pile of countless grains would constitute as eternity.

I know. It left me aghast at the thought too.

"Yeah that is a good way of putting it," Gabe mused after I had told him. He had been sipping on a mug of tepid rabbit's blood so I had been unsure if his grimace had been at the idea of such a long period of time or because of the taste.

"How far do you think you are on your pile?" I asked putting down my own mug trying to control my gag reflex. Rabbit's blood was the worst in my opinion; it tasted like licorice without any sweetness.

Gabe, probably trying to show off, downed his in two sizable gulps without any signs of choking, "A grain of sand, the distance…I'm in less than a handful I think."

Less than a handful…and that came from the guy who had been born on Ancient Rome….

Probably noticing my troubled expression he added hastily, "But that is just me, I was bored most of the time so everything has seemed more tedious. It might be different for you, how you see experiences and how you spend your time."

I smiled faintly at that and looked pointedly at our surroundings which consisted of a moldy and sultry roof of a beat down motel. It was located in the slums of Tokyo so there were dozens of taller buildings surrounding us. Many were apartment buildings so people would stare down from their windows at the strangers lounging around casually on a roof as rain fell. Enough time had passed that I was able to control my thirst urges as well as the disgust at the smell of human blood. It had been hard and taken practice but I had accomplished it. At least I could now walk on the streets on nice cloudy days instead of being holed up somewhere far and abandoned.

Once again Gabe and I had been forced to relocate thanks to the Priam. It had been the third time in two months. This time had been unexpected and Gabe, whose senses were still far better than mine, had sensed them as soon as they had entered the city we were in and had rushed to me to take my hand and begin to run.

Though it seemed they chased us at an unhurried pace, no matter how fast we ran—and we ran _very_ fast—it sometimes felt as if they were two steps behind us. They were like a group of serial killer Jasons. I mean seriously, the guy _walked_, how was it that he always managed to murder people who ran like their cahoots were on fire?

"I don't watch television, it stifles my creativity," Gabe had replied at my question with a remarkably straight expression. I hadn't bothered to dignify that with a response.

"What should I do with my time Gabe?" I asked now as the fat drops of rain that had been falling turned into a soft drizzle.

He leaned on the railing and stared at the empty street below us. His soaked hair hanged like dark, shinning dripping waves, "You can become a doctor, or a lawyer, or a ballerina. The sky is the limit, you can be anything you want to be Bella, believe in yourself."

"If it wasn't for your dripping sarcasm," I muttered back scathingly, "You would sound exactly like my mom."

"I wasn't being sarcastic Bella," he said turning to look at me with wide innocent eyes but he couldn't manage to keep a straight face.

"You are making fun of me, is that your favorite hobby?" I asked sourly.

He shook his head but his grin had become all too pronounced. "You have to admit it is funny to imagine. You a ballerina, ha! You trip over your own feet by just walking."

"Well, it doesn't matter. There isn't anything I want to do at the moment," I said airily, ignoring his chortling. I walked over and hopped up to sit on the rail he was leaning on. It squeaked ominously at my weight as I sat on its precarious edge. "Besides, eternity is eternity. They are bound to get tired of us sooner or later."

"Bella, you have the patience of a pin head, you won't be able to stand this out," Gabe said, his smile fading slowly. I pursed my lips but said nothing; I had learned that whenever Gabe began on this topic it was better to let it go. If I didn't he would go off on all the good pros of me leaving him and living a happy immortal life without him.

I was growing increasingly frustrated at Gabe and his constant harping on the topic of me leaving him. Just what exactly would I have to do to prove myself to him, to prove that I wanted to stay, that I _would_ stay?

"I know you will get tired of the running eventually," he continued and I rolled my eyes, here it came…

"Or there is the possibility you might hate me for all of this. Eternity is a long time to be pursued Bella."

"I can't see myself moving my grains of sand without you," I said shrugging. "So I won't leave you."

"I wouldn't be able to stand it if you hated me Bella," he finally said after a pause.

Sitting serenely on the bar I smiled at him. He looked like a statue of marble as the rain dripped from his hair and clung to his eye lashes. I had wondered that if in time I would get used to his incandescent eyes as they fell on me but nope, no go. They still managed to take my breath away.

"What are you worried about Gabe? I know you wouldn't admit something like that if you were okay, so what is wrong?"

He blinked at this which dislodged some of the drops from his lashes.

"I lied," he finally said, "The Priam wasn't the ones after us this time, it was the Cullens."

I jumped lightly from the rail and walked closer to him.

"You were afraid they would take me away," I stated softly, unsurprised at his confession.

Gabe suddenly looked flustered and affronted, "Wh-what, afraid, me? That is the stupidest—"

I grinned at his stammering, he was so damn cute

"Where are they Gabe?" I asked him gently.

He turned from me and leaned on the rail to look up at the night sky which even at night looked like charcoal above us with occasional lighting shooting through.

"Gabe…"

"If you really want to know," he muttered walking over to collect our abandoned mugs, "They are close, take a hike Bella. They will eventually find you."

He walked to the door of the stairs that led down. His shoulders twitched and his steps faltered as if he was about to stop and turn but he seemed to think better of it. He walked on and slammed the door behind him.

_Take a hike_…harsh. But I had learned enough of Gabe's moods to know that it was best for him to have his time alone.

'_The Cullens are here…for me…_' I thought turning from the closed door to look at the surroundings. I had known that there would be a time when we would meet again at some point. It had been a little more than a year since I had left them after all. We were bound to meet sooner or later especially when we would be roaming the world for a very long time.

Except that I was afraid.

As I jumped down the building and almost landed on an overflowing trashcan on the side alley I realized that I was afraid they would be disappointed in me. For having left them the way I had and now for not having a heartbeat. Their sole purpose had been to protect me and keep me alive. How was it that they would react to me, to my new eyes and the purple shadows under them? Or how hard and cold was my skin to the touch…

'_Don't hate me, please don't hate me,' _I implored silently.

I walked the dark streets as the faint drizzle fell like a fine mist. I ignored the group of boys who would see me pass by or the occasional gossiping pair of women on the street corners. The foreign language didn't faze, I didn't care or feel intimidated by being in strange places alone anymore. At least I had gained that by my death, a sort of courage in the face of adversity. But this was different, how could I face them?

'_But I made my choice, I fell in love again,'_ I thought, remembering the time I had hung up on Edward. That had been the climax for us though I hadn't known it then. By hanging up I had left behind the hope for Edward. The love hadn't left. I would love Edward forever…in a way; he had been my first love after all. But time had passed and Edward was no longer the starting star in my dreams. Gabe had taken that spot with his rude remarks and rolling eyes. It had been like replacing a cuddly teddy with a prickly hedgehog but I had done it and I had never regretted it.

Edward.

Would he look at me in disgust and claim I had lost my soul? The idea froze me in terror. I still needed his approval, even if I wouldn't be able to have his friendship.

Hours passed and the storm went with them. Dawn was almost on its way and grey ribbons of clouds were dispersed on the sky. If it hadn't been for the light pollution I would have been able to see a faint speckle of stars. I inhaled the smell of rain along with a faint sweetness. It made me stop on my tracks.

That sweetness…it was hard to explain, it was like bruised peaches and fading lavender but they meshed so well. The back hair of my neck stood up as the sense of being watched struck. I heard the soft footsteps approach casually as I turned slowly.

The sickly street lights cast a sallow glow on her face but it was still angelic in its preternatural beauty.

I didn't even grant her the time to blink in surprise before I rushed in a flash to her and threw my arms around her.

"Alice, you are here! I'm so happy," I hugged her tight and gave excited jumps. I could hear her tinkling laughter on my ear and feel her wispy hair tickle my chin.

"Bella, you are incorrigible as ever," she said stepping back from my embrace smiling. She gave me a subtle up and down look but whatever she might have seen to her dislike she didn't comment on it.

"I thought it would be Carlisle or Edward," I gushed still giddy at her appearance. I had really missed her and it had been far too long.

"No, Jasper and I have been following your trail for the past month. I told Jasper to split up today. He is on the other side of the city district right now."

"Oh, that is too bad," I said disappointed looking over her shoulder as if Jasper might materialize behind her any moment.

"He will probably come and find me eventually," she said taking my hand. My smile faltered as I saw a touch of sadness glimmer in her eyes, "You are so cold Bella."

I took back my hand in the disguise of brushing my hair behind my ear. I wasn't prepared for this. When I had thought of the Cullens nowadays it had been mostly Carlisle, Esme and Edward I had concentrated on. Alice had slipped my mind, probably because she had not been with us in Prague.

"Yeah well, it comes with the territory," I said trying to laugh it off, "You know what it is like, right?"

Instead of smiling again she looked at me somberly, "Yes, I know too well."

"I didn't want for this to happen Alice," suddenly I felt like pleading my case. It hadn't been my fault; I hadn't pressed Michael's venomous fangs on my neck and pressed like a stapler…ooh, morbid picture.

"I know Bella," she said squeezing my arm placating, "I think I know better than most."

My mouth dried in a fraction of a second, "Better than most? Does that mean that…?"

"Everybody knows," she said gently, "I told them when we returned from Forks."

Turning on my heels I began to walk again knowing that she would follow me, "When did you return?"

"A couple of months ago…I couldn't stay away anymore. Esme's pleading became too much to ignore."

"How are Charlie and Renée?"

"Heart broken, you should contact them…let them know you are fine."

"Something tells me they are better off. I can't go back and that is what they would want. How would I be able to face them now? They would see right through me…they would realize the Bella they knew died."

"I knew you would say that," Alice sighed resigned.

I nodded but remained silent, just how much did Alice know, what future did she see for me now?

"I always knew you would turn Bella, nobody else seemed to believe me on that matter."

"You mean Edward didn't want to believe it," I corrected her pragmatically.

She grimaced and looked guilty, "Yes, he always thought that leaving you would keep you from that future. That is why when the visions of you began again I had to stay away from him. It was too difficult making sure he wouldn't read my mind."

I stopped abruptly so that she bumped slightly to my shoulder, "What visions?"

Alice walked further on but when she saw that I wasn't following she turned, her lips pursed, "Visions of you…and that man, Gabriel. I had to stay away from Edward because I didn't want him to hurt, Bella. I didn't want him to see that despite his efforts, you would_ still_ die and live forever, except that it wouldn't be in his arms and with him. That would have killed him. I let time pass so that he would grow used to the idea, but it was hard for him. I don't know if he has ever disliked anybody as much as he does Gabriel…

"At first the visions only showed you returning to Forks somehow but then they changed, you changed."

"I don't regret it Alice."

She grinned and gave a graceful shrug, "I know Bella, trust me, I do."

"I am happy the way things are.'

"I can tell."

"Gabe can be a smartass but I love him, he is a great person."

"I am sure he is…you talk a lot Bella."

"I won't go back," I said ignoring the comment, "I know you guys mean well but I won't leave him."

Alice frowned for a moment, "Bella I am not here to take you back with us, I am here because I wanted to see you."

When I didn't reply, only stared at her wide-eyed and slightly doubtful she continued, "I have seen so many versions of your future Bella, but there isn't a single one that didn't have Gabriel in it…Edward almost went berserk when I wasn't able to hold the visions back from him anymore."

"How is he? I mean, did—does he hate me now?"

"There is hate," she began but when she saw my face fall she continued hastily, "but towards himself. He regrets his actions now.

"I think…I think he wishes he had been more like Gabriel and thrown caution into the wind like him just to be with you. He knows you are happy Bella; that more than anything else calmed him down."

I had never known relief could be so liberating. A second after Alice words had registered in my head I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. Edward would be okay, there were no ill feelings left.

"Everybody else still wants to see you. Maybe someday you will pay us a visit?" her gentle smile could not be denied. I smiled back, "Definitely, someday."

After a while of silent walking we saw the sky begin to gain a rose shade, dawn had arrived.

"Tell me Alice, what is the future you have seen for me so far?"

Alice stopped and laughed lightly, "What is the fun in knowing Bella?"

Before I could reply she turned and waved gently to somebody behind me. I smiled as Jasper made his way over. I wasn't sure if the sense of well-being I was experiencing was caused by him or by this reunion.

I suppose it had always been meant to be for me to become a vampire sooner or later. My only real friends were them anyways; normal humans had never done it for me.

Not to mention two undead boyfriends, that says millions about a girl.

"I met your partner a while ago," Jasper said casually, "He threatened to stick my head in a meat shredder if I kept making him feel happy, strange guy."

"Sounds like my Gabe," I said fondly.

"He asked me if we were here to take you back," Jasper continued and looked questionably at Alice who only smiled and shook her head. "I told him it was up to you."

"Gabe thinks I'll end up leaving him," I explained to them. "He doesn't believe me when I tell him I won't."

Seeing as how it had been a long time since we had last met, I made a point of spending the rest of the day with Alice and Jasper. I did not know how much time would pass before we would meet again. We talked and walked in the heavily shaded areas of markets that were too crowded for us to be conspicuous. They gave me tips on my newly attained immortality and I told them of my entire adventure. The day passed by fast so before we knew it the sun was setting on us.

"Can't you stay a little longer?" I begged, "You chased after me far longer than this."

"Which is why it is best if we head off now," Jasper said kissing me gently on the cheek. I smiled at this small action of affection. A year ago he hadn't been able to be left alone in the same room with me, let alone touch me.

"Carlisle and the others are anxious to have an update on your new…condition," Alice explained standing on a tiptoe to hug me and peck me on the cheek, "We can't keep them waiting much longer."

"Fine," I surrendered gracelessly, trying hard to hold back a pout.

"It will take time to convince Gabriel of the deepness of your love," Alice said winking at me, "But you managed to win his heart, I'm sure you will manage to take away his insecurity. He found you, and you found him, this is the way things were meant to be."

…_this is the way things were meant to be…_

Yes, she was right.

I ran the steps of the motel that led to the roof two at a time. By the time I had banged open the door in my hurry night had fully settled. There was no moon in sight as well as no stars, only the faint glow of a city that never slept.

Gabe was by the railing once more, his back to me. It was as if he had never moved.

"Hey…" I walked cautiously to him wondering if his black mood had improved.

Finally he turned and eyed me without emotion, his face blank as ever, "Hey."

"So I hear you met Jasper," I said attempting to go for a light tone. When he continued to merely stare, not attempting to answer, I went on, "It was Alice and Jasper who came this time. They were the ones following us for a while. You never met them, did you? Alice has this…ability. Well, so does Jasper but I'm sure you know that already."

He remained silent and continued to stare it was unnerving, "So…how was your day Gabe?"

"Uneventful."

"Oh, that is nice," I muttered. I walked over and took my old seat on the railing. Before I knew it there was a high-pitched screech and the metal rail, probably rusty, finally gave. For a second I felt my sudden descend that made my insides jump as in a roller coaster but then Gabe's hands were there, pulling me back to safety.

I gasped and looked down at the far five story fall. Even though I knew I was already dead and the fall would not have even given me a scratch, I still retained my human fears. My nails dug deep into his shoulders as he settled me back on the ground.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded wordlessly, suddenly embarrassed at my groundless fears but Gabe only stepped back and continued to look morose. Whatever his mind was on it was bad, especially if he hadn't felt like poking fun at me.

"Gabriel, does everything I tell you enter one ear and go out through the other?" I asked him suddenly exasperated.

His mouth snapped open, "Since when do you call me Gabriel?"

"Since you decided to continue to act like an idiot. Alice and Jasper are gone," I informed him sulkily crossing my arms, "And as you can see I chose not to go with them."

His expression softened fractionally but I could still see the doubt like a thin glaze on his eyes.

What could I do or say? How would I get him to believe in me, in us?

"_It will take time to convince Gabriel of the deepness of your love,"_ that is what Alice had said…and Alice always knew best, right?

Gabe had said I had the patience of a pin head; I would just have to prove him wrong.

"Alright, I get it," I finally sighed, my frustration melting.

"What do you get?" he asked suspiciously.

"Time, that is all you need," I said shrugging, "And we have all the time in the world, literally."

"Bella you are not making any sense," he pointed out dryly.

"You want me to be with you, that is a fact. All you need to realize is that I do too. I have said it countless times and showed it in different ways but you still don't get it…it's okay though. I don't mind if you are slow, I can wait."

Finally his protective shell broke and he gave one of his awkward grins, "Slow? Yeah, I guess being with you has finally rubbed off on me."

I scowled and inhaled to begin a tirade but he stopped it by leaning down and kissing me. I had a faint suspicion he had done it partly to shut me up, which was cheating, but you wouldn't catch me complaining.

"Bella, can I ask you a favor?" he later asked placing a large hand on my head.

I frowned and pulled his hand down, "Yeah, what?"

"Don't call me Gabriel. It's too weird."

"I thought you hated being called Gabe?" I asked amused. We had definitely come a long way from those times in my room where "Fabio" and "Gabe" had earned me a withering look from him.

He thought about it for a moment and shrugged, "It's like being two different people. I am Gabriel to everybody else, Gabe only for you. That is just the way it is."

If I had had any warm blood running through me I knew this confession would have made me blush. Yet he had stated it as if it was something normal.

"That is the way it was meant to be," I said remembering Alice's words.

"I love you Bella, I know I'm not perfect but just bear with me."

I stared at the tall man before me and tried to envision spending every single day of my endless eternity with him. I remembered the grains of sand…so many grains of sand. And he was right, he was not perfect…

The thing was that I tried to imagine it, our life together, always running. If the Priam never grew tired of it we would run forever probably. I tried to imagine it and accomplished it.

It was so real and crystal clear. I _could_ see myself by Gabe's side moving our pile of sand together. Just like Alice had probably seen it as well.

"I do want to be a ballerina sometime this century," I told him seriously

Gabe shook his head laughing, "I think it might take you more than a century."

"As my life companion you are supposed to humor me and help me achieve my dreams," I informed him sniffing, "And also become a ballerina yourself...you know, to show your support."

"Uh, I won't be doing that but let's just pretend I am."

"Okay," I said in mock resignation. I looked up at him and smiled.

The wall around him was no longer there, or if it was he had made a door just for me to go in and out from. He was Gabe only for me, always and forever.

**It was hard to end it, but end it I did.** **Thanks for all the reviews and messages I really appreciated them you guys. I don't think my lovely muses are up to the challenge of a sequel but La-Mer-De-Lune suggested pulling a Midnight Sun kinda deal but with Gabe's point of view. I honestly liked the idea and my muses got all gittery about it but I can't make any promises. I might write a demo chapter for it, if people like it I might go with it but...I dunno, we'll see.**

**Anyways thanks for everything, I'm glad I made some of you happy. That was trully awesome. Toodles. **


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